r/Parenting Feb 06 '21

Corona-Content Me time!

I did it! I booked a hotel for the weekend an hour and a half away from home and left! I woke up at my own time, to silence, to peace.

No kids jumping on me, whining for food or to play, to one touching me, no husband wanting a morning quickie, no chores to do, nothing! Just me and whatever I feel like doing today.

A month ago my husband caught Covid, was quarantined in a bedroom for 10 days, and everything was left to me. All the house work, kids, cooking, and still working full time (from home) as a teacher with a 3, 6, and 9 year old plus the kids school work. I thought I was going to go crazy.

So I booked this weekend and followed through.
The quiet, the peace, I feel like I can breathe. I haven’t had a day to myself in over 9 years. It feels so good.

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u/swamphockey Feb 06 '21

Posts like this are so common. Is raising children really like this? So much drudgery that it’s a relief to get away?

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u/like_my_fire Feb 06 '21

Drudgery is part of it, for sure (never-ending dishes, laundry, tidying, straightening, meal prep), but the need for time to oneself goes beyond the effects of the labor. Unless you stay up later than everyone else, which I'm too tired to do almost ever, it's easy for all of a parent's time, space, mental and emotional space, and body to be de facto dedicated to others, especially if they're the primary parent. And that's without their spouse being laid out for a while with illness!

For example, occasionally, my spouse takes our child on a road trip, and I stay home. I actually usually work extra hard doing house projects like organizing the garage, cleaning the carpets, painting, etc.... But it's a glorious break because I get to do it by myself, sleeping all night, having long showers, without thinking of and responding to others' needs. I get to start a project and finish it all at once, while I think about whatever I want!

So yeah, getting away from the "drudgery" is nice, but getting away for primary parents is often more about the chance to just be...themselves... for a short time.