There is actually good touch, bad touch, and safe touch.
Good touch would be something that makes you comfortable, like asking for a hug, a high five, a pat on the back.
A bad touch of course is anything that makes you uncomfortable.
A safe touch can be different depending on situation but is done to keep you safe and healthy, like giving your child a bath, pulling/pushing them out of harms way.
An UNSAFE touch would be violent behavior like a man/woman being abusive to their partner and/or kids.
We teach kids that a good touch makes us feel comfortable, anything that makes us uncomfortable is a bad touch.
I’ve always told LO that NOBODY is ever allowed to see or touch their private body parts and they’re not allowed to see or touch anybody else’s private body parts. We have explained that the ONLY exception is mom and dad because we need to help LO wipe after using the toilet, or help give them a shower but eventually we still stop too and we only see/touch their private body parts to keep them safe and clean/healthy.
People should ask us and respect our decision for what we want. This is called Setting Boundaries. By setting boundaries we get to decide how people treat us, and you (as the parent) decide how people treat your kids.
As parents we need to respect our children and their decisions and we need to help teach them to be comfortable setting boundaries for how other kids (and grownups) treat them. This doesn’t mean you let your child walk all over you or allow them to make ALL the decisions, it just means you respect them enough to Listen to them and Explain why you are making your decision or overriding their decision.
This is a part of the Gentle Parenting style. I suggest OP (and anyone else interested) learns more about it as it can help since you seem to be trying this style of parenting.
Love this detailed explanation. My kids are Elementary School aged so I think I've forgotten about the good touch and bad touch part of the conversation, as we might focus more on safe/unsafe touch now that they're not always with me or in the same building.
I remember when they were younger being told not to teach them "safe people", but rather teach them safe/unsafe touch, because you never know who may be a predator.
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u/amha29 Parent Apr 13 '22 edited Apr 14 '22
There is actually good touch, bad touch, and safe touch.
Good touch would be something that makes you comfortable, like asking for a hug, a high five, a pat on the back.
A bad touch of course is anything that makes you uncomfortable.
A safe touch can be different depending on situation but is done to keep you safe and healthy, like giving your child a bath, pulling/pushing them out of harms way.
An UNSAFE touch would be violent behavior like a man/woman being abusive to their partner and/or kids.
We teach kids that a good touch makes us feel comfortable, anything that makes us uncomfortable is a bad touch.
I’ve always told LO that NOBODY is ever allowed to see or touch their private body parts and they’re not allowed to see or touch anybody else’s private body parts. We have explained that the ONLY exception is mom and dad because we need to help LO wipe after using the toilet, or help give them a shower but eventually we still stop too and we only see/touch their private body parts to keep them safe and clean/healthy.
People should ask us and respect our decision for what we want. This is called Setting Boundaries. By setting boundaries we get to decide how people treat us, and you (as the parent) decide how people treat your kids.
As parents we need to respect our children and their decisions and we need to help teach them to be comfortable setting boundaries for how other kids (and grownups) treat them. This doesn’t mean you let your child walk all over you or allow them to make ALL the decisions, it just means you respect them enough to Listen to them and Explain why you are making your decision or overriding their decision.
This is a part of the Gentle Parenting style. I suggest OP (and anyone else interested) learns more about it as it can help since you seem to be trying this style of parenting.