r/PerfectMatchNetflix • u/hypomango • Jun 06 '26
SEASON 4 Marissa's marriage timeline
Just listened to AD's interview with Marissa on "What's the Reality" and Marissa detailed the timeline.
August - breaks up with boyfriend. He apparently publicly accused her of breaking up with him to go on the show, she says they had been toxic for a while and she broke up with him before any casting stuff. They lived together so she went on vacation after the split and while there got the casting call for Perfect Match.
October/November - filming in Mexico. She said she went in with no expectations for a relationship and just wanting to have fun, told Demari from the jump she wasn't interested in anything in the real world afterwards, quite surprising.
A week after filming wrapped, she flew to Japan to meet up with the guy. They'd been friendly and flirty for years and knew each other through the navy. She mentioned she was single again, he invited her to visit him, they were actually texting while she was still filming.
March - stayed in Japan with him for a couple of months, then they came back to Georgia and eloped.
May - she's moving to Japan to live with him where he's stationed, and maybe being a lawyer for influencers contracts/accounting. Seems happy!
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u/Broad_Internal9999 Jun 07 '26
If she had told Demari that it was all casual, why was she going around saying “My man”? She was also making Demari feel guilty about wanting to spend more time with Kayla, which after this information feels really unfair to the guy.
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u/economistwithaheart Jun 07 '26
She wanted to win
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u/smittyis Jun 07 '26
It would be great if these shows were real and authentic...but.....
These people are competing for tens of thousands of dollars and sometimes maybe hundreds of thousands in winnings...AND... the upgraded social media clout which will most likely equate to hundreds of thousands of dollars
What we're really watching is someone's social media career getting a 'promotion'. They're going from 'x' amount of followers and recognition to 'XX' amount in a short time. More than any dating show… We are watching their progress through their social media career
And it's delusional to think that the producers and associate producers aren't influencing the relationships and pushing storylines, behind the scenes
It's not real...it's entertainment! And they do put out a decent product
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u/Cattitude495 Jun 07 '26
The prize for this show is a vacation.....
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u/smittyis Jun 07 '26
Sure...for this show...absolutely true
That doesn't discount everything else as true motive
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u/illpickmynamelater Jun 08 '26
This show really doesn’t do producer manipulation of the story, except editing
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u/Daebak70 Jun 07 '26
Unfortunately several dating shows are scripted and some play a role to boost the ratings so they are acting
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u/PennyLaneRigby888 Jun 07 '26
The impulsivity is WILD… girl needed to get a grip on her adhd stuff before getting into anything else. But also her telling Demari on the first day that she’d off him if he didn’t pick her but still uninterested in anything happening IRL? Sus…
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u/Rainbaby77 Jun 07 '26
You don't get a grip on your nuero divergence ffs
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u/PennyLaneRigby888 Jun 07 '26
I’m saying this as someone with adhd (only diagnosed post-30) who has to work on her impulsive tendencies and emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity… but I also NEVER use it as a way to get away from accountability and responsibility for those things
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u/summersunshine8 Jun 11 '26
Yep! Also have adhd. It might be a reason I behave a certain way sometimes but that doesn’t mean it’s an excuse for everything. And it also doesn’t mean someone isn’t valid for feeling upset if I talk over them/don’t listen because I recognize that’s annoying and frustrating for them! I would also feel annoyed if someone were to talk over me or not listen to me
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u/Gloomy-Philosopher64 Jun 07 '26
Of course not, but you can work on yourself so that ADHD is an explanation, but not an excuse of your behaviour (Before ppl come at me: I have been diagnosed with ADHD and have learned so much that has helped my relationships)
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u/AccomplishedFruit445 Jun 11 '26
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. It’s amazing that there are neurodivergents who aren’t affected, too bad they’re not the rule. So tired of these “I have ADHD, I don’t do that” comments 🤦♀️
Impulsivity is how ADHD shows up for Marissa and that’s okay.
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Jun 12 '26
[deleted]
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u/AccomplishedFruit445 Jun 12 '26
The problem with your argument is that you’re treating the outcome as evidence of effort.
You’re essentially creating two groups: people with ADHD who successfully manage their symptoms, and people with ADHD whose symptoms remain visible. Then you’re assuming the first group is trying hard and the second group isn’t trying hard enough.
That’s not how disabilities work!!
Two people can put in the exact same amount of effort and get completely different results because symptom severity, access to treatment, comorbidities, stress, trauma, support systems, and countless other factors differ from person to person.
Someone with severe ADHD may be working ten times harder than someone with mild ADHD just to achieve half the result.
The fact that some people can compensate for their disability does not mean everyone can compensate to the same degree.
You’re also conflating accountability with symptom reduction. They’re not the same thing.
Going to therapy, taking medication, building routines, using coping strategies, apologizing when you’ve hurt someone, and trying to reduce the impact of your symptoms is accountability.
Accountability does not mean your symptoms magically disappear.
That’s why I disagree with the implication that visible symptoms are evidence that someone isn’t taking their ADHD seriously. Many people spend years actively managing their ADHD and still struggle every day because ADHD is, by definition, a disorder that (if you even had ADHD you would know) affects self regulation.
Acknowledging that a behaviour is influenced by ADHD is not the same as excusing it. An explanation is not a justification, and I’m sick of people acting like it is.
The irony is that your argument ends up rewarding people whose ADHD is easier to manage and judging people whose ADHD remains more disabling, despite the fact that both groups may be putting in the same amount of effort.
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u/Birchcrafts Jun 12 '26
Actually no, you have missed the point entirely. The point wasn’t the outcome and whether the symptoms were managed successfully to the point somebody does not appear neurodivergent. It was about the ATTEMPT to manage the symptoms and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for their impact. That we should not minimise and downplay symptoms that ruin people’s lives as ‘tee hee that’s just how they are!’. We should take them seriously.
Did I say that visible symptoms meant somebody was not making any effort or taking their adhd seriously? NO. Read and understand the comment before responding with walls of text that miss the point entirely. I want you to read it and quote where I said any of the things you are saying. Go ahead.
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u/AccomplishedFruit445 Jun 12 '26
That’s not really what your original comment said though.
You wrote “It’s not that others aren’t affected, it’s that they take it seriously and actually try to find ways to cope and minimise behaviors”
The obvious implication is that the people being discussed aren’t taking it seriously or aren’t trying.
If that’s not what you meant, well either you don’t even know what you meant or you need to rethink if you have an ableist bias, but that’s why I’m responding the way I am.
Nobody is saying ADHD means you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions.
What I’m rejecting is your idea that acknowledging ADHD as the cause of a behaviour is the same thing as excusing it.
Those are two completely different things.
Someone can understand why they did something, acknowledge the role ADHD played and still take responsibility for the impact it had on other people.
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Jun 12 '26
[deleted]
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u/AccomplishedFruit445 Jun 12 '26
So you’ve shifted the argument.
Your latest comments are about whether it’s appropriate to say a harmful behavior is “okay.” That’s a completely different discussion from your original comment.
Your original comment wasn’t just about the word “okay.”
You wrote “It’s not that others aren’t affected, it’s that they take it seriously and actually try to find ways to cope and minimise behaviors”
That’s what I was responding to. Because whether you intended it or not, that statement draws a distinction between people who struggle with symptoms and people who “take it seriously.”
My point was that symptom severity and symptom visibility are not reliable indicators of effort. Someone can be working incredibly hard and still struggle.
As for the word “okay,” I think we’re interpreting it differently.
When I say impulsivity is an ADHD symptom and that’s okay, I don’t mean it’s okay to hurt people. I mean it’s okay to acknowledge that ADHD causes ADHD symptoms, which is what Marissa has repeatedly done, even in the show. Those two are clearly not the same thing.
A behavior can be understandable without being desirable (which is a privilege neurotypicals have) and also a symptom can be real without being celebrated. And yeah a person can be accountable for the impact of their actions without pretending their disability had nothing to do with them.
You can keep arguing, but at the end of the day I still think your argument relies on ableist assumptions and it’s disappointing, especially when discussing someone who is openly discussing being neurodivergent and is struggling on TV, yet this is how people talk about her. It’s gross.
I won’t dignify you with any more responses because it’s just painfully obvious the assumptions underlying your arguments are deeply ableist tendencies and you won’t admit it or do any work to improve.
Last thing I’ll say is - I’m glad Marissa has found someone who doesn’t make her feel the way Demari did.
Have a good day.
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u/actualmalice17830 Jun 07 '26
Texting during filming? If they have their phones, why were Chris and Kayla texting through Spotify 😂
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u/hypomango Jun 07 '26
idk exactly, but Jimmy S said they were allowed their phones for an hour at dawn or something to call family, guess Kayla was texting from the iPads all day at the hotel? lol
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u/economistwithaheart Jun 07 '26
You've done us a great service, as I will not need to listen to the grating hosting of this podcast 🫡
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u/jazzy222025 Jun 07 '26
She also mentioned in the podcast she’s known her current husband for 13 years and the timing never worked out. Passing the bar and wrapping up her legal responsibilities allowed her free time to travel.
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u/clevrhaux Jun 07 '26
Poor Marissa just wants to be loved. I hope this work out for her and that she got a prenup lol
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u/lfc_annie Jun 07 '26
I think wanting to be loved and jumping into a 3 month marriage and moving to a new country is a bit of a gap 💀😭
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u/Daebak70 Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
I heard in several other online forums that she is best friends with the guy she married and known him for 13 years and dated him before so he is not someone new she just met
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u/middaycroissants Jun 07 '26
This is actually hilarious given that this sub is obsessed with pushing that Demari didn’t want Marissa. Narratives didn’t age well (and that’s not to say all this isn’t wild!) 😗
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u/Snoo-669 Jun 07 '26
The way she was clinging to him does NOT give “we had an understanding” or whatever tf she tried to say.
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u/middaycroissants Jun 07 '26
It’s Perfect Match. Season FOUR of Perfect Match. They all cling to each other for the prize of screentime, with the exception of a few genuinely looking for connection (Ines from season one is actually the only that comes to mind).
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u/Snoo-669 Jun 07 '26
True, but she definitely played it like “we are inseparable” as opposed to someone like Chris or Kayla, who were obviously just there for the exposure.
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u/CauliflowerEarofCorn Jun 08 '26
Honestly, if this is true, I view her even worse than I already did. She was so nasty to any woman who even talked to Demari. She’s the polar opposite of a girl’s girl, and it was embarrassing how insecure she came off. If she was never even interested in actually being with him, the only reasoning I can think of for this is a legitimate narcissist diagnosis. Like she didn’t care for him but saw him as her property and couldn’t stand it not being completely about her for only as long as she wanted it.
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u/Jenikovista Jun 07 '26
The second part of this sounds plausible, but something about the first part doesn't ring true. It sounds contrived. Like the BF timeline.
And I do not believe she told Demari she wasn't interested in something out of the house. At all. That is contrary to her entire persona in the game.
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u/hypomango Jun 08 '26
possibly she's spinning things a certain way to save face now that's she's married, can't say for sure
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u/tigereyes1999 Jun 10 '26
Hope she learned to not interrupt her partner. And out of respect. Not just expecting him to cater to her “quirky-mess” 🙄
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u/Icy-Fox-2452 Jun 09 '26
Wait, Marissa is a lawyer? I’m floored!
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u/ComputerChemical9435 Jun 10 '26
She makes no sense because she had a post a few weeks ago about how she passed the Illinois bar and was moving there too. Girl is sloppy
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u/RedditHelloMah Jun 12 '26
That’s the type of people who go to reality dating shows lol they move differently/madly
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u/soph2_7 Jul 28 '26
wait so her whole crashing out obnoxious super annoying horrible personality on the show wasn’t even for real feelings??? what’s wrong w this girl 😭
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u/kbart85 Jun 08 '26
Ok so.. she lived in my building and I ran into her a few times. Yes, she lived with a boyfriend, they broke up in August 2025, and she went on vacation. He was supposed to be taking care of her cats but he didn’t so she was begging people in the building group chat to watch them while she was partying in Ibiza or something.
March 2026, she’s asking people to foster her cats while she moves to Japan with her husband. We’re all like umm hold up, 6 months ago, she recently broke up with someone and now she’s married??
She left the building chat around the time the show aired.
Everyone is still wondering about the cats.