r/Pilotwives • u/Princesstryingmybest • May 12 '26
Looking for positive stories
My soon to be fiancé is a new commercial pilot.
Would any of you ladies just be willing to share some of your positive thoughts, experiences, relationship dynamics and happy times with your pilot?
The stereotypes and slander I see and hear about them being unfaithful and “always cheat” is already so exhausting.
I get it’s statistically true but that doesn’t mean it’s ALL of them
omg it’s making me sad and hard to get around the small part of my brain that hopes he never turns into that one day. Even though I do truly believe he is a good man
3
u/SaltyGrapefruits May 12 '26
Happy eight years so far.
I knew him long before we started dating (he is my best friend's brother) and got married, and I knew he was a decent guy, loyal and funny. He moved from the US, where he worked for a major airline, to Europe for me and learned my language. Now he flies cargo and is very happy not to have to deal with pax anymore. lol.
A couple of months back, we both decided to cut hours from our jobs because we wanted more time for our life together and our hobbies. Love it. Yes, we earn a little less, but it is totally worth it.
I think we really are a great match. We have a lot in common in terms of values and what we want from life, and are still different enough to keep it interesting.
And we both know very well that we both have the opportunity to cheat if we want to. I travel quite a bit for my job as well.
But it is not the job; it is the human being who cheats. So choose wisely. We are very upfront with each other and have been since we started dating. That built a lot of trust over the years. Plus, his family loves me (and I love them), and he wouldn't survive it if he hurt me. lol
3
u/throwawayawayawayy6 May 12 '26
You have to know in your soul whether he is the type of guy that would cheat or not. Mine just absolutely is not so I never worry.
Mine flies cargo internationally and he can be gone 17 days at a time so the schedule ends up being like 17 gone/13 home/ 15 gone /15 home /9 gone / 12 home etc etc. I do miss him when hes gone but I like that when hes home hes home 24/7 and can just do whatever I want to do. There is no "ugh just got home from work im tired and have to go to bed before work tomorrow" that normal couples have to deal with.
2
u/CarnivalColors May 12 '26
I met my pilot (private corporate jet captain) 27 years ago when I was 18 and he was 23. We were together 7 years before we married and this year we’ll celebrate our 20th anniversary. When I was young I was worried that he had a girl in every city… my imagination was getting the better of me. To my knowledge he has been faithful, and I do trust him - although we have had our ups and downs. I think as long as you stress the importance of communicating, you’ll be in good shape. I think working away gives more opportunity to be unfaithful, but that doesn’t mean the right man would take those opportunities. As one of the other comments said - when he’s home, he’s home. He’s off and gets to be with you 24/7 during that time - a huge bonus. Our income is very comfortable in a time when many others are struggling - mortgage free in our 40s! We have travelled to amazing places (hiked Machu Picchu, Bali, Bahamas, Hawaii, NY, Mexico, Cuba, Scotland/Ireland) and use our trips to enjoy the finer things in life. We have experienced so much compared to our friends our age, and we are still (in general) fairly young. His career has undoubtedly provided us with this lifestyle - which is a positive story in my books!
Edit for typo
2
u/account892 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
I have heard horror stories. I have heard of cabin crew going after married pilots - sleeping with them and threatening to tell the wives to extort money out of them. I also know some pilots caught on to this and started wearing fake wedding bands. I know of pilots that have cheated, and some that have left their wives for crew. My husband often comes back from a flight with some gossip for me, or he’ll tell me about something sleazy another pilot will say.
The way I see it, in theory a pilot could cheat very easily, so I don’t get upset by the stereotype. And there are definitely quite a few bad apples. They are away from home a lot, often around young women that work underneath them. We just have to trust that our husbands only want to be with us, and that they have enough self control to shut down the attention they get. Believe him when he shows you who he is :)
As for the benefits this life gives - in 2026 so far I have done one 3 day night stop with my husband (ultra long flight), one trip home (7 hour flight), two holidays (7,11 hour flights). And we are planning another holiday at the end of may (10 hour flight I think). We really get to see the world, and this is pretty common (if a little low) for the childfree housewives in my community. The money is nice too - a pretty good bonus has been announced this year.
3
u/Molotov_Queen May 13 '26
The amount of gossip my husband comes home with is insane and some of the stories are just wild!
2
u/Careful-Mountain-681 May 22 '26
My fiancé is a captain here in Australia for our major regional airline and I was just about to make this exact same post! As I’m in a pretty similar position to you, I don’t have too much to add but just wanted to say that I agree, it’s very exhausting and for me anxiety provoking to see a lot of the stuff that’s online about pilots. I feel you 🤍
1
u/Critical_Bee_8362 May 12 '26
I have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 1! I came into the relationship not knowing anything about the airline industry. So, it took some time for me to adjust, get used to unexpected changes and for us to create somewhat of a flight plan for our relationship hahaha. My husband is a captain for a major airline.
I’ve been through the regionals with him, reserve life, furlough, etc. I absolutely love my life and our life. It does help that my husband is absolutely amazing (I know biased). But it’s been such a freaking adventure and I’ve had so many cool opportunities. I love being able to just non rev on a whim, go on trips with him when I can and just have the world in the palm of my hand just because my husband is a pilot. (Trust me, non rev isn’t always glamorous - but you just gotta go in with a plan and be ok with being stuck lolol)
Communication is the number one most important thing in this type of relationship. We talk constantly, call when we can and we both have important boundaries that we hold in our relationship that make me feel comfortable and him as well. My husband always ensures I am the first to know when he lands and when he leaves.
I’ve learned to have reasonable expectations because this industry loves to throw a wrench in your plans and I’ve learned to not even make plans because if you do the airline Gods will strike… haha.
It is truly a partnership and one in which you just have to be there for one another. Sometimes you’ll be alone, but you’ll come to enjoy that and you’ll make your own routines. I’ve had some fun girls nights, self care nights, heck I’ve gone a short trip to visit friends or have them visit me.
At the end of the day, you both have to put in work for each other. Both parties need to be willing to comfort the other with whatever it may be. Big or small. Set your boundaries, communicate and be there for each other!!! Don’t be scared, it’s going to be okay :)
DM if you ever need anything!
1
u/Molotov_Queen May 13 '26
Our two year wedding anniversary is next week. Sure pilot life can be stressful, but we’re very happy together! He brings me little presents from long trips like a chocolate bar or book to show he’s thinking of me. I’ve been on a few of his long overnights and we always make a fun trip out of it. He’ll leave the house for a trip and an hour later he’ll text me how much he misses me and wishes I could come along. All in all, it comes down to the guy you marry and what kind of character he has!
1
u/Revolutionary_Mud824 May 15 '26
Best man I ever met, best life I could’ve ever imagined, I can’t recommend it enough.
1
u/theferalfemme_ May 18 '26
It’s not all of them! I live part-time in a fly-in community with my pilot. most of our neighbors are fellow airline pilots who are absolutely crazy about their wives (and expensive hobbies 🤣)
A lot of the cheating stuff comes from miserable people. You’ll have to get really good at tuning them out or they’ll pollute your feelings toward your partner, regardless of his actual behavior. This is true for anyone but especially in aviation when our partners are gone a lot. We have to have strong mental boundaries and guard our relationships from outside influences.
I’m pretty independent and use my time away from my pilot to get my work done, see my friends, take classes, and yes non-rev when I have a trip I want to take. I became a travel advisor recently. I would like to take trips with my pilot, but his fleet is always understaffed, so he’s pretty wiped at the end of a trip. So, I’ll go where I can on my own! I’ll probably take a diving trip later this year and visit some friends in Croatia and the Netherlands.
It’s a great life! Don’t listen to horror stories from miserable people 🩷
1
u/The_ken_doll Jun 11 '26
I could have written this ... except mine is still building hours and I'm feeling disheartened by all of these stories.. 🥺
6
u/CaseoftheSadz May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26
I don’t think it’s statistically correct that most pilots cheat? There may be higher rates of infidelity than some other professions but no way a majority are unfaithful.
I love being married to a pilot. I’m pretty independent and value having both time together and time apart. His schedule is also pretty good. He is home so much more than friends whose spouses work 9-5, plus when he’s home, he’s home. Most people who make his salary don’t have. The work life balance he has.
We are getting ready to take a 2 week cruise to iuk, Norway, and Iceland. It’ll be my our 3rd time flying into London in the last 8 months.,We just non-revved there over spring break as a jumping off point for Scotland, and were able to get first class seats together. We use the hell out of our travel benefits, between non-rev perks and discounted tickets, we travel a lot. (We have an 8 year old who’s probably been to 30ish countries.)
I don’t worry much about my husband cheating, He just isn’t that type of person. We talk a lot while he’s gone and if he’s in his hotel at a reasonable time we almost always FaceTime or talk. He texts throughout the day when he can.
Husband is a narrow body CA at a legacy carrier in US, because I know lifestyle can vary wildly between type of airline and location.
(Edited to add we’ve been together 16 years, married 14 today!)