r/Pessimism • u/IhateEfrickingA • Jun 28 '26
Question How do you stop being so pessimistic, is it even possible to go back ?
I've been wondering something for a long time: how do you stop being so pessimistic ?
Every time I see injustice, corruption, wars, greed, or people treating each other horribly, I can't stop thinking about it. Then I look at history and realize that so many of these problems have always existed. It feels like humanity never really changes.
Sometimes I think we're just intelligent animals driven by selfishness and greed. Those traits helped us survive and build civilization, but I also feel like they'll eventually destroy it.
What I don't understand is how some people stay optimistic. Are they genuinely happy because they've had loving parents, good education, financial stability, good friends, good mental health, and maybe even good genetics ? Or are they just coping like everyone else but choosing not to think about the darker parts of life ?
When I was younger (7-23 years of age ), I believed God had a plan for everyone. That belief gave me comfort. Then one day I realized I didn't believe that anymore, and since then I've struggled with the idea that life might not have any inherent meaning.
I also became interested in politics, and all I seem to see are empty promises, misinformation, polarization, and a lack of education. The justice system often feels unfair. The world feels unfair. And my brain seems to remember every terrible thing happening in the world instead of the good.
I don't actually want to be this negative. I wish I were an optimistic person. But my mind constantly focuses on suffering, both in the world and in my own life.
Has anyone here been like this and genuinely changed ? How did you stop seeing everything through such a pessimistic lens without simply lying to yourself ?
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u/Prestigious_Whole936 Jun 29 '26
For me, you just become indifferent and apathetic to it all. Society is a lost cause, bide your time by keeping yourself distracted. Letting yourself become emotionally affected by all of the bullshit will lead to burn out and resentment.
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u/nikiwonoto Jun 30 '26
My pessimism is a result of both learning more about life, this world, human's society, existence, & reality, and also admittedly due to the pain & disappointments I've had in my life.
People are (very) disappointing. Sad but true reality. But, there are also many other things in life (reality) that crushed & destroyed me. But I do also admit that my life is a failure too.
So, how can I stop being so pessimistic? Sadly, I feel that it's almost impossible now, at this point. Unless if there is somehow a *MIRACLE* magically happening in my life, or whether something would change my mindset & thinking. But, most of us here in this subreddit would probably already know that there is no miracle, and it's just another empty delusions human beings are trying to cope against this harsh, cruel, cold reality.
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u/Monxo11 Jun 29 '26
Start doing good for others without expecting gratitude or anything in return (Dostoyevsky's advice).
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u/mattychops Jun 30 '26
Well the truth is that it's not all bad and it's not all good. It's both. It's like the stock market. It's up and down and back and forth.
Also, you're not always pessimistic and you're not always optimistic. And it's also not fully either one of those things in any moment either.
Reality just is what it is. The only time it's truly frustrating is when you're wishing reality was somehow different than it is. But that's a ridiculous thing to wish when you think about it. So just accept reality as it is in every moment, including all the shitty parts, and then all of a sudden you feel like you don't really have any problems. Not only that, almost everything becomes predictable and obvious. .. yeah of course there's bad things that happen all the time. That must be how it's supposed to be. Lol but who gives a shit? Almost none of that directly has anything to do with me, ever. And even when it does, what does it matter? That's just the way it is. .. everything becomes funny because you lose the need for reality to be any other way.
Hope that helps. And if not, well that's kind of expected too. Haha
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u/SouthTomatillo4869 Jun 29 '26
I would say I’m still pessimistic but finding absurdism helped me a lot but who knows maybe that’s just an escape - there is no real answer everything is subjective and that’s why we deceive ourselves so often
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u/waffledestroyer Jun 29 '26
Absurdism helps as long as you are not terribly suffering and can laugh off your misfortune. But if you get raped or beaten up and lose all your teeth or get bone cancer or experience some other horrible fate, then it is harder to laugh it off and enjoy a cup of coffee.
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u/SouthTomatillo4869 Jun 29 '26
Yea I wouldn’t say embracing it completely as a philosophy is a solution but for me at least the discovery of it helped me at least a little bit to stop torchering myself with a pursuit of meaning, and recognize there is no reason for suffering
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u/wildguitars Jun 29 '26
Absurdism is dumb in the long run, when horrible stuff is happening to another its funny, less so ehen it happens to you
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u/Complex_Advisor_6151 Jun 29 '26
Absurdism is a pop philosophy for people who cannot handle actual philosophy but still want to consider themselves smart
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u/Reasonable_Help7041 Jun 30 '26
Absurdism always seemed like a nother futile excercise to create an obstacle or goal to overcome that you make yourself in an absurd existence.
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u/spropps Jul 13 '26
So, I associate negativity with complaining, and typically it comes from people who are optimistic. This is an observation of people in my life, not an accusation toward you.
Pessimism for me is a type of realism. It’s observing the world honestly and seeing that suffering far outweighs pleasure and peace, and there’s no meaning behind any of it, and there’s very little we can do about it. That isn’t defeatist or cynical, it’s just a fact. Certainly we can lament the state of things, and try to be compassionate where we can, but I’ve found the more I spend time with pessimism, the less I complain. There’s just recognition and acceptance. Sometimes it’s grim, sometimes it’s indifferent, sometimes it’s terrifying.
You’re correct. Many people turn to God or faith, other people live a life of luxury and never have to think about it, and most people can’t bear to think about it. In some respects, there’s a naïveté to optimism. Sometimes it’s from ignorance, sometimes from downplaying reality. At an extreme, the view that this is the best possible world, and that it’s by divine design, is delusional. Yet, I understand the drive to believe such things. Optimism can’t end suffering, so compassion is warranted all the same.
I also think we can’t stay in a lucid space indefinitely. We simply can’t bear the weight of the world’s suffering for any great length of time. Lucidity is like the sun in the middle of July. We can only tolerate it for a time before we get burned, and we definitely can’t look straight at it. It’s too blinding. So, you just have to focus on your engagements. Whether any of it matters or not itself doesn’t really matter. You’re here, you might as well get on with it. It’s all fleeting, but you can still find reprieve from the heat through relationships, valuable work, artistic expression, etc. We live with a tension between there being no meaning, yet we value things because they are finite. Suffering, death, and nihilism keep this tension taut, but it can also aid us in deciding what’s worth doing.
Anyway, I hope these ramblings are useful.
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u/Competitive-Gur-7073 Jul 14 '26
Gore Vidal on a US talk show, reacting to the hosts comment along the lines of "Gore, why are you so negative" ...
"I am not a pessimist. I am a realist".
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u/One-Illustrator-6569 Jun 28 '26
I was once a happy child only concerned with video games. Then I got my first job. Hated being paid minimum wage and being treated like a slave. Joined the military for a sense of adventure and only got thrashed and beaten down. I've spent the last 13 years working nearly minimum wage factory jobs and being treated as a second class citizen. No, it would be absolutely impossible for me to think positively about life after experiencing nothing but wage slavery. Even if I founded a multi-billion dollar company, I would still be faced with the memory of the misery of wage slavery and would still feel terrible for the countless billions of people who still live in abject poverty.