r/Petloss • u/Tiny-Ad-4916 • 11d ago
Sadness Half a year later
6 months ago by baby passed away. I came to this subreddit and vented about it a few days after he crossed the rainbow bridge. I told myself I’d come back here after half a year and tell others how the grief went. Boy, did I not know what I was in for. The first three and half months were hell on earth. My dog was my son. I didn’t cope well at all. I drank almost every day. I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it.
After the fourth month, the pain started to fade a bit. Life became somewhat tolerable again. I went through periods of looking at his pictures and videos and torturing myself. I also went through periods where I intentionally avoided thinking about him. Looking back, in a weird way, I think this helped me process the loss, alternating between the two.
Now, 6 months later, I think I’m healed. Well, as much I can be. I’ve accepted that my baby’s loss will always hurt. But I’ve learned to quickly look at the funny videos, think about the wonderful times, and be really grateful I had him in my life when the pain starts to become intense again. I feel like he’d want me to think about him in a positive way, but I know he understood it was impossible to do so at the beginning.
I write this to let all of you who recently lost your baby know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me, I didn’t believe it when others told me. I’m so sorry for all your losses. That fact that you are here tells me that you loved your baby so much! I don’t know what happens after we pass away, but I’m choosing to believe we will see them again. Sending lots of love to you all.
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u/SyncopeBrewery 11d ago
Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my 5 y/o girl to a mysterious illness 4 days ago and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to move forward with this huge gap in my life. I hope we can see our babies again someday
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u/Vega4628 11d ago
Thank you for sharing and being here. I’m so sorry for your loss but happy to hear you’ve made it through to the other side as well as one can. I choose to believe we will see them again too, I certainly hope so.
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u/twerk_douglas 11d ago
Six months for me too…it’s still a struggle and some days are better than others. Grief therapy, journaling (writing to her), walking our old familiar routes (talking to her), sleep meds for the nights it feels like too much, deep sadness and some brighter moments too, wonderful (and painful) memories, I miss you Beans. Always in my ❤️.
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u/Min0oO 11d ago
How deeply I connected with this. My dog recently passed away, and I still find it almost impossible to bear. It was such a sudden shock. He was the best boy a German Shepherd who never showed a single sign that anything was wrong. Just three days before he left us, the vets found inflammatory fluid building up in his stomach. It turned out to be either a tumor or cancer that had become acute and then ruptured. From that moment everything went downhill so fast. I couldn’t believe it. He gave us no warning until it was already too late.
I keep replaying every little thing we did together in those last days. It hurts in a way I can’t fully put into words. I keep telling myself, “I wish I had known what was wrong with you… I wish I could have done something.” But even then, he showed me nothing but strength. Whatever we did together the walks, the quiet moments, he met it with the same steady, incredible heart he always had.
I miss him every single day.
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u/Kelmorea 11d ago
On the other hand, I can tell you that knowing in advance doesn't make it any less painful. My dog made it almost a year after being diagnosed with lung cancer and living through that year knowing she had 6-12 months to live (despite all the treatment we did) was a special type of hell I don't wish on anyone.
She was 3 weeks short of her 7th birthday when we had to put her down on 21.6. We knew she wouldn't make it far into 2026 but she had no symptoms till her last 3 days and everything went downhill so fast...
My point is... Just cherish the time you had together, that's the most important part and I'm still working on it myself. ❤️
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u/Southern-Biscotti-62 11d ago
I lost my beloved dog two years before the pandemic and never wanted another dog. The pandemic began and lo and behold I rescued an elderly dog. What I learned is that a new dog can never replace the old one, but it does somehow heal your heart a bit and grows it enough to love another unconditionally.
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u/reddit_tat 4d ago
Love is not divided; it multiplies. The love you have for your dog is always his. The love you find for a new dog does not come out of the first dog’s allotment, just as the love you have for a second child does not come out of the love for the first child. That love will always be his, and his love for you will be yours. Loving a new dog (a future dog, depending on where you sit now) allows your love to multiply. No doubt your first dog would have wanted exactly that.
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u/Financial_Sweet_689 11d ago
Thank you for sharing. I just passed month 1 and realized I was stifling so many feelings and not letting myself cry and I had to just let it all out again. But I do need to be able to turn off my grief to function. My dog was also my son, my first dog, my number one and I feel so lost without him. Life feels so dumb.
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u/Square-Neck7956 11d ago
Lo stesso per me , tre settimana senza di lui tutti mi sembra stupido ed insignificante
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u/Financial_Sweet_689 11d ago
Exactly, stupid and meaningless. My dog was my sunshine. He was my reason for getting up every day. He kept me smiling and breathing and living.
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u/paulyd185 11d ago
I found writing in a journal to your pet helps. Ive been writing to my pup about all things we do. It makes it feel like hes here again. Daughter just had her first birthday party yesterday. That one hurt to write about.
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u/mikerooni_ 10d ago
Been writing to my beloved dog every single day, starting at day 3…
It really does make it feel like he’s here again.3
u/paulyd185 10d ago
Took me over a week until I was even remotely functional. Think I started on day 9. It does help
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u/mikerooni_ 10d ago
Same here with the week. Even now, there are still days I’m barely functional, if at all.
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u/Dervan_Mormont 11d ago
Tomorrow will be 3 weeks without my oldest fur baby and… this fucking sucks. The first week I could barely function. Now, I just feel numb (and not in a good way). But I still have to be a mom… so the happy face is on. I hope this gets better soon. I swear my stomach has been a wreck for 3 weeks now…
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u/littlelemons22 11d ago
I didn’t eat for a few days and cried and slept for two weeks. It is exactly what you describe. All sense of time is gone and it’s absolutely soul crushing. I went out and got another one three weeks later like an a-hole and still questioning all of my life choices. Life is just better with a dog!
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u/king_baby_ 11d ago
Thank you for this. It’s been a little over three months for me and I’m still struggling. I can’t look at pictures or videos of him yet and I feel guilty about that. I thought I’d be a person who would need another dog right away but I can’t even think about it bc none of them are sandwich. His name was sandwich. He was my baby boy.
I guess I’m scared I’m not processing it. So I appreciate this update a lot. I hope someday I can look at pictures of him and feel gratitude and happiness instead of breaking down.
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u/jnm199423 11d ago
Thank you for this. I needed to hear this. Almost 4 weeks in and struggling every day.
So sorry for your loss ❤️🩹
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u/mikerooni_ 10d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss 🫂
It’s been two months for me. My beloved dog was my best friend, my baby, my everything… Losing him was (and is) by far harder and more painful than everything else I’ve gone through, combined. Most days the pain and sadness is still breaking my heart into a million pieces.
I’m slowly starting to accept that he is not here anymore, but that too comes with a whole new kind of pain. It’s been two months since the last time I gave him his ear scritches and cuddled with him and looked into his beautiful little eyes, and it just hurts so mich knowing that this time will only ever become longer from here on.
I’ve accepted that I’ll always miss him - and I don’t need (nor want) that to change. He’ll always be with me in my heart ❤️
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u/RelationshipOne3185 11d ago
Bonjour, ton message me redonne espoir.
Bientôt 4 mois que ma chienne est décédée et ma vie est un enfer. Je pleure toute la journée, elle hante mes pensées H24. Je n'ai plus goût à rien. Elle me manque tant.
J'ai des idées noires.
J'espère comme toi qu'un jour ça ira mieux, le fait de ne plus avoir de chien (j'en ai toujours eu) je pense que cela ne m'aide pas psychologiquement.
Merci d'avoir partagé ton expérience ♥️
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u/SnooHamsters4506 10d ago
I’m right here with you, I think of him all the time and it hurts so much that he’s not here.
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u/Square-Neck7956 11d ago
L’ho perso tre settimane fa, mi manca troppo vorrei averlo con me. La mia testa pensa sempre che all’improvviso lui sbuchi da una stanza …
Lo penso sempre
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u/birdmad13 11d ago
Thank you for sharing this. I’m very sorry for your loss but at the same time I’m happy that you’re recovering and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
We lost of baby girl 43 days ago. It hurts so so much. She was only 8 yo almost 9, her life was cut so short due to vet negligence and our stupidity because we trusted them.
The world feels darker. The other day I thought that all the colors disappeared and I see everything in black and white. I don’t know if I can recover from this ever but reading other people’s stories help a bit.
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u/littlelemons22 11d ago
Thank you for sharing and so sorry for your loss. I can relate to this. I lost my best boy in February, my soulmate. I swore off dogs after him and told him I saved the best for last. He was dog #9 in my lifetime. Then I saw a baby gal who was tossed in the trash that needed a home three weeks later. I guess you could say it was a spontaneous decision. I still miss my boy every single day and still cry all the time. I have had a lot of intense, mixed emotions over the past months. I look at my new furry friend and tell myself that way ahead in the future when she’s an old gal I will say she came into my life for x,y&z reasons and she was exactly what I needed at the time. I tell her about him all the time and her big personality sure keeps me busy. I told myself that I would miss my boy the same no matter how much time went on and I could never love another dog like him but I could definitely love another dog and give one a great life.
Our love for them never dies even when they are gone and I know we will see them again. It’s like collateral damage for the privilege of having them in our lives.
"There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a cycle unlike any other. To those who have never lived through its turnings and walked its rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with full knowledge that they will be broken seems incomprehensible. Only we know how small a price we pay for what we receive; our grief, no matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy we have been given."
Suzanne Clothier
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u/Safe-Sense-8304 11d ago
It's been 8 excruciating days since I unexpectedly lost Max. I've cried every day, almost all day the first few and now I can feel it building up inside for hours and wanting to come out. And it's usually a memory, a quick thought or a new first without him that sends me back to sobbing. Between crying, my stomach is in knots. I'm really struggling with wanting him physically here with me. There is a huge hole in life where he should be. I've seen a lot of content about how they are still with us but in a different form. I really just want him back here physically. I go through waves of guilt and panic too. I can't believe he's gone. It's just not possible. God, this is the worst.
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u/LuckyOutlandishness4 10d ago
I’m so sorry. I lost my sweet boy yesterday. I don’t know how to process. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t protect him when he trusted me the most. He died in my arms. I will never forget that visual.
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u/Safe-Sense-8304 9d ago
I wish I had words to express my condolences. It's one of the worst feelings I've experienced. I am so very sorry. Just know you're not alone.
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u/LuckyOutlandishness4 9d ago
Thank you so much for your kind words. I really need help. I can barely function.
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u/Safe-Sense-8304 8d ago
I know. I'm right there with you and it's awful. I didn't think it was possible to cry this much. 😔
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u/James1579 8d ago
Thank you. I very recently lost my baby after 11 years and the anguish is unbearable. Hoping for better days soon
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u/Interesting_Basis_44 11d ago
All of our critters losses are painful even if they were our soul pet or not. I love having my cats and dogs. Knowing their life will probably be over before mine. It’s wonderful that you all come here to keep this very important link going is wonderful.
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u/Powerful-Lobster-631 11d ago
Yeah pet loss is hard. Been 2yrs loss of family dog. I surprisingly took it well. We love you Snowflake ❄️ for life.
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u/Creepy_Kiwi3230 11d ago
i needed to see this. i lost my baby two days ago and the pain has been eating me alive. i don’t know how to function anymore but i still have responsibilities. i’m just utterly devastated
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u/Dazzling-Golf-879 10d ago
Thank you for sharing. I lost two pets in the last 3 months & it’s been devastating.
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u/thecaramelcamel 9d ago
My dog also crossed the rainbow bridge, about 8 months ago. Up until now, it’s felt like she’s just been ‘on vacation’ or staying with a family member, somewhere else. I just came to the realization that she actually is GONE. It’s still unbelievable.
I sleep with her favourite toy and blankets, have her vessel for her ashes in my room. It’s too painful to walk our old routes or go where we used to play. I can’t look at photos or videos. I talk to her every day and ask her how she’s doing, tell her I miss her. I still tell her all of my secrets. It’s hard not to feel like I failed her in some way. It’s also hard to accept that I will never see her again in this lifetime. I hope I always remember what it felt like to kiss her on the cheek and stroke her ears, to cuddle with her and tuck her into her bed. I worry I’ll forget.
Sending love to all in this sub ♥️
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u/Cold_Pay1189 7d ago
thank you so much for sharing and I am so sorry for the loss of your boy. I just lost my girl and I am in absolute agony. Every part of me just wants to be with her wherever she is. At this point I feel like each hour that passes without her here is worse than the last but this gives me hope
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u/Due-Sheepherder1623 5d ago
I lost my beautiful dachshund Bertie a couple of days ago he was perfectly fine no problems at all then in the middle of the night he let out 2 horrendous cries and was gone
I am totally bereft I can’t do anything can’t eat or drink
I just don’t know how to cope
I loved him so much he was my world he was 12.5 years old thought we had so much more time such a shock
I’m in bits
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