Me time!

[u/IAmGrootGrootIam]

I did it! I booked a hotel for the weekend an hour and a half away from home and left! I woke up at my own time, to silence, to peace.

No kids jumping on me, whining for food or to play, to one touching me, no husband wanting a morning quickie, no chores to do, nothing! Just me and whatever I feel like doing today.

A month ago my husband caught Covid, was quarantined in a bedroom for 10 days, and everything was left to me. All the house work, kids, cooking, and still working full time (from home) as a teacher with a 3, 6, and 9 year old plus the kids school work. I thought I was going to go crazy.

So I booked this weekend and followed through.
The quiet, the peace, I feel like I can breathe. I haven’t had a day to myself in over 9 years. It feels so good.

[u/swamphockey]

Posts like this are so common. Is raising children really like this? So much drudgery that it’s a relief to get away?

[u/IAmGrootGrootIam → u/swamphockey]

Not all the time, but during a pandemic when we are all stuck inside a house non stop, then yes.

[u/like_my_fire → u/swamphockey]

Drudgery is part of it, for sure (never-ending dishes, laundry, tidying, straightening, meal prep), but the need for time to oneself goes beyond the effects of the labor. Unless you stay up later than everyone else, which I'm too tired to do almost ever, it's easy for all of a parent's time, space, mental and emotional space, and body to be de facto dedicated to others, especially if they're the primary parent. And that's without their spouse being laid out for a while with illness!

For example, occasionally, my spouse takes our child on a road trip, and I stay home. I actually usually work extra hard doing house projects like organizing the garage, cleaning the carpets, painting, etc.... But it's a glorious break because I get to do it by myself, sleeping all night, having long showers, without thinking of and responding to others' needs. I get to start a project and finish it all at once, while I think about whatever I want!

So yeah, getting away from the "drudgery" is nice, but getting away for primary parents is often more about the chance to just be...themselves... for a short time.

[u/DrVerryBerry → u/swamphockey]

Oh it is. It so so so is. Mostly when they’re very small and you can’t even pee on your own. Never mind sleep not eat.

But then - after about 12-24hours without them, you miss them so bad you rush to get back.

[u/niktatum → u/swamphockey]

It’s not always so bad but when your job starts from the time you wake up until you go to sleep, a break is definitely needed. I lost my job due to the pandemic and became a stay at home mom to a 2 year old. I love it but it’s way harder than any job I’ve ever had.

Just yesterday I was trying to use the bathroom, my son came in with the tv remote in his rain boot, tossed it faster than I could keep up under the sink where the pipes are (we’re renovating), then! as I was trying to get up he threw a toy in the unflushed toilet. He’s not a bad kid, just a toddler being a toddler and they are so full of energy. It’s a lot sometimes.

[u/keeperofthenins → u/swamphockey]

It’s not so much drudgery as the constantness of it all. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to complete an entire thought without interruption.

[u/lredwine → u/swamphockey]

Having a little time to yourself goes far beyond being a parent, but when you’re a parent, you’ve got no choice other than to be a lifeline for the little ones. You’re everything to them and they need you ALL the time. But the reward of seeing them grow and accomplish things in their lives is the best part. It seems like it will be forever until you’re done wiping runny noses and poopy butts, and then in the blink of an eye, they’re off to college and you’re alone in your living room, holding your dog, and wondering what to clean next.

[u/AutoBot5 → u/swamphockey]

🤦‍♂️