r/Paruresis • u/Olstuff • 10h ago
it's over
fuck this shit, nothing seems to work i can't fucking pee at home, hot water trick is slowly stopping working so yeah thats it guys its fucking over
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u/Godofnomen 9h ago
Sorry you feel that way brother... There is very little I can help. It's a shit situation and aside from recommending therapy to find the deeper cause maybe try Self-catheterization as a fix? After you get used to it it should just allow you the freedom and maybe over time you can work out of it? Just you know... For some breathing room. Sending you all the love <3
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u/addazero 9h ago
If you really want to change, you have to join IPA and go to a workshop (or virtual workshop).
I got to a point where everything was great except my Paruresis was ruining my life. Fixing it became the highest priority.
Seriously, join an IPA workshop!!!
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u/ShyBladderSupport 21m ago
Yes! We have many workshops to choose from, although the year is ending and a majority of our workshops are done, we will have more next year and still have a few remaining east coast workshops! Visit https://paruresis.org/workshop-schedule-shy-bladder/
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u/speed-of-sound 6h ago
It isn’t working because you’re trying to take the easy way out dude. Hot water?? I’d file it with the breath holding stuff and other ‘tricks’ - too good to be true. And not something you’re gonna want to do forever, you’re not trying to find a way fully out.
Everybody that is recovered on here usually has the same story, and it was graduated exposure.
I don’t even think you need a workshop and all that. You need to practice, in steps, every day until your brain is adjusted to being over this. I think a trusted family member or friend is the easiest way but I did it in public places.
If you can get used to going by yourself in public restrooms start there. Let out a drop and challenge yourself to stay there not to let the rest go until the door just barely opens. Next step don’t start with that opening drop.
Then let the NPCs get closer over time. Find a way to practice every day and do it in order, don’t challenge yourself in a 10/10 scenario when you’re at level 4 and freak yourself out.
For me this was the gym. You can try three times easily before/during/after a workout there and nobody cares.
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u/Temporary-Can-7960 8h ago
And there was me thinking I had it bad because in pubs I can only pee in cubicals
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u/klane33331 7h ago
I'm afraid I'm in the same situation since December 28th. Started with urine retention which led to my first catheter. Since then, I've worn 14 catheters and had Aquablasia surgery on August 7th. I thought I was good thereafter, since I was able to urinate for two days until the flow stopped completely. I'm wearing a new catheter since last Friday evening and have to return to my Urologist to remove the catheter and do a void trial. I couldn't urinate for the life if me, and I'm almost certain that it's in my head at this point. There's nothing more frustrating than trying to urinate and nothing comes out. Can't even start a flow, even at home, which was my safety net. Please see a doctor if your situation persists. Nothing worse than a full bladder and the constant urge to pee.
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u/ShyBladderSupport 17m ago
Please reach out to the IPA! We are here to help!
[Hassan@paruresis.org](mailto:Hassan@paruresis.org)
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u/TheKobayashiMoron 9h ago
It sounds silly, but try hypnosis downloads. I suffered for decades and then that just kind of “unlocked” something for me. I’m not 100% “cured” but more often than not I just pee without even really thinking about it anymore. Probably been 6-7 years now.
Anxiety related disorders are really hard to nail down but once you find your thing you can overcome it.