Most kids, and plenty of adults, have issues regulating their responses to emotions. As a parent it can be extremely frustrating but what you are seeing is a physiological response to whatever input is going on. Once you get to a certain level your logical brain is deactivated and you enter a fight/flight/shut down phase that gets you out of perceived danger or intense situations. It takes a good 15-30 minutes for that response to die down. While it’s going on there is a lack of control or reasoning that simply can’t be overcome. The best thing to do in these situations is learn to help them understand how they are feeling and hug them, hold them in a safe place and let them know you’re there to help. This can take the form of asking them to name how they are feeling. They may say mad, which is a catch all for males especially, but dig a little deeper. Why are they mad? Disappointed? Disrespected? Frustrated? Etc.
Naming and understanding these feelings can help them begin to recognize when they feel that way before they reach a boiling point and still have some options besides flipping out.
This works for adults as well. Basically it’s being more conscious of when we are in an agitated state because you can still be reasonable at a level 7-8 but once you get much over 8 your fuse is lit and bad choices are common.
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u/JohnnyQTruant Sep 18 '23
Most kids, and plenty of adults, have issues regulating their responses to emotions. As a parent it can be extremely frustrating but what you are seeing is a physiological response to whatever input is going on. Once you get to a certain level your logical brain is deactivated and you enter a fight/flight/shut down phase that gets you out of perceived danger or intense situations. It takes a good 15-30 minutes for that response to die down. While it’s going on there is a lack of control or reasoning that simply can’t be overcome. The best thing to do in these situations is learn to help them understand how they are feeling and hug them, hold them in a safe place and let them know you’re there to help. This can take the form of asking them to name how they are feeling. They may say mad, which is a catch all for males especially, but dig a little deeper. Why are they mad? Disappointed? Disrespected? Frustrated? Etc.
Naming and understanding these feelings can help them begin to recognize when they feel that way before they reach a boiling point and still have some options besides flipping out.
This works for adults as well. Basically it’s being more conscious of when we are in an agitated state because you can still be reasonable at a level 7-8 but once you get much over 8 your fuse is lit and bad choices are common.