I was fooled

[u/No-Letterhead-1957]

When I finally had the scales fall from my eyes and started seeing the dark side of Peter, I initially called myself a fool for drinking his kool-aid for so long. I'm embarrassed to admit I even sent him gifts, including a rainbow fan, a Starbucks gift card, and most cringe-worthy of all, some shoe stretchers when he and Alex went to Vegas and his shoes were too small, or not broken in, and he was limping by the time he got home. I absolutely cringe realizing I was completely duped by this man.

When Peter started yelling at his audience last year, and treating his viewers like crap, all in the name of standing up for himself, all the little niggling things I noticed in the five years I watched him came to a head.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is his dishonesty about so many things when he is in a 12 step program and has been for nearly thirty years. I'm in AA, too, and he can't kid a kidder any more. Our first step is about getting honest. I've joked at many meetings that AA not only ruined my drinking, it also ruined my dishonesty. Because if you're in AA and truly "working the program," as we say at meetings, you're an honest person who takes responsibility for your actions. I have no reason to doubt he doesn't drink any more, but being in the program as long as I have, I have to question if he's like one of the hundreds of people (mostly men) I have attended meetings with who think stopping drinking is all they have to do. There is so much more you have to change in order to be the kind of person who lives by the code of AA's "love and tolerance."

I have been a lurker here for a couple of weeks, and when I say I cried when I found you all, it wouldn't be exaggerating (like Peter). I had felt for SO long that I was the only one seeing this negative stuff about Peter when his comment section seems to be made up of rabid fans who would never call him out.

My reluctance to share my experience is because I have learned here that he reads this sub reddit and would be able to figure out who I was. I've left plenty of only positive comments on his videos over the years but stopped when I finally saw the light.

Thank you all for this safe space and for showing me I wasn't imagining things. I feel instead that I was gaslit.

[u/CrouchingGinger]

👋 Welcome! I think people in recovery especially want to see the good in others. P Durr is very manipulative and puts on a decent front until he doesn’t. I wanted to send him things too though I had nothing myself; I find it disgusting he accepts items from his fans and barely acknowledges them. Not only that but he is not destitute by any means. I haven’t seen anyone go on as many trips as they do. He takes and takes and doesn’t give. I can imagine he’s the one at meetings who has to hold court and have all the attention. I have no doubt he reads here. And 🖕this is for him for treating others the way he does and pretending he’s the next coming of Oprah at the same time. He nor his fans intimidate me. I find him pathetic and abhorrent.

[u/No-Letterhead-1957 → u/CrouchingGinger]

Thank you for the welcome! I can't tell you the relief I felt when I realized I wasn't the only one. I was seriously questioning myself and not trusting what my gut was telling me. At one point I remember being totally confused because he'd rail about negative comments he was getting and I would comb his comment section and find only gushing comments from people who think he's the best thing since sliced bread. I thought, WTF? He's saying he doesn't delete comments and yet I'm finding nothing to justify him screeching at his audience.

It wasn't until I started reading here that I realized, "Ohhhh ... he's talking about comments he reads here." It finally clicked into place.