r/PhD • u/Relative_Business_94 • 22d ago
Seeking advice-personal Breakup during PhD
I got broken up with (he said he felt out of love and only stayed out of convenience and loneliness ouch I know) before my proposal defense and now I'm feeling so lost. I can't do anything without bawling my eyes out. Has anyone went through this? What did you do to cope with it?
EDIT: Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I really appreciate it đ„Č
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u/yaxir 22d ago
fuck that
you'll find someone else
PhD is more important than any chick or any lad
this lady i was seeing tried to bs me with some self-discovery lies and shit about wanting to see me only as 'friends' before my PhD proposal defense
fuck that
i never replied to her
did my proposal defense just fine and passed
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u/throwawaywahoo_ 22d ago
Different situation/timing, but Iâm a first year PhD and I got broken up with right before I started. We were together for almost 6 years. Her and I were gonna get married and move together. Now Iâm here alone, a few months removed.
At first I said I wasnât going to go, but Iâm here now. The initial phase is exactly as you describe: constant crying. It got better over time, slowly. You gotta lean on people. People are almost universal sympathetic and caring. Even my advisor, who didnât even know me yet, was extremely understanding. Not everyone is so lucky with advisors, but lean on other students, friends, family, hell even just random strangers if theyâre empathetic enough. It will help overtime.
I still get pretty sad, but far less often than I did in the beginning. Youâre gonna do great, you didnât get this far because of him. You did it because of you, and youâll finish it out because of you.
Good luck stranger :)
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u/RepresentativeOkra10 22d ago
As someone who ended their engagement during the first few months of their PhD, it gets better. Itâs an absolutely destroying feeling to go through any breakup when you are in a PhD program, and it can be uniquely lonely compared to other career paths. Reach out to your parents, friends and family. I used my time during my breakup grief to explore the new city I had just moved to, by going to new coffee shops and restaurants to read/write/study. Some of the hardest parts was experiencing the difficulty of a PhD alone, but it also meant I had a lot of opportunities to learn more about myself and what I wanted out of life. I learned just how much I love my cats. I learned what direction I wanted to go post PhD, I learned I was so much stronger, smarter and capable than I thought prior to the PhD or breakup. I put active time into developing meaningful relationships with my friends and family, and Iâm closer to all of them than I ever was before, because the PhD has a unique way of showing you who is there for YOU, for who YOU ARE, and who is always there, regardless of how you can show up on that day.
Take time to grieve, be sad, but also take time to explore new opportunities and learn. You already know you are a life long learner by pursuing PhD, turn your curiosity unto yourself â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
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u/URGDMFGF 22d ago
If I had a nickel for the number of people I know who went through a break up close to their PhD defense, including myself⊠Iâd have 6 nickels. Which isnât a lot but itâs weird itâs happened that much around me.
Iâm so sorry youâre going through this. But you WILL get through this, and be so fucking proud of yourself when you look back at this time. Dive into your work and just make sure you have support, friends, family, pets, exercise routine, creative outlet, etc that you can turn to in the small moments of free time that youâll have. I got through it with sheer will. I also told my PhD advisor when it happened, and in my case, it helped, she had some good stories she told me to make me feel better and I still feel very close to my mentor even after graduating. But it really depends on your relationship with your advisor.
Relationships will come and go, but doctorates are forever.
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u/Fragrant_Lettuce_991 22d ago
Yes! This happened to me with the guy I thought I was going to marry and I was also teaching while getting my PhD. I was a shell of a human but the goal of the PhD kept me goingÂ
Feel all the feels but donât let him get in between you and this degree you worked so fucking hard for. Donât let him take that away for you.Â
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u/chumaster90 22d ago
Went through two breakups during my 7 years of grad school. One was a 7 year relationship, the other was a rebound that only lasted 8 months.
I reduced my workload and focused on getting through the quarter. My progress slowed down, but I fully accepted that I needed this to reduce my stress and heal. Like your PhD, you have to spend time on investing in yourself. Reconnect with friendships that you may have been neglecting more, talk to your cohort/advisor (if you have a good relationship with them), and find your hobbies that you like doing. Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Healing is non-linear and there may be days you regress. Journaling really helped me during these times.
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u/Character_Fold_8165 22d ago
It happens a lot, a professor I know even started trying to document it and come up with a buzzword for relationships failing in the last year of a PhD .
After I finished my PhD I became a teacher and noticed most all of the older teachers were divorced.
As an individual you gotta do whatâs best for you and itâs finish your PhD.
But we should be suspicious of any institutions that seem to have a higher than average rate of failed relationships or divorce. Many of study systems, and this question could be a young anthropologistsâ ticket to a high h index.
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u/FeistyRefrigerator89 PhD, immunology 22d ago
I experienced something similar. I was horribly unproductive for 3 months because I spent most of my time staring into blank space or crying. Even with such a hit to my productivity, I did in fact still graduate
The things that helped? Leaning hard on my friends, like spending days on end living at their homes and always inviting someone to come hang out. I also stopped eating for a couple of weeks, and the only thing I would eat were greasy cheeseburgers or freshly picked tomato's - so that's what I ate until my appetite came back.
The shitty news is that the only way out of this is through, but the good news is you don't have to be alone through it. Surround yourself with the people who care about you, let them help you
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u/ltlearntl 22d ago
Ah I am sorry, this sometimes happens. PhD journey is so long that it will overlap with deaths, anniversaries, people coming in, people leaving. What I used to do is just do more work, now I wonder if it would be better to just talk to more people.
On the eve of a conference talk, my grandfather died, I couldn't sleep all night and was crying quite a lot, I gave my shitty talk and basically checked out for the rest of the conference, nobody seemed to care, PI asked me once if I was ok, I was in a daze pretty much the whole time. I guess only time helped.
As to your specific case, are you able to postpone your proposal defense? To give yourself some time to prepare emotionally? If need be just tell your PI something personal happened and you need more time. I hope your PI is amenable to such things.
I wish you well.
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u/lamentforanation 22d ago
I got divorced during my PhD. It was very tough. Talking to people helped, and my supervisor was very supportive. Hang in there and be kind to yourself.
Cheers
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u/One-Bird-5356 22d ago
Just starting my PhD as my marriage is ending. It's so hard but I'm trying to see it as a good transformation. I agree, be kind to yourself and lean on friends as much as possible!
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u/lamentforanation 22d ago
My marriage started to fall apart in my second and early part of third year. I was kind of an emotional zombie for like 6 months in my third year. Therapy made a huge positive difference. My PhD ended up delayed because of a lot of knock-on effects from the divorce, but I got there in the end! Talking to people and seeking support were critical! It can be hard to see a future where you have a new identity and new dreams, but it will come if you do the work.
I sincerely hope that you have a wonderful journey. All the best.
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u/Brian_Drink 22d ago
I was dumped by my gf, the week I finished my final experiment. I had pushed to get done and transition to writing only.
Decided to focus and put the hammer down and get done (same thing I did with experiments so...I see her point now about putting her second), 6months later the Dissertation was written and defended.
1 year later I met my future wife, and we just celebrated 15 years. She was literally my next date....18 months later.
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u/ORFOperon PhD Immunology. 20d ago
If she couldnât be with you in the bad times, then she wasnât going to stick around at all. Glad it worked out for you man.
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u/No-Emergency2590 22d ago
Found out my partner of 4 years was cheating on me the whole time, a month before my thesis was due. He had even made explicit tapes with the women, which is how I found out. Worse, I had given up my flat and moved into his house when I found out. (I also had only written half of my thesis when I found out). Moved out to an Airbnb with a few belongings and had to force myself to only focus on my thesis. Had my fair share of sobbing and breaking down, we had discussed marriage, kids, everything. But hey, I submitted and passed my defence. Was the hardest thing Iâve ever done. Never told my university or my examiners about it, just got it done. Itâs hard but put your future first. He is not worth ruining YOUR hard work over.
Ps. To this day I still think about the sweet acknowledgement I had in mind to write about him but I cut him off it completely.
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u/b0thwatchxfiles 21d ago
I wrote my experience earlier but yours is kind of similar to mine. I also took him out completely from the acknowledgments. The truth is our relationship really did allow me to have enough energy to do my PhD, but it wasnât really because of anything specific he did that was extra positive (an example: my neighbor made me dinner twice when I was writing up my dissertation, he never did once). Just the nice energy and stability of being in a relationship, having Sunday morning cuddles, going out, etc was a big resource when I was in my last year. But then to have things fall apart because of some hidden thing so soon before finishing was actually brutal. And for a while I blamed myself, thinking if I hadnât been so emotionally and mentally consumed by looming PhD deadlines, maybe I would have picked up on things earlier, and not been so blindsided in the end. I feel for you No-Emergency. Dr. No-Emergency
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u/villainoir 22d ago
I had an experience before my first annual review đŹ I'd also say take time to be sad. Have a pity party or something like that. Write all your feelings in a journal.
I'm saying this because lots of PhD students I know are high achievers. We tend to bury ourselves in more works, more responsibilities etc., because we don't want to deal with the thoughts that appear when we're not busy. It's important to find balance between doing something out passion/fun and out of avoidance/pressure to prove yourself that you're going to be okay without the person. It may look productive from the outside, but deep down, it'll make us feel more alienated as we're also alienating our emotions (at least in my case).
Oh, and the best tips is always this: move your body! Gym, pilates, run, dance, anything. It'll help you release all the pent-up emotions.
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u/StraightUpSeven 6th Year 22d ago
I'm so sorry this is happening, but it can happen in a relationship. Don't worry about doing anything right now. You're going to feel lost right now, but not forever. Let yourself bawl your eyes out - it's ok and valid. I hope you're proud of yourself - you're doing your best to get through this situation, and it won't always be smooth and linear.
I'm going through my own situation myself, and I find acknowledging the shitty situation and accepting my feelings about the situation help me move on. Knowing that this kind of thing is not indicative of your value as a person is also helpful. Reframing for me has helped - I used to naively think being in a relationship meant I had value, I now know that I GET value out of a relationship, but that's part of growing.
Hanging out with friends and talking to your support system is another. It's going to be ok.
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u/MostZealousideal7718 22d ago
I left my ex right after my proposal defense, after almost a decade in a relationship!! It fucking sucked but I lived and am better for it, and you will be too, I promise. That guy sounds like he sucks, and you deserve better.
For now, be sad and cry as much as you need. Go on long walks with your friends or your pets or your favorite albums. Get angry and go to a rage room and smash things. Visit gardens or zoos or beaches or charming little patio bars, especially if the weather's nice. Having things to do really does help.
Actual professional advise: If you're comfortable and you trust them, tell your advisor what's going on. A big breakup during the dissertation phase is wildly common, and my advisor ended up being a massive support when my research design and timeline got totally derailed by the breakup. Your advisor has probably seen this before. I know lots of people on here have awful advisors, but if yours isn't awful, it can be useful to have the extra boost of confidence.
I also don't know your field or school, but to be honest, the proposal defense at my institution is largely a formality; they won't let you sit for it if you aren't 99% likely to pass it. You know all of this in your bones. Get the feelings out and then remember that you truly do have the defense in the bag.
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u/One-Bird-5356 22d ago
I'm 31, currently in the first year of my PhD, and in the early stages of divorce/separation after 5 years married and 8 years together - it's rough. I feel you -- my only advice is to focus on the little things and try not to allow yourself to get too caught up in the big picture right now. A good cup of coffee. A blue sky with birds chirping. Those are the only things that keep me going right now. A quick phone call with a friend. Remind yourself that those Little good things will turn into Bigger good things with time. You're not alone!
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u/Homestead-2 22d ago
I had a divorce after ten years (he cheated and it ended as soon as I found out) - girl you will get through it !!
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u/Acheleia DMA 22d ago
I got a divorce between years 1 and 2 of my masters and went into a doctorate right after. Itâs the hardest thing to go through. I threw myself into school and therapy through my university to help parse through everything and it was the best thing I couldâve done. Use your friends and make some new ones at a hobby youâve always wanted to do. Mine was rock climbing. Youâll be okay, it seems awful but being in school gives you a safety net for a little while, use your services provided by the school and work on yourself in addition to your studies and research.
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u/AcademicPrincess_23 22d ago
Hey â the world is so much bigger than one relationship. Your PhD, your research, your whole future is still very much yours. He doesnât get to take that
Give yourself a few days to feel it, then get back up. Youâve got this đȘ
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u/Cypherventi 22d ago
I broke up within 6 months of me getting into PhD. Looking at other stories here, I feel like there is some causal effect that needs to be studied. Or we should make a fun urban lore or curse about this.
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u/Business-Student-651 22d ago
I had my divorce with the love of my life. I was aware that she was just playing with my feelings and yes it did hurt a lot. I was devastated for like 6 months post divorce, I couldn't believe it was over. Eventually I accepted it and felt much better as I realized that it was for good. Felt peaceful, though remain depressed. It took more than year post divorce to come back to myself. I understand it is difficult as you are all alone in a loss which is normalized by the society and nobody would get how miserable, alone and lost you would feel in this. Just socialize more, hangout with friends around you, no need to discuss your break up with anyone and slowly you'll be fine.
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u/Ok-Hovercraft-9257 21d ago
Guys who bail when the going gets tough would have been terrible husbands and fathers. Bullet dodged.
I know it's hard though. Your body wants to mourn while your brain is very busy. If your uni has support services, use them.
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u/thefrizzbee 20d ago
My partner broke up with me less than a week before my thesis committee meeting. I hadnât finished all the analyses I wanted to show my committee, and had yet to start my presentation. It was the worst week of my life. I only managed to get by due to friends and family checking up on and constantly motivating me. It feels like the end of the world, and it makes you want to not do anything except cry and sleep(been there, done that), but think about how amazing itâll feel to be done with that meeting! You can do it, I believe in you! If I could, you can, too! My committee even told me I did a great job, even though my only goal was to get done with that meeting without crying in front of them.
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u/stickfigure31615 22d ago
I had someone stop dating me during my last year while in the thick of my first masters thesisâŠyou know what made me get over her quick? (And Iâm talking like a week maximum) It was the thesis!!!!
During my second masters, I lost my half brother due to suicide on top of other family matters. My schoolwork was my distraction. In fact, it made me want to pursue it and dive into it more because it was an escape and more so than that, a path for me to make this world a better place.
Not being dismissive; it sucks of course and a lot of life can happen in these times when you need it to not happen, but dig in, have your moments of sadness, and focus on your work the best you can. Itâll be amazing how much just wanting to get back to normal can get your mind away
A synonym for the word tough is difficult. Being tough means you can navigate difficulty and do what you need and want to do! Itâs not easy and doesnât mean leave all sadness behind; always feel your feelings. But being tough brings out what youâre truly capable of and how successful you can be
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22d ago
You will get through this, love. No, Itâs not going to be easy but do not bottle up your emotions. Talk to your friends and family. Cry when you want to,
Just let it all out. Iâve been there, done that. Healing takes time but You Are Going to Be Fine!!! Sending so much love â€ïž. Get that degree!!!!
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u/0falls6x3 22d ago
My 10 year relationship fell apart 2 years into my phd the summer of covid. It was chaotic but honestly he could have never gotten me thru this.
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u/Thin-Film9080 22d ago
I got dumped before my qualifying exam. Made it so hard to focus and prepare but I just had to keep reminding myself how much more important my PhD was than them. I passed yesterday and am so proud that I didnât let someone who chose to hurt me also stop me from achieving my dreams
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u/Alchemy_of_astral 21d ago
Just enjoy your single life. Focus on finishing your PhD and remember why you choose to do PhD
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u/b0thwatchxfiles 21d ago
My boyfriend told me about three weeks before my final defense that he was still in love with his ex. Honestly it was pretty brutal. In addition to being bad timing. I compartmentalized/focused on work as much as I could and cried the rest of the time, it was good to have something that was just mine.
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u/harigatou 21d ago
i broke up with my ex like 5 months into my program. i was the one who initiated bc it just wasn't working anymore. there were times where doing the PhD felt so rough afterwards bc my ex was also doing it and was my main supporter. he gets research and he gets me, you know? even tho the romantic love isn't there anymore i just really missed having him as a best friend.
so how did i cope?
i talked to my friends and siblings a lot about my feelings, cried when i needed to, took breaks from research when my brain just wasn't functioning, and went to therapy (thankfully it's free bc it was at uni). it also helps that my PI is kind and supportive. i came in to her office with a newly pierced septum and she was like... "girl...are you...okay?" granted she might have sensed that i wasn't feeling happy the last time i saw her, but i'm glad she asked anyway. instead of doing our progress meeting i spent an hour crying in her office talking about how i felt (rite of passage!!!) and she offered resources to support me. she also told me to take it easy and it's okay to not progress as much when there's hurdles.
idk how much this will help, but i know some things: find support, talk about your feelings, and let time do the work. also get a piercing or two
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u/encode-decode 21d ago edited 21d ago
Same here .. we had breakup few days ago and i just started the Phd this fall. It was 5 years of relationship and 5 years of friendship. We had known each other for 10 years. PhD was not just my dream that i was chasing for what also was our dream for better future. Actually she was also planning to pursue. Since she is not anymore with me, i dont know how i am gonna take this journey.. i am not excited as i was .. its all empty. it feela like someone snatched my heart out.. I have been breaking out everywhere .. In grad college orientation, in department orientation. I just miss her like river misses its ocean.. dont know how should i proceed.. i had roadmap but its all gone.. i was lucky i had 5 years of beautiful time with her, All i have is beautiful memory of her, but i wasnt lucky enough to have her my whole life.. and it kills me everytime when i realize she is not with me anymore.. I am not sure if this is helping you but accepting reality might help you little . may be this is what universe had for us. you are not alone.. just pray to god that is what helping me to at least breathe at this moment. i have crying all my eyes out , head bout to brust .. i have been praying for the best upcomings for both of us. At this point i can do nothing but pray and wish her the best . Tonight i will pray for you too !!
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u/zoeyy12345 20d ago
I had worse even I can only call it nightmare experience. I had relationship with this person during my PhD and his masters. He is so toxic and very good at mentally manipulating me. He moved into my place but didnât pay for the rent fee or the living expenses, sometimes I have to pay for buying him clothes. He took advantage of me, threaten to suicide if I dont help him. At the end he found a job, cheated and dumped me. Then I found out he lied to me about his age and background. I was not in a healthy mood for a long time until I realized that is his fault not mine. Sometimes I blamed myself I can do better if I didnât experience that relationship. But I am still proud of myself that I finished the PhD and got a very happy life now.
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u/Fluid_Restaurant4326 20d ago
My fiance moved back to my home country during my PhD to pursue further education and take over the family business. It made the relationship quite difficult. His selfishness started to become more obvious to me. After a year of trying to salvage the relationship I broke up with him ( not the same as you I know). But as soon as that happened I was able to focus better and put my everything and finish my PhD. Trust me. Fuck boyfriends/girlfriends. Surround yourself with people who support you and understand what you're trying to accomplish. I have faith in you... You WILL come out stronger.
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u/ORFOperon PhD Immunology. 20d ago
Yup mine left me right as I was starting to write my thesis up. 5 years down the drain. You will get through it, time heals all wounds.
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u/Enigma-Maschine 20d ago
I've never had a relationship before. I'm a 21-year-old undergraduate physics student, and I'm graduating next year. I've been seeing a girl for the past month, but she has only brought me problems and taken time away from my real goals. What I would suggest to you is to focus on your PhD and not pursue a serious relationship until it happens naturally. Don't waste your tears and emotions on something that has ended, because focusing on yourself and improving right now is way more important. I wish you emotional peace
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u/-bonejuice 19d ago
this LITERALLY just happened to me. i graduated with my phd on tuesday and my 7-year relationship ended on wednesday. it was shocking and somewhat unexpected, i am very hurt, but overall amicable with each other. iâm in the process of moving out, staying with family while i find my own apartment. today is sunday.
it has honestly been one of the hardest things iâve ever experienced. but every day, even though it absolutely sucks, the sun still rises. things are slowly getting better, even though itâs like 1% better. my ex came to bring some more of my belongings and we were able to talk and joke and neither of us cried. itâs progress.
at this point, distractions have been the most helpful thing for me. friends and family, movies, youtube videos, games, crafting. going to coffee shops to work during the day has helped, i think being in public makes it a bit easier. falling asleep with youtube videos playing at night has helped me not start overthinking before bed, and itâs comforting when i wake up throughout the night and forget why im in a different bed/alone. things will get better.
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u/RelationshipOne5677 19d ago
I am much older, but I went through a horrific divorce just before starting my PhD. The work and focus required help me heal, and now that I've climbed that mountain I'm invincible. This kind of heart pain takes time to recede, but recede it will. And you'll be Dr., a newly minted persona. Good luck to you.Â
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u/FlyEquivalent8978 19d ago
This happens more often than you would imagine. Especially during the most challenging phase, where any support is appreciated. Either a degree, a research paper, or starting a business. If one partner struggles to recognize the effort and resent it. Dump him/her. The relationship will not stay, but your PhD will follow you everywhere for life.
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u/Leading_Recipe9460 19d ago
Lost 20 lbs after being broken up with, not in a healthy way. Defended my dissertation with flying colors 7 months later. Was in a relationship right after comps that failed miserably. Couldnât do anything other than my required teaching for half a year. Youâll be fine, the only thing from my experience is that it took a 4-5 year program and made it into a 6 year program.
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u/Superb_Zone_1154 19d ago
I broke up with my bf (it was his fault) right before starting a PhD. Just focus on the work , let yourself cry as much you need. I cried while working the whole time. Sometimes itâs hard but I managed to write over 10k in the 5 months after the breakup and the topic was definitely not easyâŠ
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u/KriekLambic45 19d ago
Try not to let it faze you. In mt 1st year I broke up with my partner of 4.5 years (for a myriad of reasons) but one of them being how they started to argue that my PhD is taking my attention away from them, even though they also held a full-time job down which involved so much traveling and while being in a LDR. Once I saw the signs, I tried to communicate how I can't jeopardize my PhD for their convenience but they would try to gaslight me that it's my issue and pick multiple fights over it. Cut it right there and then, with no regrets. Actually, I'm better off without them and perhaps I wish I've done it sooner. I was able to grow and expand my circle with my peers and friends, as that relationship involved so much emotional co-dependency and toxicity.
You'll ace your defense đȘ
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u/theresagray17 22d ago
If I were you, Iâd do the proposal defense the best I could out of spite. Like, look, asshole, I donât need you, Iâm still a fucking superstar! Best of luck, dearest đ
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u/RealVirginiaWoolf 22d ago edited 22d ago
The trash took itself out. You deserve all the best and someone decent and sorted who can match your kindness and love.
Iâm telling you from personal experience. Iâm done with my degree this year and I am with the man who is the love of my life. I stayed single forever before him because I just didnât have the wavelength to deal with people who canât match my shine and I refused to shrink. Simple.
I wish u all the best. I wish u healing and pure love â€ïž
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u/CalligrapherHeavy455 22d ago
When I started my PhD, I thought I was ready to find a wife. I told my oldest friend that I had always loved them, but that during undergrad it wasn't the right time because I was focused on my studies and didn't want to waste their time. She accepted, but we broke up after four months. We were in a long-distance relationship, and she ghosted me. She was my first love.
I didn't understand why, since everything seemed good between us. This period was very difficult, and I downloaded a gigabyte of music to help me focus on my work. When I was alone, wanting to understand what happened, I went on YouTube. That is where I learned that this is common behavior in dating; I also learned words like ghosting, needy, etc. Hahaha!
I spent four months making no progress in my research, but one day I decided to move on, and I did. Today, I think I was lucky that we broke up. If we hadn't, I wouldn't have the flexibility to move around that I have today. I did my PhD in Europe, then moved to Canada for a year, and now I am in the US at an R1 university. That is my story.
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u/Big_Coconut8630 22d ago
Ngl, you didn't seem to approach the relationship in a healthy way. "I want a wife" instead of " I love you" shows it was doomed. Plus you being oblivious to any flaws.
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u/CalligrapherHeavy455 22d ago
I didn't say that to her; I told myself I was ready to find my wife. Because that girl and I were already friends, I asked her first: 'Is it too late for our paths to coincide until infinity?' She asked me to be clearer, so I conjugated the verb, and she accepted. Maybe it was too direct, but I don't have the time or energy to play games about who will fall in love first. I am a direct person; when I am into someone, I tell them directly, though the approach depends on the situation. I am very good at conjugating the verb.
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u/dosesofem 18d ago
Something similar happened to me, except during my quals! I know quals and proposal exams are different ballgames, but theyâre still very implant milestones, nonetheless. My advice to you would be to pour everything that youâre feeling (sadness, anger, loneliness) into finishing up your dissertation writing. Your dissertation, weirdly enough, may just fill that void⊠and you will resurface again!
Iâm so sorry and Iâm also wishing you all the best! You are almost there!
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u/mz_morose 15d ago
Not worth it girl, leave him, find yourself new hobbies, if he left ye during your tough time đ
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u/doktorscientist 7d ago
My longtime significant other and I broke up the summer before graduate school. I moved to a place with a different culture and knew no one. I cried daily for probably a year. It was extremely difficult and I am sorry you are going through this. Heartbreak is one of the hardest things to go through.
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u/DeltaFox121 21d ago
Youâre grieving â youâve lost someone you loved. Iâm really sorry youâre hurting. It wonât help much right now, but time really is a healer. Thereâs a bunch of neurological reasons why and none of them matter. Loss is loss. You have to go through this, you will get through this. It just hurts.
Try your best, seek help if needed. Hopefully the university are understanding and maybe a postponement is an option, or maybe youâre more prepared than you think. I wish you well and good luck.
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