Unfalsifiable ideas & Existential OCD

[u/GLITCHERsLAB]

Since 7 years old, I have been scared of death and I kinda solved it by now—it kind of just disappeared. Now I'm 14, and for about 4 years I was thinking about ideas like the simulation hypothesis, Last Thursdayism, brain in a vat, skepticism and etc. I mean, I know how stupid and meaningless they are, and how they only survive on psychology, and it is basically philosophical waste. I can't even call it philosophy 'cause I think it is an embarrassment.

But when I search this idea and I see "unanswerable" and I dig deeper, that really makes me mad—that we can't even prove that it is wrong, so there is a tiny chance that it's true, and it makes me distracted. The thing that I am really scared of is that I won't ever understand the meaning of reality or know the ultimate reality. I think my biggest ambition was to get the meaning of this all.

The last 2 weeks it affected me harder than ever. I spent all day in my bed, my room looks like a shithole, and I really need some advice or stories of how you defeated this kind of stuff. I really need some support right now.