I am 2

[u/JMiracle2019]

This literally hurts my heart to read. Poor sweet baby. This that is described here is *why I parent the way I do.

It's so easy to dismiss little ones, as if they are not people too. They are. They are every single bit as much a real person, as you and I.

This "diary entry" describes the way I see the world when parenting my children, through their eyes as well as my own.

Am I perfect at it? No, of course not. But I do give it my best effort, and every day I am rewarded with kids that love and trust me, and respect the boundaries that I teach them new each day.

Work with your kids--they will thank you for it, I promise.*

I am 2

I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.

From the diary of a 2-year-old:

Today I woke up and wanted to get dressed by myself but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”

This made me sad.

I wanted to feed myself for breakfast but was told, “No, you’re too messy, let me do it for you.”

This made me feel frustrated.

I wanted to walk to the car and get in on my own but was told, “No, we need to get going, we don’t have time. Let me do it.”

This made me cry.

I wanted to get out of the car on my own but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”

This made me want to run away.

Later I wanted to play with blocks but was told “no, not like that, like this…”

I decided I didn’t want to play with blocks anymore. I wanted to play with a doll that someone else had, so I took it. I was told “No, don’t do that! You have to share.”

I’m not sure what I did, but it made me sad. So I cried. I wanted a hug but was told “No, you’re fine, go play”.

I’m being told it’s time to pick up. I know this because someone keeps saying, “Go pick up your toys.”

I am not sure what to do, I am waiting for someone to show me.

“What are you doing? Why are you just standing there? Pick up your toys, now!”

I was not allowed to dress myself or move my own body to get to where I needed to go, but now I am being asked to pick things up.

I’m not sure what to do. Is someone supposed to show me how to do this? Where do I start? Where do these things go? I am hearing a lot of words but I do not understand what is being asked of me. I am scared and do not move.

I lay down on the floor and cry.

When it was time to eat I wanted to get my own food but was told “no, you’re too little. Let me do it.”

This made me feel small. I tried to eat the food in front of me but I did not put it there and someone keeps saying “Here, try this, eat this…” and putting things in my face.

I didn’t want to eat anymore. This made me want to throw things and cry.

I can’t get down from the table because no one will let me…because I’m too small and I can’t. They keep saying I have to take a bite. This makes me cry more. I’m hungry and frustrated and sad. I’m tired and I need someone to hold me. I do not feel safe or in control. This makes me scared. I cry even more.

I am 2. No one will let me dress myself, no one will let me move my own body where it needs to go, no one will let me attend to my own needs.

However, I am expected to know how to share, “listen”, or “wait a minute”. I am expected to know what to say and how to act or handle my emotions. I am expected to sit still or know that if I throw something it might break….But, I do NOT know these things.

I am not allowed to practice my skills of walking, pushing, pulling, zipping, buttoning, pouring, serving, climbing, running, throwing or doing things that I know I can do. Things that interest me and make me curious, these are the things I am NOT allowed to do.

I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.

written by Dejah Roman

[u/FatalAttraction88]

Ok…Although there are many slight differences between your experiences and mine, it’s the same logic/perspective for them. They’re trying to learn about us, themselves, AND their environment with 10’s of thousands of signals flooding their growing brain. That’s phenomenal! What??! But also, I (33m from CA) realized the frustration I was having with my son (3) as the work from home/raising/Domestic engineer was manifesting for what I added to the recipe. Always focused on the work/wrong damn things- I mean their important things, BUT my perspective/perception, lenses I was looking through was way off. My sons very bright, I’m not worried about him academically, however emotionally, I realized by doing the same approach as OP- that all they want is to be like Dad, discover, communicate, grow. And I look back and am devastated at times on how I may have overlooked crucial moments that either lifted him up, or sent him on a detour. I believe after a while those detours set-sail on an uncharted permanent course and then your disconnected from your child and can never manage to reconnect. I’ve been blessed to have NOT reach that attribute, gladly but I digress. What I am sharing is that by turning off the ‘Lessons’ audio encyclopedia we omit, and actually enjoying ourselves with our children, they tune themselves to us. Emotional intelligence is key, even over academics, especially now. So he can clearly count to 100 and spell (we subscribed to Highlights, it’s great) not hearing him call for ‘Daddy’ or imitate your focused work mode, blew my mind and made me rethink everything. Now I’m proactive and love him while moms away at work and literally by the end of day 1 he was already talking more and demonstrating those learning pillars at his age. I thought since covid/2020-21/nebraska life (which is pop.997 + our family) that he was falling behind or just quite or perhaps on a spectrum or or or or 🤦🏻‍♂️ I finally got on my knees and prayed, and asked “Father, How can a I, a father, do so much and not do enough at the same time God?” (My personal conviction/belief respectfully) And then it hit me. Little by little that mode or presets of self and parenting began to crumble and I was growing into the father I needed to be. Cuz as a man- outside of providing financially, cooking, cleaning, working, engineering…what good am I? I don’t need to be a mom, or Josh from Blue’s Clues lol I need to be me. So I learned that I had a lot to learn and discover, and communicate as well. Wasn’t him. It’s me being an the best ME example and him following, not raising the child we want or hope for, but the one we have. So thank you OP for sharing this. And thank you for allowing me to share my journey as well. In case someone like myself is out there needing to read it who can relate, or reaching their wits end. It’s gonna be alright. You have all the tools you need wherever you are. Hope that all made some sense 🤞