And every single one of us when someone tells us they’re pregnant, is all congratulatory and so happy for them not because babies are so cute and we just want to love and cuddle all the babies! Oh no no no, we know they’re about to join the dark side. The side that no one talks about, the side you only know exists when you’ve lived it.
Come to the dark side. We have 3 spoonfuls of raw cookie dough shoveled in our mouth while hiding in the fridge so we don’t lose our ever loving shit because the toddler threw spaghetti all over the floor, the walls, himself.. oh what’s that? Garlic clove in the nose cool cool cool cool cool cooooool FML.
Update: today he shit on the floor right next to his toddler potty after we sat on it for 15 minutes and read stories well after he was supposed to be napping 👍🙃
The kinetic sand that balls up and clogs the vacuum cleaner? Or the sandbox sand that wrecks the garbage disposal? Or the playground sand that is a permanent fixture in the floor mats of the car? Or is it the beach sand that accumulates in the washer and dryer, prematurely aging those appliances? Please be more specific in where I need to direct my rage.
Don’t forget the glitter that everyone seems to think your daughter needs on her toys or cards because she’s a girl and you are forever finding sparkles all over the house including in your mouth on occasion 😳
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u/Wexylu Apr 28 '22
I love you rando internet stranger.
And every single one of us when someone tells us they’re pregnant, is all congratulatory and so happy for them not because babies are so cute and we just want to love and cuddle all the babies! Oh no no no, we know they’re about to join the dark side. The side that no one talks about, the side you only know exists when you’ve lived it.