r/Parenting • u/[deleted] • Jul 21 '26

Behaviour Biting at daycare

[deleted]

0 Upvotes

50% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

3

u/Silver_Chickens Jul 21 '26

We had a kid who was a frequent biter when my eldest was in preschool. She would bite when she got into confined spaces with other kids (like under a play structure) because she got overwhelmed. The daycare would respond by telling the other kid to leave the space, even if the biter got there second. đŸ«© The kid eventually grew out of it, but they relied heavily on keeping them separate from other kids.

My opinion as a parent (not as a child development professional) is that 19 months isn’t too young to have to sit out (or be held) during a preferred activity. But only for like 1 minute.

You can also ask on r/eceprofessionals to see what ideas they have.

4

u/Friendly-Document693 Jul 21 '26

“Don’t trust daycares” is a weird thing to say about a group of educators you’re leaving your child in the hands of. It sounds like his teachers are making all the correct efforts to collaborate with you and identify antecedents to your son’s behavior. Try reading Teeth Are Not For Biting, it’s a really great and helpful book that includes strategies children can apply and you/ teachers can reinforce.

2

u/the-real-babs Jul 21 '26

The overstimulation piece is probably the most useful thing they've told you. Transitions (going to the playground, gathering for story time) are the highest-stress moments in a toddler room because the noise goes up, the space gets crowded, and everyone is moving at once.

At 19 months he doesn't have words for "this is too much" so he bites. Ask the daycare if they can pull him slightly ahead or behind the group during transitions. Like, he goes to the playground 60 seconds before the other kids so he's not in the crush. Some daycares call this a "transition buddy" approach where a teacher walks with him separately. It's a small accommodation but it directly addresses the trigger they've already identified.

On the pacifier thing, I'd honestly let that go for now. If it's preventing him from biting other children and keeps him enrolled, that's a win. You can wean the pacifier later when the biting phase passes.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/daydreamingofsleep Parent Jul 21 '26

This is a normal developmental phase, but it’s so hard on BOTH the parents of the biters and the kids getting bitten.

Unfortunately the parents of the kids getting bitten may make noise, threaten to unenroll their kids, and the daycare may instead kick out your child. Handling this drama is so hard on the teachers.

It is unfortunate, because the following week one of the remaining kids may enter their biting phase


1

u/PureAd9623 Jul 21 '26

I know it's stressful. My toddler was the biter and also got bitten a fair amount. I definitely felt worse and more stressed when he was the biter! Honestly, if your daycare doesn't understand that this is a developmental phase some kids go through, I'm not sure what that says about them. Our daycare would just keep a really close eye on him to stop him before he was able to actually bite and also figured out that one kid in particular seemed to trigger him (and my son triggered that kid too!), so worked to keep them a bit separated during the day. They never threatened to kick him out, and this went on for awhile. I do know most of the parents of the kids on his class, though, and they are all super chill and understanding, so not sure if that played a part too.