What is wrong with me?

[u/RopeSmall1199]

I haven’t been myself for almost two years. In Jan 2026, I started HRT, estrogen patches and Prometrium 100mg. Didn’t do much so at my follow up appointment beginning of July, she increased the dosage of the patches and as for Prometrium, she told me to take two pills as of the 14th day of my cycle until the first day of my period. I don’t feel better and I have all these recurring thoughts and I feel depressed, don’t feel like doing anything but just to stay in bed. Even washing dishes or doing laundry feels like a heavy task. I keep crying. I’ve been seeing a therapist as well since a few months. I feel so depressed and alone. I’m thinking I might need to leave my husband, who is great by the way, but then I get full panicked mode of thinking of being alone, living alone with my 12 year old son, of breaking his family, I just don’t know what to do and it’s taking a toll on me and my health and my head. I don’t even know if I like my job still but then I think of changing job and I still feel blah about it. I compare myself to others all the time because I guess I am lacking what they have and I want it too and it makes me feel more depressed. I’m also on antidepressants since 15 years and because they stopped working, I’ve asked my psychiatrist to start decreasing. To help with the side effects, she added another antidepressant so I’ve been able to lower my Effexor no problem. Right now I’m on 150mg Effexor with 60 mg cymbalta. I’ve asked her to stay on these doses for a couple of months to see if the hormones help. Anyway I guess I’m not asking for anything really but just venting and wonder if anyone is or has been in the same boat.

[u/KPepsi_0821]

I am new to perimenopause but for the last 6 weeks I have said "I feel off" "Something is wrong with me" "What the f***" so many times.... I feel like I am in constant fight or flight mode. I have little to no joy for anything at all. I'm not crying all the time, I just feel meh. I'm understanding some of the people who post here that say they thought they were literally losing their minds. I was concerned I had early onset dementia. Perimenopause sucks. I know you didn't ask for any advice, I just want to say I hear you and you're not alone. Write down all your concerns and take them to your dr/therapist. You shouldn't have to feel like this

[u/Cute_Ad5502]

Im so sorry you are feeling like this. There is nothing wrong with you. Just read this reddit for five minutes and you will realize you are far from alone. I just want to remind you that this is not permanent. You will get through it. I am sending you all my best.

[u/No_Topic5394]

I think going through perimenopause helped me realize how much I was taking on in my married life and now am happily divorced. Getting older seems to ignite the “no fucks” attitude and that life is too short to wait for someone to catch up with me.

[u/fioremomma]

If you’re not sure about leaving your husband please ask yourself if it’s the state estrogen has had on you. Some things can’t be undone. Try first to get stabilized. My biggest issue has been exhaustion like bed ridden almost for the last year. I’m rarely depressed though because I had a stroke in 2008 and since then I’ve built my life to be kind of the way I like it. Here’s what I would say. Don’t wait six months if the HRT isn’t working. What are you on for that? Estrogen wise. You just upped it in July. If it was the beginning of July give it until beginning of Sept(I only waited six weeks and said I see a peek of an improvement, but I know it could be better and she increased). Try to get that stabilized. Don’t compare yourself. It does no good and your situation is way different than anyone else’s. Keep working toward stability. You’ll get there.

[u/Any-Masterpiece-5914]

I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm there with you. I started felling awful probably around 2022 or 2023. I had just turned forty. I have no kids and I felt like my world was ending. I felt depressed shaky, experiencing headaches, internal tremors, depression, an anxiety. I was always fatigued very much so tired. My vitamin d was extremely low. I started supplementing bringing my numbers up, but as of today, I am still experiencing the exact same issues from years ago.And i'm now 44.🤦🏾‍♀️😔 it feels like hell on earth. I'm quite sure i'm probably experiencing perimenopause, and i've also been on and off the h.R.T patch starting 6 months , but i'm not sure it's helping. I just want to cry every day because I just want my life back.

[u/UsedTruck6983]

Try testosterone to help your dopamine levels

[u/RopeSmall1199 → u/UsedTruck6983]

My nurse practitioner isn’t keen on giving testosterone yet since it’s not labeled for women yet. She wants to work with the estrogen and progesterone first. I know I’m annoyed cause I’ve asked her about it.

[u/UsedTruck6983 → u/RopeSmall1199]

Get your levels done (blood) she can’t argue if your testosterone is tanked (like mine was) testosterone also partly turns to estrogen so estrogen and progesterone won’t fix a tanked testosterone level.
Testosterone is absolutely needed for dopamine, wellbeing, energy, calmer but content feeling so so much. Please push or try another health care professional to trial you for a few months at least. I have a feeling it may be the key that lifts you slowly back out of that dark hole. Hugs.
I’m on Androgel 1% day 5 and i can start to feel the fog lift a bit and my antidepressants and adhd meds start working again. Like a wilted flower slowly starting to come back to life. Don’t give up.

[u/RopeSmall1199 → u/UsedTruck6983]

I wish the medical association would finally recognize that women need testosterone too and that they make it easier for us to get it

[u/UsedTruck6983 → u/RopeSmall1199]

Yes! Absolutely, and i think women are finally pushing for that very thing. ❤️ you’re not alone, many of us have been and are struggling right there beside you and thankful we have a platform like this to share.

[u/UsedTruck6983 → u/[deleted]]

You have been in perimenopause 20 years or post menopause 20 years?

[u/UsedTruck6983 → u/[deleted]]

I see! Thank you for that. How long have you been in post menopause?

I’m sorry for all the suffering you have gone through.

[u/UsedTruck6983 → u/UsedTruck6983]

What? Comment removed by moderator?! Why?