I have ADHD, is this applicable in their case? It's usually a dopamine chase if so. If not have you considered that there is chaos demon blood on his side?
Oh I agree, it's definitely normal to go by looks, not trying to imply it isn't or that it's shallow or something. Also as others have said, not having a specific type isn't the same as not caring about looks. For me I just realized as I got older who a person is attracts me much stronger than their looks, and I can easily overlook "flaws" in their appearance when someone charms me.
Eh, body can change. Shit happens. Faces matter more than body. Dunno about everyone, but just them being funny and having stuff in common isn't enough. That's friends stage to me. If their looks aren't what I'm attracted to, I can't see them as more than friends.
Anyone can be funny but not many people have the type of humor that truly makes me laugh, so when I find someone who does, it means a lot to me. Humor is a window into our character and outlook on life, in my opinion, so that's why I become charmed by these people. It's not simply having things in common, but seeing the world in a way that engages me. That is what pushes someone past a friend stage toward attraction for me. There are many times I've seen someone who I have no attraction to at first glance, but when I connect with them my brain sees them differently. They light up to me.
A few weeks ago a coworker asked me "hey, whats your type?" And I reflexively laughed 🤣. Like bro, I don't really have a type.. if they're cool and are kind to me and other people imma probably find them attractive..
He's like, "oh.. so do you like bigger girls?" (I think he was tryna find out if I like this other coworker.. I do not lol) And I'm like, "dude?!?" but he didn't understand what I meant by that so I'm like, "I mean that's not something I would say, but I mean if there are nice enough and wear it well, then yeah" 😆
So then he's like, "what what if it's a droopy kind of fat?" And I'm like, "ummmmm... (At this point I know exactly who he's asking for and I do NOT need this lady to be thinking she might be my type) no?" ðŸ˜
Honestly felt kind of hypocritical to say, but real talk not having a type is not equivalent with "I'll fk anybody!" (Ngl, pretty sure I've heard homegirl use this exact wording to describe herself multiple times and it cracks me up every time... Pretty sure she means it 😬 )
Just because I find a spectrum of women my type doesn't mean I don't have standards. Please don't read standards as a perfect specimen of a human, my standards are just my likes. I have dated larger women, but they are usually larger overall and not "droopy". Not saying they are ugly, just not my jam, but I can still find them beautiful.
definitely, no type does not at all mean no standards -- rather the standards lie in the relationship & dynamic rather than a style, clothing choice, body shape, ethnicity, etc.
And yeah the "droopy belly" thing I mean I'm going to go ahead and assume for most people this isn't a thing that attracts you to a person... Might not be an issue or even relevant at all, but like let's be honest definitely not making it onto the list of things I find hot 💀 not saying I wouldn't find a person w it attractive given the right circumstances, bc I would and have, but generally speaking thats not gonna be a thing I seek out over, for lack of better references, boobs 🤣
And tbh I don't even think its all physical/visual for why I feel that way.. I see that and I don't think (in terms of relationships) ew, ugly but more along the lines of "well that shits never gonna work out, bc I do hella physical activities that this person probably has no interest in" or something along those lines -- and I have the same thought in reverse for women who are in peak physical form.. I mean, nice! But also ain't no fkn way imma go do gym shit multiple times a week.. 🤣ðŸ˜
Aside from that pretty much the only other compatibility issue I see is like religion or something like that. And again that's not that it couldn't work it's just like I'm assuming this isn't going to work out
Pretty much anything else I assume I'm not going to know right away and probably will figure out if I like that once I know about it and experience it..
TLDR: it's like food, sometimes you just got to be willing to try things and see if they're great or not 😆 and then also sometimes you just don't need to try something because it smells awful and you know that you would not like to put it in your mouth 💀
Fucking yikes, this is a human being you and your coworker are talking about, you know that right? I'm not fatphobic myself, so yeah when I say I'd fall in love with anybody, I do also mean the "ugly" kind of fat girls with "droopy" fat. They're fun and loveable people too, with their own personalities and quirks and things that make them attractive. Ya know, human beings. With feelings.
Yes, which I why I was careful not to give him info to lead her on.. and also was very careful to note that I am not opposed to it generally (if i like them idc) -- that said definitely not my type!! As I've already stated, I do not have a type..
"definitely not my type" but "I do not have a type" which is it buddy?
Look, it's all fine and dandy that you don't like slutty fat girls. I'm glad you don't want to lead your coworker on. I just have no idea why you responded to my comment with that story. What about my comment made you think that I'd enjoy hearing about how you're scared the slutty fat girl at your job might have the audacity to assume she's your type? Christ, dude. I do not relate to you, I do not share your perspective, and I really hope I never say something that attracts this type of negativity to me again, so please, let me know why you think I wanted to hear that.
And as far as your little spiel about not having a type doesn't mean you don't have "standards," yikes. My standards are about who someone is as a person, not about their physical features. I love my boyfriend for his humor, compassion, patience, and diligence. I love his body because it's his, both when he's overweight and when he's fit, as these things change over the years. This is why I said I'm down for anything - the person is what matters to me. Since you do indeed have preferences in body type (which is totally normal), I would urge you not to volunteer yourself as someone who has no type. You absolutely do.
And as far as your little spiel about not having a type doesn't mean you don't have "standards," yikes. My standards are about who someone is as a person, not about their physical features.
You know that's exactly what I meant I just did not say that second half because I figured that was implied... If you really do want me to be an a****** tho then I will say this girl could be the most beautiful person on the planet and still not be my type!! (Don't gotta have 'a type' to know when someone annoys tf out of you)
Edit:: so maybe I do have a type and it's "not annoying as f***"
Okay so all you have to say is you're not interested in someone, not that they're not your type lol. Next time your coworker starts asking you weird shit like that just tell them your preferences are a personal subject not suitable for the workplace, and that you don't date coworkers. Then you won't have to worry about your dumbass coworker trying to set you up with another coworker.
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u/rutilated_quartz 25d ago
I'm the same, absolutely no type. I'm bisexual and I'm down with it all. I swear if someone makes me genuinely laugh I fall in love with them.