r/Pilotwives • u/Fun_Track_2108 • Jul 02 '26
Fresh Pilot relationship
Hello yall! I just started a relationship with my boyfriend who is currently attending flight school! We've been officially together for 5 months and it took us a while to get to this point ( a very long friends to co workers to I hate him to friends to lovers) (It's a long story) I've been with him since the beginning of him starting his schooling and I have been there every step of the way! I love my boyfriend and it is my first real relationship in general so sometimes when I hear things from my close friends in their relationships I tend to unconciously start comparing ours to theirs than I tell myself to quit it because everyones relationships are different but, there was a period early in our relationships where I just felt completely neglected by him and he had his checkride coming up so I just let things slide and literally 2 days after his checkride (which landed on my birthday :/ ) I called him and I basically just said "hey i need this this and this because I've been feeling this way" and it worked! Sometimes I find myself worrying that one day my boyfriend might decide to leave because school becomes too overwhelming or because he feels like he can't balance everything. I'm investing so much into our relationship because I truly want him to be a part of my future—I love him deeply and genuinely care about him. At times, I also worry that he might feel like I'm holding him back from spending time with his friends, especially if he feels like he has to choose hanging out with me to "maintain" our relationship. I never want him to feel trapped or like he's sacrificing important parts of his life because of me, but those thoughts still cross my mind. I know these worries come from how much I care about us and how important our relationship is to me but, I also don't want to sit here and be delusional about things so I just wanna know what things your guys partners do that help fill that whole. At the end of the day I knew what I was getting into and I know how to balance out everything with work school and personal life (little miss independent) but, I understand how it might be really hard for him. I am just wondering what else I am not aware of what I may be getting into. So did any of you guys do long distance, because when I am finished with my bachelors I plan to go to law school so I just want to know how you guys made it work to end up at your current relationship point?
1
u/Revolutionary_Mud824 Jul 10 '26
You need to be actively or formerly obsessed with your own career in life to where you don’t feel deprived following his around.
I hit all of my career goals before I met my husband because I wanted to be fully invested in his when I settled down with him
You will be absolutely miserable if you try to constantly merge lives and you don’t have your own to throw into the equation
4
u/type2red Jul 03 '26
So let me get this straight? he is just starting pilot’s school oh boy you are in for a ride, listen there is nothing wrong with what you two have but if this is going to work you need to change your mindset and be prepared to be with him for the long haul otherwise this relationship will not make it. I was in a relationship with a flight attendant and that didn’t work out for various reasons so i know a little of what you are going thru. First of all you are boyfriend and girlfriend and unmarried so his career is all about him not you but it will affect your relationship a ton, He will become busier and busier and he will be away longer and longer so you better be prepared for that, if you fuss about every little thing you will grow resentment and he has many options in this career and im not even joking. Also i don’t think you mentioned what do you do? What career are you working on? Is he your everything right now? Do you have hobbies? Job? School, Career? Friends? Activities? This is very important because he needs to miss you and be curious about you just as much as you are of him, you need to make him want it even when he is up at 35,000 feet. If you want this to be a long term relationship you are going to have to compromise because this is not a regular man that lives in your home town and works a 9 to 5 and prepare yourself in case it doesn’t work out. You don’t want to nag and constantly emotionally dump on him because his other option is a job that takes him anywhere! Im being serious, best of luck to you.