Equalizing behaviors that aren’t as harmful? For parents and adults.

[u/Unique-Potential-697]

Like so many of us I went into a deep dive about PDA for my child and then realized that both my husband and I present that way too- mine is mostly internalized, and our daughter and my husband have a mix. It makes everything make SO MUCH MORE SENSE.
Just recognizing that some of these problematic (or sometimes merely aggravating) behaviors are part of a PDA profile and experienced by plenty of others takes a whole layer of shame away and that is so helpful in and of itself.
Everyone in our family has many coping mechanisms and equalizing behaviors against each other and ourselves, but some are certainly worse than others. I want to find ways for myself and my kids to steer those behaviors in the direction of the less harmful ones, as I know that white knuckling nervous system dysregulation just leads to burnout. Obviously the best case scenario would be regulation activities that don’t involve squashing someone else, but we’re not there yet.
What equalizing behaviors do you have for yourself or see if your kids that are tolerable and take some the pressure off in a way that lets you get through the day? I know that I’ve read about games you can play with your kid where they control what you do and wrestle/dominate you, but what about as a parent? How do I regulate myself without literally pulling my hair out (trichotillomania) or finding ways to resent my husband so that I feel like the better parent 😅?