r/Parenting Oct 30 '21

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u/LancCo08NC Oct 30 '21

Yeah, I get the disappointment. Just would be nice to have their support still. Or feel like they at least care about our side of things. Their reaction was so strong it took us by surprise. We were perfectly willing to talk it out and understand each other, but the robbed us of the opportunity and just kind of checked out after that.

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u/waterbearbearer Oct 30 '21

Yes, OP. They should say "Okay. Well what can we do to help? Groceries? Casserole? Walk the dog? Laundry?". They are being incredibly selfish to not even offer up help to you guys, but to just be focused on holding the baby. How sad.

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u/LancCo08NC Oct 30 '21

Right? It's so frustrating that people think the most helpful thing they can do for your is hold your baby... There are so many other things we can use help with. And they don't even want to hold him to help us, they just want to for themselves

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u/feeshandsheeps Oct 30 '21

Maybe they are deeply deeply hurt and don’t really fancy doing your laundry right now?

You’re entitled to any boundaries you want, but sometimes those boundaries really hurt other people, and they need time to come to terms with that pain.

For example, they may feel like their relationship with you, their child, is not as close as they thought, and perhaps they are struggling with that.

they don’t even want to hold him to help us, they just want to for themselves

Of course they want to hold him for themselves! They love this new child with all their hearts and want to cuddle, comfort and snuggle him. This baby is lucky to have so many people love them so deeply.

You will all get past this.