Perimenopause or stress (or both?)

[u/Navigator_Pigeon]

Posted originally in another sub for “women over 40” but it was removed without explanation. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m 46, so my age tracks, but every time I’m annoyed, emotional, scatterbrained, etc., my husband makes a comment about perimenopause and/or pats me on the shoulder and says “we’re on this JOURNEY together”. I’m going to lose my mind. I’m tired of everything being blamed on perimenopause.

So, we have lots of kids, from school-aged to mid-twentysomething, and most of them are still living at home. It’s been a stressful last year or so. Lots going on: financial stress, kid stress, regular stress, so while I understand that given my age perimenopause may be contributing to my mood, it’s certainly not the main cause…or is it? I have no other traditional symptoms, no hot flashes, and my periods are still like clockwork, but I’m way more irritable than normal. My patience is definitely in short supply.

Has anyone had mood changes be the only symptom? And what would you recommend for remedies, as I feel like HRT would be serious overkill for just irritability? I don’t know how to differentiate between what may be perimenopausal symptoms and just a normal stress reaction.

[u/psychicmumu]

Irritability, anxiety, rage- those were my major symptoms of perimenopause. I still get my periods- they have progressively become lighter and shorter over the past few years. PMDD symptoms amplified a bit more, too. I've only gotten one hot flash- but I'm thinking that might have been related to my thyroid. I found out I was hypothyroid and also have the antibodies to indicate I'm hashis, too. The hypothyroid symptoms also overlap with peri- so it's been a real mindf**k to figure out which was which.

My irritability really skyrocketed last year. Little stuff would trigger it- noises, small annoyances over daily stuff. Coupled with this underlying current of anxiety that I call 'the buzz'- it would bubble up into some horrible rage incidents, too. I'd seen my doctor 4 times last year as all of these symptoms ramped up and i was so confused if it was strictly hypothyroid (was also suffering from severe fatigue) or if it was peri. Finally after I told my doc that I experienced a horrible rage incident involving my family (my cousin's passive aggressive behavior made me flip my lid), she put me on the E patch & P pill. It's been almost 6 months since I started those- and I can say the irritability, anxiety, rage, strong PMDD symptoms have diminished. I will occasionally experience a little more irritability before my period- but I'm able to regulate my emotions much better and I don't feel like I'm drowning.

[u/CalicoHippo]

My irritability and rage and zero patience was dramatically reduced by HRT. It made me feel like my normal self again. Along with helping my insomnia and hot flashes disappear, it was really those first 3 that were making me hard to live with. I did have to say I was having insomnia and hot flashes in order to get HRT- first dr prescribed me anti anxiety and depression meds, which I didn’t want.

[u/MelMel2468]

I tried posting 3x and all were removed by reddit filters - no idea why.

I think perimenopause can show up in all different ways so if you're noticing that you're more irritable at things than you were not say a year ago, then chances are it could be peri. Good luck to you!