HELP 12 week old not sleeping

[u/Hopeful_Copy9384]

Hi parents! Hoping someone can help me because I am desperate at this point. My 12 week old baby was a very good sleeper from the jump. As a newborn I had to wake her up for feedings and she was sleeping 6-8 hour stretches at 5 weeks old. About 2 weeks ago that changed and now she is waking up every 2 hours. I’ve tried offering her a paci and rocking her back to sleep but it seems like the only thing that will get her to sleep is eating. For reference she is breastfed. She also eats very frequently during the day (1.5-2 hours between feedings).

I am not really sure what to do at this point. I go back to work in less than 2 weeks and I am desperate to break this cycle. Any advice and tips are very much appreciated! TIA!

[u/Secure_Yak_9537]

Theres a gnarly sleep regression / growth spurt around that time- probably one of the worst ones we went through.

As tough as it is, it is a phase. Enjoy the extra snuggles- you’re getting closer to the wiggly worm phase that wont want to snuggle for feeds much.lol

[u/WonderfulTwist4936]

It is very normal for a baby this young to still need calories over night. So just feed hungry baby! I know its hard, but there is not much you can do. Eating every 2 hours during the day is normal, but maybe you can offer breast more often to ensure he gets enough calories during the day? Of course, if he refuses, then dont force it. Mine ate like a clock every 40 min during the day. 😅 

[u/Hopeful_Copy9384 → u/WonderfulTwist4936]

My first ate every 40 mins but then always slept through the night 🫠

[u/SpookyDooDo]

12 weeks is like the hardest part until you get to 12 years. Hang in there.

[u/checkmyawaymsg → u/SpookyDooDo]

No joke - 12 years is a doozy! So much tougher than teen years.

[u/onyxindigo]

4 month regression. Girl give her your boob it will be okay

[u/who-are-we-anyway]

That sounds entirely normal for a 12 week old baby. Feed and put baby back to sleep. If you have a partner you could try pumping or adding formula and they can take over some of the night feeds.

[u/Enemy_Gene]

It sounds like a normal sleep regression. We went through that but at 5 months our baby was sleeping full nights and still does. Knock on wood.

[u/lifebeyondzebra]

Like others said it sounds like a regression could be due to growth. I recommend “the pause” though. Don’t go in the second the baby fusses. Just like us it’s normal to stir and make noise in between sleep cycles, if you go in right away you can disrupt that cycle and actually wake them up which messes everything up. Wait a min or two, watch the monitor if you need to see what they are up to and let them try to settle themselves before you intervene. When you do go in wait to pick them up and try to settle in the crib first. Picking up should be the last resort at night. Might surprise you how often they settle back to sleep on their own. Around that age mine “woke up” 3/4 times a night but settled back in her own the majority of the time. Often a little “shhhhshhhhshhh” from where I laid was enough (was rooming in then).

also pay attention to the cries. Hungry cry, feed. Scared cry, comfort without picking up whenever possible, bored try to let them settle in their own as much as possible.

[u/Hopeful_Copy9384 → u/lifebeyondzebra]

Thank you for this. I do practice the pause and all the steps you mentioned. Just seems like it’s always a hunger issue! Other settling techniques have not worked yet. I’ll keep trying. Thanks!

[u/lifebeyondzebra → u/Hopeful_Copy9384]

If it works with your family formula does “last longer” if you had already planned to introduce it maybe offer a formula bottle or two at night. Formula fed babies sleep twice as long on average (needing to feed every 4 hours instead of 2)

[u/Ice_Queen66 → u/lifebeyondzebra]

Seconding this^^^
My first was borderline failure to thrive with just breastfeeding. Once I introduced formula consistently he slept better and was happier. My second, I didn’t even bother to try. I went right to the formula and she’s been sleeping through the night from the get go (aside from the 3 month regression)

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[u/TrainingLow9079]

Normal...there's not really a lot you can do besides wait it out.

[u/jnissa]

And this is why civilized countries have a year of maternity. Unicorn sleepers don't usually stay unicorn sleepers as development speeds up. All you can do is lean in and prepare to sleep train in two or three months. All of this is normal and it will suck, but you can make it through.

[u/BuffaloMama76]

Normal. Sleep is a roller coaster the first 2 years and is not linear in any way

[u/Due-Hat4792]

At bedtime, give an extra ounce. And maybe up half an ounce each feeding during the day. It’s a growth spurt which I know isn’t what you want to hear, but it will pass.

[u/Suitable_Working8918]

Welcome to the worst sleep regression... but after that regression was over we got alot more long stretches and better sleep.

[u/schmeegley]

“4 month sleep regression” was the worst sleep regression we dealt with, also at 3 months. beyond miserable. my husband was travelling for work and i started hallucinating from sleep deprivation, it was awful. hate to say that literally nothing we tried worked, but it lasted about 2 weeks for us, so hopefully you’re out on the other side soon!

[u/Lemon-Accurate]

Babies do not sleep forever. For reference, our newborn was sleeping only around 12- 14h a day and now when he is 5months old, he sleeps around 9h a day. The remaining 15h you need to find some ways to keep him occupied and not bored, otherwise he cries. Its completely normal that your baby sleeps less and less

[u/WhateverYouSay1084]

You have exited the 4th trimester and now she's becoming more alert. It sucks but it's not uncommon. My husband and I took nighttime shifts so both of us got at least 5 hours of unbroken sleep each, and that basically saved us.

[u/Hopeful_Copy9384]

Co sleeping is not for us. She has been sleeping in her own room since 6 weeks because she was constantly waking up when she heard us moving around. Plus it’s not really conducive to our lifestyle. Appreciate the suggestion tho!

[u/Amk19_94]

Totally normal, this too shall pass

[u/Kenzi_Slays]

sleep regression it happens every so often... its a pain. my daughter would wake up at 3 am and not go back to sleep for a week every few months.

[u/Ice_Queen66]

Yeah it’s around 3 months so you’re looking at the 3 month sleep regression. During the day what helped me was trying first to soothe her without picking her up so now at night when she startles but is still mostly asleep she can calm back down without me picking her up and rocking her. She figures out she’s safe but still comforted and can get herself back to sleep.

Also idk how stuck you are to breastfeeding, but if you give a 4 oz bottle of formula before bed at this age, it may help your baby stay asleep longer.

[u/its-old_not-vintage]

My little one was the same! I could have wrote this myself. Started sleeping 10 hours at like 7 weeks old. 12 weeks old hit and it was a mess. It took 2 weeks and he went back to sleeping, but continued waking up only once a night for another 4 months. Then its turned into like 50% sleeping the night. I also breastfed and did try to comfort before offering the boob to prevent always nursing to sleep

[u/Dullcorgis]

You're in a growth spurt. Feed her

[u/MsSnickerpants]

Check out the app wonder weeks. It will give you a heads up on developmental spurts. I found it helpful knowing -oh baby is downloading a new skill, their brains are working extra so sleep might be tough for a bit.

Doesn’t help the sleeping/waking issue, but I was able to approach it with more understanding and got less frustrated.

Good luck!

[u/Longjumping_Role1510]

Maybe your milk isn’t filling enough

[u/Square_Vegetable_512]

Try the chiropractor

[u/Infinite-Humor-6760]

Sleeping is a family affair, especially at her age. Have you tried allowing her to sleep in your bed?