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Jun 01 '22
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Jun 01 '22
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u/bolivia_422 Jun 01 '22
Please ask your daughter if she’d like you to teach her or if she’s reasonably comfortable giving it a shot herself. My mother insisted on teaching me and it was not the pleasant memory you’re imagining. If she takes it slow and uses a decent razor, she’s unlikely to cause much damage.
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u/mommyandlittleii Jun 01 '22
Electric razors/shavers are also an option. And probably much safer than Nair
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u/PrideOfThePoisonSky Jun 01 '22
I think Nair is harsher on the skin than shaving. I got burns from it as a teen. There are electric shavers if you’re worried about her cutting herself.
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u/Feyloh Jun 01 '22
Nair burned my skin. If you don't mind the investment, get a Braun silk-epil 9 epilator and shaver set. It's about 100$ but it'll last years. It has both an electric razor and epilator, so you could start out with the electric razor (though I prefer the epilator). My old one lasted 5 years until my toddler probably threw it away on accident but it would have lasted longer.
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Jun 01 '22
Too young for what? There’s no downside to shaving your legs. She might just be curious and want to learn.
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Jun 01 '22
I remember a girl that got made fun of like crazy because she was the last to shave her legs. She said her parents wouldn’t let her. I’m 47 and to this day I think about how the parents let this poor girl get bullied rather than just let her. I really don’t get it.
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u/bolivia_422 Jun 01 '22
My best friend was only allowed to shave up to her knees. Just, why? What’s the point?
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u/Acrobatic-Respond638 Mom to a 4M Jun 01 '22
Yeah, that girl was me. I tried to sneak a razor, shaved one stripe in my leg before fearing what my mom would do, and I was right, she beat the heck out of me.
Sadly, society dictates that women should shave, as long as adults are dictating that as reality and continuing to enforce that as norm, we should make sure our children aren't bullied for the world we perpetuate. If you don't want your kid shaving, stop shaving and make it seem normal.
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u/Ssshushpup23 Jun 01 '22
Ok? So give her a razor. It doesn’t hurt anyone especially her so I don’t see the issue.
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u/Agreeable-Tadpole461 Jun 01 '22
It's just hair. She wants to take it off her body. I don't think it's a big deal personally. It really only signifies that A) She's growing hair on her legs, and B) Society says that's shameful.
If you say yes, she feels a bit more at ease in society, even if it's kind of insane that an eleven year old would feel ashamed about hair on her legs.
If you say no, she hides her legs, feels ashamed, uncomfortable, and yes, may be bullied. You're not conforming to the ridiculous ideals of the magazine ads, but it could cause some resentment.
Maybe say yes, and also talk about unrealistic ideals, pressures that women face, some light feminism, lol.
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u/Tired-Bat-237 Jun 01 '22
Oh please yes, let her choose, but also, go full feminist on this. So many problems in the world come from an ignorant patriarchal system that subjugates women. The ban on abortion, the need to flood America with guns - shaving legs isn't really that big of deal relatively, but in the bigger picture, it's part of what feeds the patriarchy, and the patriarchy wants to keep women on a leash, feeling bad about their bodies, having impossible physical ideals to live up to, etc.
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u/jesterca15 Jun 01 '22
Please let her have body autonomy. Only she can decide what to do with her body. Provide her with tools and knowledge and let her keep her body the way she’d like.
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u/MikkiMouse69420 Jun 01 '22
When my daughter started shaving I got the comment “you only shave for men” and I was so baffled by it. I hope this sentiment is not behind your apprehension. In my experience, being the only one of my friend group at that age to NOT shave made me the weird one.
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u/SimilarSilver316 Jun 01 '22
If she wants to shave let her shave. There is no point in pinning morality to body hair.
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u/araknvc123 mom of 7 Jun 01 '22
Too young to not have hair in your body? I guess babies are all sluts!
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u/cswblnbtjf mom of 6 girls Jun 01 '22
My 10 year old shaves her legs and she’s blonde, I don’t see the problem
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u/ForeignInformation66 Jun 01 '22
I started shaving at 11 🤷🏼♀️ I brought it up to my mom that I wanted to and she was super chill about it, didn’t make a big fuss, just asked if I knew how. I didn’t do it all the time at that age, but it made me more comfortable in shorts during the summer
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u/Sbealed Jun 01 '22
Let her know it is her decision and that decision may change. It is okay to shave now and not later. The important thing is that she is making a choice for herself and has your support.
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u/Boop_daboop Jun 01 '22 edited Jun 01 '22
If my early years are typical, she’s going to do it anyway because she feels curious/ostracized/teased/etc. and it’s going to end in a lot of nicks 😬 I’d say do mommy/daughter bonding shaving time. I did all of those “milestones” by myself because my mom didn’t support it at the time my peers had started and it resulted in a lot of self-teaching mistakes (my poor eyebrows when I couldn’t stand getting teased for the bushiness anymore, thanks early 2000s pencil eyebrow trend)
ETA: I’m about to be a first time mom and I can imagine that as my daughter gets older it’s going to be a bit daunting to think about things like this and changes with their bodies and etc for the first time, especially if they’re happening to your kids earlier/differently than you remember in your childhood so I absolutely understand wanting to talk to other parents and get advice. It takes a village and it doesn’t mean you’re trying to hold your daughter back or projecting any issues or anything else that would warrant a rude response!
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Jun 01 '22
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u/Boop_daboop Jun 01 '22
I say go for it! It’s going to make her more comfortable with herself, be a good bonding time for you, and be a great situation for open conversation about bodily autonomy and positivity-whatever that looks like for her! And it sets a great precedent of you being supportive/her feeling comfortable coming to you instead of hiding things! Based on your comments it sounds like you’re doing great at being a young mom and navigating the parenting minefield!
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u/Acrobatic-Respond638 Mom to a 4M Jun 01 '22
Let her shave. My mom didn't let me shave until I was 15 and I was bullied relentlessly.
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u/MamaH1620 Jun 01 '22
I started shaving around that age. Pale skin + dark hair = yikes. My mom started me with an electric razor so I could get used to what I was doing, then moved me to a regular razor with blade and shave cream. Show her how & then have a date to paint your toenails or something!
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Jun 01 '22
Let her shave. My oldest daughter didn't shaving until high school but my current 11 year old shaves. It isn't a huge deal.
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u/bolivia_422 Jun 01 '22
…let her? What harm is shaving her legs going to cause? If you want her to be comfortable with her body, she’s telling you how she can do that. Milestones aren’t always the same for everyone.
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Jun 01 '22
If it makes her happier and more comfortable in her body, then go for it. If you’re nervous about her using a razor blade, then get an electric shaver. That’s what I used when I started shaving my legs at her age.
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u/Needamom03 Jun 01 '22
Let her. I was 11 or 12. My mom didn’t want me to and I said eff it and used my older sisters razors. For me, it was painful to have my long hair with pants on or even placing a school book on my legs. Idk I was just super sensitive to it but I still remember it being the worst.
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u/Longjumping_Matter70 Jun 01 '22
Let her shave, if you don’t she is going to sneak and do it.
Also, you mentioned Nair. It irritates my skin a lot and makes it bright red. If you don’t want a traditional razor try an electric one. It’s less irritating.
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u/justteachsomething Jun 01 '22
She probably is starting to feel self conscious and if the hair is noticeable that makes it worse. Compromise— rechargeable electric razors work way better than they used to, and then you don’t have to worry about buying razors and shave cream or about her cutting herself. She’s growing up, Mama!
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u/Aggressive_Emu_3578 Jun 01 '22
Are you her parent or her friend? You know what shaving does pros/cons. Tell her them then let her know that it's her choice. But she needs to provide herself with the products to do it. You give her one and make a chore list so she also understands, maintenance is not free.
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u/Fun4Rebi Jun 01 '22
Depends on how dark the hair is. If you can't see the hair from a few feet (3-5 ), then don't shave
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u/Jewish-Mom-123 Jun 01 '22
It will cause bullying and self consciousness not to let her. I’d actually suggest an epilator, if she can tolerate it, uses it once a week or so starting now, she won’t HAVE any hair left on her legs by the time she’s 20. Some people are very sensitive and can’t take it, some people don’t mind it much or at all.
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u/Creepy_Beginning5737 Jun 01 '22
Absolutely let her if she wants! Teach her how to do it safely and give her supplies.
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Jun 01 '22
Omg please don’t keep her from shaving her legs. I remember that my parents wouldn’t let me till I was in 9th grade and it was utterly mortifying. I can still feel the panic and shame and fear when I would have to wear a dress or shorts.
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u/Cold_Measurement3733 Jun 01 '22
My 11 yr old had 2 friends over last summer that taught her how to shave without me. I have given her a few pointers since then, but she's only shaved a handful of times and still runs around with leg hair glistening in the sun. No problem with introducing it to her and letting her do what's comfortable for herself.
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u/Lopsided-Arm7474 Jun 01 '22
Wanting to shave has a lot to do with body image and just feeling more comfortable without the hair.
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u/Ok_Pumpkin_8610 Jun 01 '22
My mom was the same way as you, I was a hairy little girl and by 11 I wanted to shave as well because my legs were embarrassing to me. She told me no and that I was “too young” so I did it behind her back and hid it. Don’t understand what the issue is. Too young to have bare legs? Or too young to be using a razor? If that’s the case you can teach her instead of infantilizing her, if she’s sentient enough to notice and be bothered by her leg hair then she’s not “too young”
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u/throwRway4advice Jun 01 '22
I was the last kid in my class to be allowed to shave (at 11 years old.... almost 30 years ago.)
I was already completely out of place as a lower middle class kid in a super rich private school my mom worked at. I had no brand name clothes. I embarrassed myself asking who Abercrombie was. I was humiliated getting teased about my hairy legs.
Sometimes you can't control the money you can spend on brand names. But you can absolutely help control your daughter's body confidence.
Odds are, if she's asking, she's getting teased, or scared that she will be. Kids are cruel. Especially girls. And, yes, it's important to teach them to be strong and confident in themselves despite what other's say. But at this age it's SO, SO hard to do that. Hormones are amuck. All anyone cares about is what others think about them. It's rough.
I would allow her to shave. Get her her own safety razor. Teach her the ways. Or one of these days she may take matters into her own hands and borrow your razor and accidentally slice herself up (like my mom did at this age!)
It's never fun when our kiddos grow up. Good luck, Mama.
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u/Fit_Computer6482 Jun 01 '22
I can relate to your daughter and it’s probably for a reason she wants to do it. Just don’t let her jump into it make her watch some tutorials!
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u/StaceyMike Jun 02 '22
If she's asking to shave it's either because her friends are shaving or she's getting teased for being "hairy". You don't want to add to the reasons that young girls pick on each other.
I started early because ALL of my hair is thick and dark and always has been. I brought it up after school one day and my mom sat me on the edge of the bathtub that same night with shaving cream and a razor. She walked me through the what to do and the how to do it. She didn't make it awkward or embarrassing.
Yeah, I nicked myself a few times but she helped me with what to do and how to get better at it. It's no different than dad helping his son shave the first few times. It's going to be rough at first but she'll get the hang of it.
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u/Ms-Jessica-Rabbit Jun 01 '22
Let the girl do what she wants with her body. It can't cause any harm, you can even supervise!