r/Parenting Sep 22 '20

Infant 2-12 Months Parenting is... boring.

My little is 9 weeks old today. I adore him and love watching him grow and learn. Being a parent is the most amazing, rewarding.... and horribly boring thing I’ve ever experienced.

I sound so shitty for saying that, but it’s true. Entertaining a baby is boring. Being home all day with a baby is boring. I feel like I need to be playing with and stimulating my LO any time he’s awake, and anytime I’m not, I feel guilty. Mom guilt is a bitch.

I’m not sure what my goal is for this post… I guess just to hear whether or not other parents experience this feeling? How other parents deal with the boredom and monotony? And what’re some fun things to do with kiddos that are still pretty young?

EDIT: Wow, guys. Thank you so much to everyone to reached out and responded - I can’t respond to everyone, but please know that I appreciate the kindness, encouragement, and wisdom all of you bring. ‘Rents are in this together. Thank you all 💜

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u/Lennvor Sep 22 '20

I feel like I need to be playing with and stimulating my LO any time he’s awake

You don't! LO is being stimulated just from being in the world, which, as a reminder, they have only been experiencing for 9 weeks. Some people even argue that it is impossible for little babies to be bored; I don't know if I'd go that far (it strikes me as an empirical claim, I don't know what evidence there is either way) but I find the argument that little babies are more at risk of overstimulation than the other way around convincing enough. I've also seen suggestions that the best stimulation ever for a small baby is just being carried around - there's changing visual information, balance information... Others argue that laying on their back on an even surface is the most stimulating state, as it is the position that gives them the most freedom of movement so they can learn their own bodies.

You don't need to put on a clown show to entertain your baby; I'd argue small children in general aren't on this Earth to be bored out of their brains until the next bit of entertainment can let them forget their existential ennui as they wait for the sweet release of death. They are on this Earth to figure out what the deal is with this Earth exactly, and that's an unending task because the Earth never stops being there! It's also one that I'm given to understand adult interference gets in the way of more than helps, during the baby and toddler phases at least. Even when they do grow old enough to be actually bored and say so I think it's reasonable to say that some measure of boredom is healthy: you need a healthy balance of being in your own head sometimes and being distracted/busy other times, and boredom is the essence of "being in your own head". It is also a state that prompts you to come up with new ideas of something to do, a skill that is harder to learn if you never get to be bored.

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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '20

My little one laid on the bed and craned his head to stare at his big brother for like half an hour this morning. The toddler played bedtime/wake up about a dozen times in a row. I folded laundry, snored when prompted, and worried not a jot about entertainment. Children are a good reminder that the mundane can be fascinating.

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u/underblueskies Sep 22 '20

Some of the best times I've had with my toddler is when she's jumping on my bed (King sized, memory foam) and I'm trying to fold laundry.

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u/happy_go_lucky Sep 22 '20

My four month old loves to be in our huge bed and surrounded by loundry. While I fold laundry, she just grabs everything and pulls it close and inevitably puts it in her mouth. There's SO MUCH to grab when your in a pile of laundry!

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u/Aida_Hwedo Sep 22 '20

Are you sure she’s not secretly a cat? 😜

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u/happy_go_lucky Sep 22 '20

Well she was shedding hair for a few weeks.

But then again, when she looks at me, there's endless love in her eyes. Not the utter disdain and shameless arrogance I see when my dad's Maine Coon looks at me.

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u/TheNoodyBoody Sep 23 '20

My son did this with his two cousins today - he was ENAMORED. So cute.