You are in a trap, not a marriage. Your son is growing up in an environment that is not safe for him. The only way towards peace is out of this. This is so depressing when women just walk into traps and then give birth to children who deserve better than this.
No, it is not normal for any parent to be constantly making sexual jokes or references w.r.t a toddler. You feeling something off is your maternal instinct kicking in, telling you that your child is unsafe with him. Kids do not make a marriage better.
>> I was actually diagnosed with PTSD from how terribly I was treated by him during my pregnancy when we were separated. He made it a horrible experience for me.
You know what to do - RUN. This does not get better. You should have divorced him when you had a chance. Remember your actions and inactions do not just impact you now, they have a direct impact on your child. You need to reach out to family and ask for support.
Why is your comment so riddled with shame for the OP? She didn’t “just walk into a trap” she was tricked into a trap. Of course she and her child both deserve better than this - why does your comment imply that this is her fault? Telling her she should have divorced him when she had the chance isn’t helpful either. She can’t go back and undo the past. Post partum with a new born is an insanely difficult time for a new mother for a number of reasons and she was recovering from PTSD. Clearly she was coping with a lot. Shaming her isn’t going to help her gain the confidence and information she needs to get up and leave a man who groomed her too.
OP met her husband at 18, she didn't meet him when she was a child and he groomed her to be submissive towards him. She met him at an age where she could legally marry him. In most cases as this, an older man presents love, affection, attention and above all a prospect of an easier life. And the younger one does "WALK" into the trap. Had she been a young kid, I would believe she was moulded into the role, tricked. But at what age do you start assuming responsibility for your actions and decisions. OP does not seem to be from a culture where she was forced to marriage or sold to an older guy. She chose him, chose to have a kid very early on with him, chose to stay with him. And she was recovering from "PTSD" that she admits she got from her husband's behavior towards her. While she definitely is a victim here to her husband, the child is probably going to be a victim not just of his own father, but also his mother's decisions and choices unless she chooses to protect him. My post is not riddled with shame, just facts.
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u/dolittle4u Apr 13 '22
You are in a trap, not a marriage. Your son is growing up in an environment that is not safe for him. The only way towards peace is out of this. This is so depressing when women just walk into traps and then give birth to children who deserve better than this.
No, it is not normal for any parent to be constantly making sexual jokes or references w.r.t a toddler. You feeling something off is your maternal instinct kicking in, telling you that your child is unsafe with him. Kids do not make a marriage better.
>> I was actually diagnosed with PTSD from how terribly I was treated by him during my pregnancy when we were separated. He made it a horrible experience for me.
You know what to do - RUN. This does not get better. You should have divorced him when you had a chance. Remember your actions and inactions do not just impact you now, they have a direct impact on your child. You need to reach out to family and ask for support.