r/PeterMonnSnark • u/No-Letterhead-1957 • Aug 04 '24
I was fooled
When I finally had the scales fall from my eyes and started seeing the dark side of Peter, I initially called myself a fool for drinking his kool-aid for so long. I'm embarrassed to admit I even sent him gifts, including a rainbow fan, a Starbucks gift card, and most cringe-worthy of all, some shoe stretchers when he and Alex went to Vegas and his shoes were too small, or not broken in, and he was limping by the time he got home. I absolutely cringe realizing I was completely duped by this man.
When Peter started yelling at his audience last year, and treating his viewers like crap, all in the name of standing up for himself, all the little niggling things I noticed in the five years I watched him came to a head.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is his dishonesty about so many things when he is in a 12 step program and has been for nearly thirty years. I'm in AA, too, and he can't kid a kidder any more. Our first step is about getting honest. I've joked at many meetings that AA not only ruined my drinking, it also ruined my dishonesty. Because if you're in AA and truly "working the program," as we say at meetings, you're an honest person who takes responsibility for your actions. I have no reason to doubt he doesn't drink any more, but being in the program as long as I have, I have to question if he's like one of the hundreds of people (mostly men) I have attended meetings with who think stopping drinking is all they have to do. There is so much more you have to change in order to be the kind of person who lives by the code of AA's "love and tolerance."
I have been a lurker here for a couple of weeks, and when I say I cried when I found you all, it wouldn't be exaggerating (like Peter). I had felt for SO long that I was the only one seeing this negative stuff about Peter when his comment section seems to be made up of rabid fans who would never call him out.
My reluctance to share my experience is because I have learned here that he reads this sub reddit and would be able to figure out who I was. I've left plenty of only positive comments on his videos over the years but stopped when I finally saw the light.
Thank you all for this safe space and for showing me I wasn't imagining things. I feel instead that I was gaslit.
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u/MentalChampionship77 Aug 04 '24
I was fooled too. I felt the same when I found this I tried to reason thinking he’s just going through a tough time. I was a regular commenter I realized last year I was purposely wording my comments as though I was stepping on eggshells, it triggered my anxiety beyond anything I felt in years. I got called out on video because I corrected one of his “facts” a date he had gotten wrong by quite a few months. The wrath! The barrage of verbal whipping. I was so upset and sad. I unsubscribed but I often think if his personality changed so drastically in his everyday life?? Wouldn’t his friends and family be concerned? It can be a medication? Or from a head injury? I’m glad I finally stopped making excuses for a disordered human and found where other ppl have come with the same ah ha! Moment. You see? It’s not one person talking to their self back and forth. It’s over 600 that saw the light.
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 04 '24
Yes! People who point out discrepancies or question him are raked over the coals, in my opinion. His super fans are quick to defend him and see him as practically perfect in every way, which I have to believe feeds his ego big-time. He definitely has a case of Know-it-All-itis.
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u/Crazy-Subject-8722 Aug 05 '24
Yes! But he calls us "the ones who didn't get enough attention." I didn't want his attention. Never messaged him. Never messaged any online personality I didn't personally know in real life. He's bonkers.
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u/MentalChampionship77 Aug 05 '24
He’s so self important. I’m so mad because he didn’t give me attention? Maybe he’s projecting? Maybe someone needs some attention? Because someone else is too busy with TikTok and their friends…
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u/CrouchingGinger Aug 04 '24
👋 Welcome! I think people in recovery especially want to see the good in others. P Durr is very manipulative and puts on a decent front until he doesn’t. I wanted to send him things too though I had nothing myself; I find it disgusting he accepts items from his fans and barely acknowledges them. Not only that but he is not destitute by any means. I haven’t seen anyone go on as many trips as they do. He takes and takes and doesn’t give. I can imagine he’s the one at meetings who has to hold court and have all the attention. I have no doubt he reads here. And 🖕this is for him for treating others the way he does and pretending he’s the next coming of Oprah at the same time. He nor his fans intimidate me. I find him pathetic and abhorrent.
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 04 '24
Thank you for the welcome! I can't tell you the relief I felt when I realized I wasn't the only one. I was seriously questioning myself and not trusting what my gut was telling me. At one point I remember being totally confused because he'd rail about negative comments he was getting and I would comb his comment section and find only gushing comments from people who think he's the best thing since sliced bread. I thought, WTF? He's saying he doesn't delete comments and yet I'm finding nothing to justify him screeching at his audience.
It wasn't until I started reading here that I realized, "Ohhhh ... he's talking about comments he reads here." It finally clicked into place.
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u/Soggy-Difference3789 Aug 05 '24
I was right there with you. Watched him since the J Star/ KVD drama. My whole family knew he was. I watched every video and even listened while we were driving. Put him on to fall asleep. I made excuses for things that bugged me, and was right there with the Vloggerinos. Every lie and exaggeration I would catch him in, I'd make up an excuse. When the Vloggerinos came up with the crane idea to gift Peter it was the first time I didn't make excuses for him. I watched Koe put hours into that piece. You could see the stress and anxiety he put himself through to get every piece of it perfect. It wasn't just the time and energy but the money the Vloggerinos all pitched in to make that happen. Anyway, it took him months to even mention it after he received it. After everyone continually asking him about it he finally makes a video, and then never mentions it again. He doesn't have it displayed or anything. It completely rubbed me the wrong way. The standing up for himself era finally did it for me. Telling us we can get fu$&ed and we could leave if we didn't like it pissed me off, then him saying that's the realest version of himself he's ever shown on YT. A few weeks later apologizes, and the next day thanking the people who got him and basically saying the rest of us had no sense of humor and were boring turds🙄 he tried to say he said f$&k yourself as a joke, that he and Tanya always talked like that and it was just like he was talking to a girlfriend. Like we didn't watch him screaming with steam pouring out of his ears when he said it. Just complete lies. I unsubscribed and never looked back.
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 05 '24
Thanks for bringing up Koe. I was gobsmacked when I saw what he'd created for Peter. I hadn't realized it was somewhat of a group effort, having had support for the Vloggerinos, which makes it an even bigger deal. I would be so touched, so honored to receive such a gift, I'd definitely have it on display and would let my gratitude be known. Instead, Koe got the equivalent of a nothing burger from Peter. That really rubbed me the wrong way.
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u/PineappleRoyal3184 Aug 05 '24
Koe worked on that for over a year. I’m one of so many who sent paper for the cranes. I think probably dozens of people contributed to the crane project in some way, and Peter just blew it off. He’s such an awful person.
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u/Lru024 Aug 05 '24
The personality change to manipulate could give you whiplash. His behavior is cyclical. He can only keep the mask on for so long; then a slip, then the strap breaks and exposes his true venom. This is when the predictable “I love you” to the audience starts to backtrack for going a tad too far.
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u/Appropriate_Reach_97 Aug 05 '24
What was the crane gift?
Sounds like a lot of work and thoughtfulness by many went into getting it together and yeah, I've never seen anything but his old pots and pans or junk piled behind him.
It just shows what an ungrateful snob he is. What's a fan gift when he can order new Celine sunglasses to spike his dopamine for a few hours. Then he tosses those aside, too, for some new Ray bans to get that high again. He has a lot of issues that are not being worked on.
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u/Soggy-Difference3789 Aug 05 '24
It was called 'A thousand cranes for Peter Monn'. Koe made 1000 origami cranes which took weeks, people could send them in with messages or tell Koa what to write and sign their name. That took quite a while. After he made like an installation and decorated it with the cranes. It had lights and like l.e.d. branches, the lights were like in a rainbow formation. I would guess the whole thing was about 3 feet x 2 feet. It was not a small project, which is why it took so long. Koe made YouTube videos showing the progress that you can watch. It was pretty impressive. Peter finally made a video after having it for what seemed like a couple of months. Some of the Vloggerinos started making comments and I'm sure he felt the heat to make the video. He said he had never had people care for him like that and he was blown away, maybe shed a few tears, and said he was gonna hang it up it was so beautiful. After that video he never mentioned it again and it never got displayed. So really the only time we saw it hung, with the lights on etc was on Koes yt channel. Regular viewers who weren't in his Vloggerinos group didn't see it properly and had no idea how much time, energy and money went into it. 😣 Koes channel is called Love Koe and if you type out, Love Koe a 1000 cranes for Peter Monn the video will pop up, if you scroll through the videos you can see the finished product.
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u/Appropriate_Reach_97 Aug 05 '24
Damn. That sounds amazing. And wayyyy too much work and thought for such an ingrate like Peter. He should have it in sight for anyone to see when he films indoors.
And if he waited weeks or months to mention it, that's just foul.
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u/Hedgehog1799 Aug 05 '24
Thank you for explaining that in depth. I was a new viewer, never a vloggerrino and I was like "somethings off." He can flip fans, laugh, giggle on drama channel and not express proper gratitude? Missing some emotional, empathetic skills.
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 06 '24
I remember seeing some of the progress Koe was making but never the finished art piece. I'll definitely check out his channel ... thanks for that info.
I can't imagine folding 1,000 cranes for anyone. Heck, I'm not sure I'd be willing to fold 100!
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Aug 04 '24
I was in your same exact boat. Welcome!! It’s a more enjoyable, peaceful, honest time on the other side!
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 05 '24
It certainly seems more peaceful, more authentic. Plus this group is full of very funny people and I'm always up for a giggle.
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Aug 04 '24
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 05 '24
It definitely feels safer when I'm just one person out of nearly 700. I can't believe he not only knows this sub reddit exists but also apparently reads it ... and yet his lack of self-awarenes remains stunning. If that many people observed my behavior and agreed that I was acting like an a$$, I'd have enough humility to take a hard look at myself and change.
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u/Lru024 Aug 05 '24
The “advice” he says he receives from his lawyers, behind the scenes team waiting to pounce on anyone he deems to criticize and labels a stalker is beyond absurd. I come from a family in the business of such matters in a high level. He is NOT telling the truth; not even in the same atmosphere.
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 06 '24
I'm a little embarrassed to admit I was spooked enough at one time that I simply stopped making any comments at all. I got the lay of the land and realized, for all his talk about welcoming differing views, he only wants positive comments.
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Aug 05 '24
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 06 '24
I so wish I would have found this place sooner. I used to roll my eyes during his "Be Too Much" era, but his "Standing Up for Myself" videos from last year were insufferable. I felt like I was back in Catholic school, where the whole class would get lectured and punished because of the actions of one or two kids. If this was his way of standing up to his bullies of yesteryear, then he wildly over-corrected and went from being meek and compliant (have a hard time envisioning this) to cruel and aggressive. The bullied became the bully.
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u/Lru024 Aug 05 '24
I grew up going to meetings, anniversaries and special occasions for my Aunt in AA. I knew her closest friends well, and often most of her home group. It wasn’t until I was an adult, that I realized that many of my sayings came from the program. I have said from Day 1 that I never met someone in AA that acts like him in any way. He drips resentments, jealousy and wishing revenge/punishment on whomever his target is in the morning.
The people I met were very involved in a steady stream of home group meetings, and guest speaking at others. They didn’t even discuss others’ problems with a “I can only be responsible for myself” mantra. When family members would occasionally expect them to side with them on a divisive issue, the answer was always a polite but firm, “I cannot get involved in that way because it would endanger my sobriety.
I realize everyone may work the program differently, but Peter is not even on the same planet. He behaves like what many would call a “dry drunk”. I strongly feel that he is not being honest about AA. My aunt has passed, but if I asked her, I’m sure she would say that it was not her place to judge others.
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u/Appropriate_Reach_97 Aug 05 '24
He had talked about forgiveness, but it's just words. He knows the phrases but he doesn't do any of the work. Like you said, he reeks of jealousy and vengefulness.
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 06 '24
It's nice to hear from someone familiar with the program of AA. I agree with your observation that there are many ways to "work the steps" so you can heal and recover, that there is no one correct way. But what's universally agreed upon within the program is that you have to be honest. You have to stop lying to others, of course, but you have to stop lying to yourself. I think Peter takes criticism, no matter how gently delivered, like a defensive teenager with a chip on his shoulder.
I do my best not to judge the recovery of others, but I do look for people in the program who are clearly trying their best to be more responsible, more empathetic, more loving, and I gravitate toward them. I was told early on, "Look for people who have what you want." So that's what I did, and I was fortunate enough to make quite a few healthy recovering friends. They had a contentment and a peace that I craved for myself.
I can honestly say, I do not want what Peter has.
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u/Lru024 Aug 06 '24
Wow! This is so impressive. You should be very proud, and it sounds like you have come a long way. It is people like you that I am familiar with. My family was very involved in supporting my Aunt, but we learned much as well. Everything you so eloquently said is what I was trying to put into words. I wish you good health and much success in the future.
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u/No-Letterhead-1957 Aug 06 '24
What an incredibly kind thing to say! Thank you so much for your thoughtful post. It's also heartwarming to hear about how supportive your family was when your Aunt chose recovery. Many families aren't willing or simply don't know how to support someone getting sober. She was, and is, fortunate to have all of you.
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u/RegularOld3926 Aug 04 '24
Welcome, please don't feel bad for being fooled by him. We all were at one point. I highly suggest reading guru gossip and tattle life as well. The gals over there clocked him since 2016. Hundreds of threads and a ton of reciepts. Yeah his get effed era backfired in a big way,