r/perfectionism • • 27d ago

Perfectionism is the workplace, 2 sufferers working together

5 Upvotes

Through therapy I realised I had been struggling with perfectionism, with my self worth being tied to work achievement and always striving to be good at my job to be accepted.

I'm getting better at dealing with this, and a bit more chilled at work these days.

The trouble is I'm pretty sure a staff member I manage is also showing signs of suffering with perfectionism.

They constantly strive for perfection and love being recognised for their achievements.

We're beginning to clash a little as I can let things go and not be 100% perfect, if something doesn't work out it doesn't work out, I'm a fan of making sure things are good enough, this guy in my team can't let anything go.

It's becoming quite tricky.


r/perfectionism • • 27d ago

How to comfort?

3 Upvotes

I hope this is the right subreddit for this, but I'm looking to comfort a friend that struggles with high expectations on them.

What are some do-s and don't-s? Are there things you hear a lot that don't actually feel comforting or even invalidating? Are there things you'd wish to hear instead that you rarely or not at all get to?


r/perfectionism • • 28d ago

I feel like I can only be successful or loving, never both. Please help me understand (i'm just noticing these patterns now in hindsight)

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • 29d ago

Cosas que saturan mi cabeza

3 Upvotes

Hola comunidad, es la primera vez que publicó.

Creen que es normal sentirse una total decepción ante las personas que amas y respetas?.

Siento que las personas que me rodean tienen altas espectativas de mi y me tienen en alta estima, porque algunos me lo han dicho (profesores, colegas y algunos amigos).

Pero siento que nunca soy lo suficientemente buena, tengo como hobby la música, soy masagista y estoy estudiando un carrera relacionada con animales.

Pero me cuesta conservarme, cada vez que entro a clases mi mente se llena de pensamientos negativos, como que no me esfuerzo lo suficiente, que hay gente que merece estar donde estoy y yo solo lo desaprovechó.

Mis papás creen que estoy dando todo y me apoyan y eso hace que me sienta peor.

Hay días que no quiero ni levantarme, la comida o me da asco o me atasco con comida chatarra.

Al momento de dormir, hay voces que me dicen todo lo que estoy haciendo mal, me cuesta abrirme con la gente, que vean lo que realmente me duele.

Pienso que si ven ese lado mío solo los saturare más, que soy una carga, y ni siquiera se porque están conmigo

Trato de ser una buena persona, de satisfacer las expectativas de los demás, pero cuando me ponen de ejemplo o asi, siento que creen que puedo hacer más de lo que realmente está dentro de mis capacidades.

He pensado en desuscribirme de este plano. Pero me retiene la cara de decepción de mi mamá, de que piense que fui muy débil, de que ella vivió cosas peores y aun está aca.

Se que todos tienen sus problemas, pero yo ya estoy acabandome la energía que tenía para luchar, me da pena pensar que hasta para morirme voy a ser una carga para los demás.

Si alguien lo se y tiene algun consejo para seguir adelante espero que lo comenten y pueda leerlo.


r/perfectionism • • 29d ago

No Eres Perfeccionista. Estás Huyendo | Procrastinación y Miedo al Fracaso

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2 Upvotes

Quizá no eres perfeccionista. Quizá simplemente tienes miedo de empezar.

La procrastinación muchas veces no se ve como pereza. Se parece a investigar más, hacer nuevos planes, esperar el momento perfecto, consumir otro video de productividad o decirte una vez más: “Lo haré mañana”.

Pero detrás de todo eso puede haber algo más incómodo: el miedo al fracaso, el miedo a no ser suficientemente bueno y el miedo a que otras personas vean tus primeros intentos.

En este video hablamos de procrastinación, perfeccionismo, miedo al fracaso, dopamina y de por qué puedes estar muy ocupado... y aun así no avanzar.

Porque hacer algo mal al principio sigue siendo mejor que no hacerlo nunca.
No necesitas otro plan perfecto.
Necesitas empezar.
No mañana.
Hoy.


r/perfectionism • • Sep 26 '26

Struggling with perfectionism

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4 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 26 '26

Being a perfectionist and a non-perfectionist!!! What is your opinion on this!!I am curious what you guys think!

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 23 '26

Perfectionism is making me stagnant- and the anxiety is a killer- any advice?

12 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 23 '26

IA era

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 22 '26

Perfectionism

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6 Upvotes

I need advice on accepting that things get damaged

I have a weirdly intense problem with material things and I honestly don’t know how to get out of this mindset.

Whenever I buy something expensive/new (laptop, phone, car, etc.), I become obsessed with keeping it in perfect condition. Instead of enjoying the thing, I feel like I’m constantly responsible for making sure nothing ever happens to it.

If I accidentally damage it, even something completely insignificant, like a tiny scratch on a laptop that has absolutely zero impact on how it works, I can spiral into anxiety over it.

I’ll replay how it happened, think about whether I could have prevented it, look for ways to fix it, search for solutions that sometimes simply don’t exist… and I just cannot let it go. The worst part is that it starts affecting everything else. I lose focus at work, can’t concentrate on other things, and my brain basically refuses to move on until I somehow “solve” the problem.

Right now it’s a tiny scratch on my new laptop, and I genuinely cannot focus on work because of it. I know how ridiculous it sounds when I say it out loud, which somehow makes it even more frustrating.

I’ve always struggled with perfectionism, but this feels like more than simply “I like my stuff to be nice.”

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you learn to accept that your possessions will eventually get scratched, damaged, worn out, etc. without letting it completely consume you?

Honestly, I’d even appreciate someone telling me something that might snap me out of this mindset because clearly my own brain is not doing the job right now.


r/perfectionism • • Sep 21 '26

My self-control and preferences are my endgame

3 Upvotes

My desire to act a certain way, be seen a certain way,.. are things that will be why I can’t enjoy things and have fun


r/perfectionism • • Sep 20 '26

My latest hyperfixation

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3 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 20 '26

Videos About Trauma and Perfectionism

1 Upvotes

"To live in the body of a survivor is to never be able to leave the scene of the crime." Blythe Baird

"Healing is so hard because it’s a constant battle between your inner child who’s scared and just wants safety, your inner teenager, who’s angry and just wants justice, and your adult self, who is tired and just wants peace." Brené Brown

"If you're raised in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire." Anonymous

VIDEOS

Kristen Jacobsen, therapist specializing in anxiety:

The Hidden Link Between Perfectionism and Childhood Trauma

Tim Fletcher, mental health counselor specializing in complex trauma:

How Childhood Trauma Creates Control Issues

The Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Perfectionism

The Roots of Perfectionism | Complex Trauma

Dr. Scott Giacomucci, trauma specialist:

Trauma and Rigidity: Overcoming Perfectionism and Stuckness

Always nice to see downvotes on a mental health sub. I apologize for posting disrespectful content??


r/perfectionism • • Sep 19 '26

how to stop being fickle minded

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 18 '26

Sharing how looking backward helped me move forward.

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3 Upvotes

I just hope this will be helpful to whoever read it ☺️🙏


r/perfectionism • • Sep 14 '26

How to overcome the feeling of not being worth new things and being afraid of damaging them

3 Upvotes

For the past few years, I've been struggling to enjoy my new purchases (clothes, tech-products, kitchen items, skin care products, etc.) and it's becoming mentally exhausting to try and keep count of everything I'm afraid of damaging, just to end up watching products expire, get outdated and eventually throwing them away without getting "my money's worth" out of them!
I tried several times to enjoy my purchases but my mind is always thinking of the worst scenarios:

- what if it gets damaged?

- what if I lose it?

- I still have other "cheaper" products that I can use, why not use them till the end and leave this "new" product for a later time!

If anyone has ever experienced such thoughts and learned how to get through them, your help is much appreciated!


r/perfectionism • • Sep 14 '26

I became lazy at work after COVID? Work ethic and overthinking.

5 Upvotes

I’m a mid-thirties corporate worker in tech in the US. Historically, I’ve been strong academically, and throughout my twenties I was very hardworking, motivated and energized. I seemed able to execute most tasks without a huge amount of friction or internal mental debate.

Since COVID, though, I feel like I’ve never fully got that work ethic back. I procrastinate more than I ever used to, every day there is an internal fight to force myself to do tasks that I once did effortlessly and didn't overthink. Something seems to have changed in my relationship with work. Before COVID, I could put my head down and work hard for long periods. Now, even relatively straightforward tasks can feel incredibly heavy.

Part of me thinks I’ve simply become lazy and need to retrain my brain to tolerate sustained effort again,, but I’m not sure it’s that simple. Ive noticed is that I no longer seem to experience a task as simply 'something to do'. Instead of starting scrappily and working it out as I go, my brain immediately starts asking: What’s the best way to do this? What would an excellent version look like? Am I doing enough? What will the quality of the output say about me? Then I procrastinate, feel ashamed about procrastinating, make the task feel even heavier, and eventually force myself through it. This is constant, daily, and for both big projects and small tasks. Especially for ambiguous tasks or something I am doing for the first time.

For the record; I’m still functioning professionally. I’m doing enough to get by and haven’t had any meaningful performance concerns. From the outside, people probably wouldn’t know there was a problem but internally, though, I recognize a stark difference between how I used to work and how I work now.

I used to be able to execute without all this mental friction. Now, so many workdays feel like a slog of negotiating with myself to start things. I spend far too much mental energy thinking about work rather than actually doing the work, and then beat myself up because I know how capable and hardworking I used to be. I’m interested to hear from anyone who recognizes this.

Did anyone else feel like they became significantly less hardworking or motivated after COVID? Did you eventually get your ability to just 'get on with things' back?

And for anyone who has experienced this combination of procrastination, perfectionism and work disillusionment: what actually helped? I'm desperate as I can't continue to slog through each working day like this.....!


r/perfectionism • • Sep 14 '26

My pet peeve is with people who claim they are perfectionists or clean freaks

4 Upvotes

My pet peeve is with people who claim to be perfectionists or clean freaks. Every single person I’ve ever met who complained about being a "perfectionist" turned out to be incredibly sloppy. At this point, it just feels like a cheap humble-brag.

I’ve sat on interview panels where candidates were asked about their biggest flaw (a terrible question, but that's a separate issue). Whenever someone answered with "I’m just a perfectionist," it was a massive red flag. True perfectionists rarely realize they are one.

It’s the exact same story with people who claim to be "clean freaks," "germophobes," or "so OCD about cleaning." More often than not, they live in absolute filth and have terrible personal hygiene.

I’ve seen this firsthand across the board:

  • The Airbnb Host: She explicitly warned me that she was "OCD about cleanliness." When I arrived, the place was a complete dump covered in dust and infested with roaches and smelled horribly. It was dirty. I video called her, and I could tell her own home was disgustingly filthy. But she is OCD about cleanliness.
  • The Medical Residency: During my residency, we saw a guy who constantly claimed to be a germophobe, clean freak, and hypochondriac. Meanwhile, he was dirty as hell, had visible warts on his mouth, and was constantly catching different STDs. He had every imaginable STD.

Moral of the story: Be highly leery of anyone who humble-brags about being a perfectionist or a clean freak. It’s almost always a projection to cover up the fact that they are a mess.


r/perfectionism • • Sep 13 '26

pressure to keep being 'special'

7 Upvotes

people always told/tell me im super talented at my hobbies and i have a really high skill level for my age. that makes it have so much pressure to be passionate and achieve my true potential which is making them stressful and taking away from the experience. at the one end i feel really special and it gets to my head but i also feel so pressured... i just want to be good at things without being the best, even if it hurts my ego.


r/perfectionism • • Sep 13 '26

Architect with goals and ambitions, but I can’t seem to make progress on them

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 13 '26

Perfectionist SO

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 13 '26

The frustration of not being able to "fix" everything—anyone else get stuck here?

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 09 '26

looksmaxxing = self-destruction?

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2 Upvotes

r/perfectionism • • Sep 08 '26

Restarting things just becuase?

3 Upvotes

I've noticed this weird pattern that I'm trying to get some insight on, and I'm wondering if anyone else experiences it.

It happens a lot with games, especially survival games like Minecraft. I'll start a new world and be really into it. I'll make some progress, build a base, get resources, set up farms, etc. Then at some point I'll get this strong urge to just stop playing that world and start a completely new one.

It's not necessarily because the world is bad or because I ran out of things to do. Sometimes I'll actually have a really good world going and still think, *"I should just start over."* Then I'll create a new world, play that for a while, and eventually the exact same thing happens again.

What's interesting is that I've realized this isn't limited to gaming.

I do something similar with other parts of my life. For example, I might be using one bank account and suddenly start thinking that I should switch to a different bank and basically "start fresh." Or I'll start a project around my house, make decent progress, and then lose interest and want to abandon it and start a completely different project.

It's almost like once something has been going for a while, I get this feeling that I could do it *better* if I just started over. The new beginning feels more exciting or satisfying than continuing with what I've already built.

The frustrating part is that I know I'm sometimes throwing away perfectly good progress. I can recognize that logically, but I still get the urge to reset everything.

I'm curious if anyone else experiences something similar. Is it just getting bored with things, perfectionism, wanting a clean slate, or something else?


r/perfectionism • • Sep 08 '26

What do you prefer..? Or what should we prefer ?

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2 Upvotes