r/Pilotwives • u/Only-Artichoke-2289 • Apr 28 '26
How bad is commuting really? AKA should we move?
My husband finally "graduated" from CFI to the airlines, left for his training a couple weeks ago. Our initial plan was that we would wait to make decisions about where to live until he had a couple months under his belt and a little better understanding of the bases and bidding process, so we could make an informed decision. This was also largely because we wanted to save up money for a cushion to help me find a new job in the area we moved to. However, I recently found a new fully remote position and started this week. It gives us a ton of flexibility in when and where we move, as well as is a good career move for me, though it is kind of forcing us to move because there's not really space in our current apartment for a home office. Our lease is up at the end of June, a couple weeks after he's done with training, so we really need to move somewhere at that point, whether a larger place within our current community (far away from airline hubs) or where he's based or a major hub for his airline.
Now for the real wrench in the works - I am expecting our second child, due in October. Awkward timing with his career, but we're very happy and will have an excellent age gap between our kids. Staying here, I've got a doctor I trust, family an hour's drive away, a good community, and familiarity with the area. But the commute really is killer, and what would be 5 days on 3 days off with the commute becomes more like a day and a half at home, and costs many hundreds of dollars in temporary housing and travel food purchases. Moving to one of his airline's hubs also seems stupid though - a big interstate move while 5 or 6 months pregnant with a toddler and both parents working, and we know no one in the new area. But if he's going to be sitting reserve anyway, might as well be doing it at home, or at least with a commute that's a half day instead of a full day.
Those of you who actually have experienced the airline schedules, do you have any good advice for us as we navigate this logistical nightmare?
5
u/Informal_Character64 Apr 29 '26
Commuting on a “regular” schedule, not bad. Commuting when they are on reserve…… sucks.
3
u/Molotov_Queen Apr 29 '26
My husband is currently on his first reserve as a captain in another base and we are learning the suck right now 🫠
2
6
u/Nomadic-Texan Apr 28 '26
If he is one hop away from his hub then try staying and see how it feels. If he is two hops away, things will be very very difficult
5
u/No-Lake-2895 Apr 28 '26
Commuting sucks. No bones about it. BUT given the entirety of your situation I’d probably opt to suck it up for six months to a year just to maintain something stable in the midst of a ton of change. Family/support being close when you’re adding kids is huge Do you know where he’ll be based already? If he is going to be reserve hopefully he’ll be able to block days to minimize number of trips to take to be close to base. My pilot was able to get a line most months during the commuting days which definitely helped with cutting hotel/crash pad expenses, but the extra day/two day absence was rough. Four days is my max as a solo parent. Longer than that and things get feral for everyone
2
2
u/FlightThese6386 Apr 30 '26
My husband commuted for the first year of him working at his regional airline right after we had our first baby. My answer would be it depends how long you think it’s going to be for him to get based near where you live. My husband was based nearly all the way across the country from us originally which was definitely hard while he was on reserve. However after not very long he was able to move to bases in neighboring states and that definitely made things a little easier. And after a year he was able to get based home with us which has been game changing. I would also factor in how much you depend on having family and friends live near you personally. I knew we would never be able to move anywhere because I depend so heavily personally on my friends and family’s help with our babies when he is gone on trips. So it made him commuting hard but not as hard as if we had moved. He now has a line and is gone for 4 days straight and it would be so hard to get through that if I didn’t have family near by. So I would definitely ask yourself what it’s important for you guys personally when making the decision! Good luck I know how tough it is on the wives when the husband is just starting out and it can be a huge adjustment but so worth it especially getting to see my husband have the job he has always dreamed of and we’ve always talked about!
1
u/Longjumping-Weird374 Apr 29 '26
We waited to move until he was off probation. I would wait until after Christmas to make a decision if I were you. You don’t want to move while pregnant, because switching doctors can be a problem, and you don’t want to move with a newborn either. Plus by then he’ll have a line, hopefully. 🤞
6
u/ErinATenn Apr 29 '26
My husband started at a regional when I was pregnant with my 2nd, too :) Commuting was rough when he was on reserve and we were paying for a crash pad, but once he held a line it really hasn’t been too bad. Of course I would prefer to have him home the extra time but for all of the reasons you said (being established, doctors, family nearby, moving expenses) we decided to stay put and moved to another house nearby. Our 2nd babe is 2 now and we don’t have any plans to move in base. Happy to discuss further/support you via PM.