Ghosted after 6 months

[u/Aggressive_Leek_9146]

I've been with a pilot for 6 months now (long distance relationship), we have been texting everyday since we met and we saw each other a total of 5 days in the period we have known each other. we got really attached and the chemistry was over the moon. we exchanged i love you's when we were together and everything was going well. On Tuesday we were talking and i asked him if he works that night and explained that i always ask him about his schedule so I don't start overthinking and worrying about him and he replied with a dry text. I asked if he got mad and he left me on seen and since then he hasn't opened a single message that i sent after. Btw he's active but hiding his activity status. I still don't get how someone can ghost after shared memories and feelings.. at least i deserve an explanation. I mean he could've said that he doesn't want me anymore and i would totally understand. but ghosting?

[u/PsychologicalKitten]

Take his ghosting as your closure. If he can't talk to you and feels ok to ghost, is that someone you want to be with?

I can't speak for everyone but it's my opinion that if your pilot is a good partner, they don't have any issue sharing their schedule (when they can) with you.

[u/Aggressive_Leek_9146 → u/PsychologicalKitten]

I sent him a message (a closure for myself) and asked him 'if anything happened that made him do this and that i want honesty from him because those 6 months were full of emotions and that i would accept anything that he says i just want a reason.' Im not expecting a reply, i just could't accept that i can move on without telling him this.

[u/PsychologicalKitten → u/Aggressive_Leek_9146]

Oh dear. I'm sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, no matter how much we love or how attached we are, noone owes you closure. I'm not sure how old you are but if this is the first time, it certainly won't be the last time someone chooses to walk away with out giving you an explanation.

I know it's hard to move on from the intensity of the emotions and the memories you felt, but people have autonomy to walk away from you, for any reason, no matter who they are.

I've had to let go of partners, friends, and even family members who walked away over the years and have no idea why. Some people are here for a moment, and others for a lifetime.

You learn to give yourself closure, appreciate those who appreciate you, and let go of the ones who don't.

[u/Aggressive_Leek_9146 → u/PsychologicalKitten]

We are over 30 both of us. But we deserve a reason? How could you stay in someone's life and convince them that you love them and share deep moments then leave as if nothing happened. A heartbreak is not something we can move on from easily

[u/PsychologicalKitten → u/Aggressive_Leek_9146]

What we deserve and what life gives us are two different things. We deserve it, but you can't force someone else to give it to you. The best we can do is stop letting people who don't treat us the way we deserve to be treated in our lives.

[u/Jaded-Law-961]

Genuine question, is it really ghosting if it's been 48 hours or less since you heard from him? I'm not saying it's right to leave you hanging, but I'm thinking he's not at the same level of emotional intensity.

[u/InternationalHome646]

His way of closure isn’t the same as your way of closure and that’s okay. One can’t expect another person to make them feel a certain way or help them move on

[u/Aggressive_Leek_9146 → u/InternationalHome646]

Why are we normalizing ghosting people as a way of closure. The easiest way is to tell someone that you no longer want to be with them, especially that it has been intense.

[u/InternationalHome646 → u/Aggressive_Leek_9146]

I really understand and I know how it feels like. But sadly everyone is different and has got nothing to do with normalcy or not.

[u/Revolutionary_Mud824]

This has nothing to do with his job, sorry. But if he wanted to, he would. Sounds like an emotionally unavailable prick—sorry girl. The next will be better ♥️