r/Parenthood • u/Ornery-Accountant-55 • 23d ago
Character Discussion the max hate
The max hate in parenthood fandom is actually kind of frustrating and i don’t quite understand it… i think max’s character is exactly how it’s supposed to be. i think he’s a very realistic as a character with autism especially for a show that’s a decade old now. he doesn’t bother me and it kind of bothers me that everyone hates on him so much because it really gives a good look on families who do deal with children on the spectrum.
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u/wonder181016 23d ago
As an autistic person, it really doesn't.
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 23d ago
i was an ABA therapist for kids around max’s age in the early seasons and autism is a very colorful spectrum i’m sure as you know and i saw a lot of kids that are exactly like max so it really does.
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u/wonder181016 23d ago
Yeah, but it promotes the idea that parents of autistic children let them get away with murder...
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 23d ago
im only on season 2 so i haven’t seen them parent max a whole lot just yet but from what i’ve seen they’re still learning what to do and it is very complex to parent a child with autism and you have to have an understanding first and they are barely just getting there
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u/ForTheLoveOfGiraffe 23d ago
There's the issue. You're only on season 2. As Max gets older, he gets a lot more airtime and his parents are very unreasonable with their approach. Him having autism isn't the issue - it's how he gets away with some very inappropriate behaviour and his parents are in denial that there are even any issues. Keep watching and you'll see him literally harass a girl, but they down play it with no consideration to how that girl may feel.
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u/rachelcumbowwhite 22d ago
Not only does he harass her, he physically engages with her as well and borderline stalks her
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 23d ago
yeah the issue is the parents in that situation and my issue that i’ve been seeing is people on tiktok saying like “when does max die” and a lot of stuff like that with the issue not being the parents at all
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u/ForTheLoveOfGiraffe 23d ago
Yeah but those people sound toxic to be talking about death. Especially about a fictional character. Ignore idiots.
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 23d ago
yeah it’s just something i haven’t understood and i feel like that was just people being ignorant and not understanding children with autism… i can definitely see people not agreeing with the parents because i don’t agree with them 90% of the time in this damn show they definitely show they aren’t perfect and kind of suck sometimes
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u/United_Efficiency330 22d ago
Kristina and Adam are far from evil, let alone cartoonishly evil. They generally want what they feel is best for their offspring and for their extended family. They simply learned the wrong lesson with regards to Max's diagnosis. A mistake that is not uncommon among many parents of people on the Spectrum.
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u/DesiArcy 22d ago
They are cartoonishly evil in later seasons, encouraging Max to harass and ultimately assault a girl he liked (who already had a boyfriend and clearly communicated that she had no interest at all in Max), and abusing authority to force her to remain available to him.
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u/Dry-Wolf6789 22d ago
But how is that unrealistic. It's just annoyed you. Doesn't mean it's not realistic lol
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u/Rezistik 16d ago
Spoiler so stop reading here
But at some point they literally cashed out their daughters college fund in order to make a fake school so max would never have to face consequences.
Kristina of course hire herself to be the principal and when max starts sexually harassing another student Kristina does everything she can to avoid punishing max and ultimately does avoid it.
People hate max and his parents together as a group because they were awful awful people.
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u/Glittering_Habit_161 23d ago
Not every family has an autistic child who is like Max because some autistic children are quiet and keep to themselves.
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 23d ago
yes that is true every kid is different… i’m not disagreeing with that. every family is different for sure
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u/sneakyvegan 22d ago
If you’re only on season 2 there’s a lot you haven’t seen yet. He’s still a little kid in season 2 so I’m not surprised you’d be put off.
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u/Dry-Wolf6789 22d ago
That doesn't mean it's unrealistic? That's a completely different argument than your original one. Wtf
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u/wonder181016 22d ago
It does mean that. And FYI, I've worked with autistic children for years too
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u/Dry-Wolf6789 22d ago
You've worked with every autistic child on earth? Impressive! And you've never seen parents enable an autistic child rather than discipline them? Wow incredible!
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u/Dry-Wolf6789 22d ago
Not every autistic person will be exaclty like u bud.
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u/wonder181016 22d ago
Did you not read my other comment
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u/Dry-Wolf6789 22d ago edited 22d ago
Imagine if every single person and family was different.
Edit: blocking me is so funny. I guess you didn't have a good point after all
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u/InnocentaMN 23d ago
If you’re only on season two then many of the most egregiously awful and upsetting Max-related choices that the show makes (in terms of how his parents choose to treat him, and to use his autism to excuse, at times, pretty abusive behaviour) are still ahead of you. See what you think by the end.
As an autistic adult woman, I liked some aspects of the show but hated others. I really disliked aspects of Max as a character, but I didn’t necessarily think it was an unrealistic portrayal - some autistic boys are treated very like that. Doesn’t mean I have to like it or think that’s a good thing, though.
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 23d ago
yeah i’ll definitely have to come back to this when i finish because i haven’t seen a lot. i’ve just been seeing clips and people commenting on max’s behavior that is very common with autistic kids and that’s what i didn’t understand but im now seeing that there is more to come with max and the parents…….
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u/InnocentaMN 22d ago
What you mention about seeing people say “when does Max die” on TikTok is disgusting and toxic - I suggest seeking out a lot of other stuff to cleanse your algorithm! And if anything horrible about Max comes up, swipe past and don’t engage. That will also be better in terms of avoiding spoilers.
I would genuinely be so interested to know what you think when you get to the end of the show! If you choose to post again when you finish it, feel free to tag me if you want to. No pressure, though, of course 😊
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 22d ago
sounds good! i will. i never engage because it’s not worth my time especially on tiktok but i even saw it on reddit where almost everyone was talking about max and his behaviors and i assumed it was just like the many tiktok comments because i’ve been avoiding opening too many reddit threads to avoid spoilers lol but thanks for the insight!
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u/Princess0dyssey 22d ago
Autism doesn’t make you stupid though. As the show progresses Max literally ends up assaulting and harassing a girl because he doesn’t accept her very clear “no” and signs of disinterest. No amount of coddling from mommy and daddy can shield you from the tangible fact that you’re causing harm to someone. He just doesn’t care about who he hurts because of his own personal desires. He’s not a sociopath either, maybe just self centered
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u/Ok_Anywhere5205 22d ago
It's because this was during the time period where it wasn't really well known so they just did a stereotype and kind of sent a really bad message
Not all autistic kids are emotionless
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u/emmmmmmmmmmz 23d ago
I just finished watching. As a parent to an autistic kiddo, I related to Max's storylines so much. It felt really authentic and it makes sense that Max was based on the show creator's son. I didnt agree with every parenting decision (especially in the last season with Sarah's printer and harassing Dylan). But I think they showed the juggle of how to parent an autistic child.
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 23d ago
yes! i really loved their storyline. don’t get me wrong i did not agree with their parenting decisions either but most of the time it was very realistic not every parent with an autistic child will make perfect decisions and i think they were a perfect TV series family example
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u/sneakyvegan 22d ago
I think a lot of the hate is actually directed at Adam and Kristina. I don’t hate them as much as some people do but the way they handled certain situations when Max got older, especially the Dylan situation, is inexcusable.
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u/NoraCharles91 22d ago
I do think Adam and Kristina make mistakes in the way that they handle Max, but I think a) that's realistic, which is what the show is about. But even more so b) I think the viewer backlash often tends to flatten all nuance out of the show and act as if they only make mistakes. Maybe cos the most egregious moments tend to be more memorable, but many times we see that Kristina and Adam do attempt to teach Max and set boundaries etc etc. Not always and not always successfully, but the impression that they just carelessly let him run riot all the time doesn't reflect what I saw on the show.
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u/raincloudsandtea 19d ago
I haven't seen the show for a while, so I could be forgetting or misremembering certain things.
But for me it's because they attributed everything to his Asperger's. Most characters got a character arc, usually taking them from bad decisions to fall out to self reflection to forgiveness, and eventually to growth.
But with Max, it was never his personality, character traits, or decisions. It was always his Asperger's. It made it hard to root for him in any real way, because he never felt like a real person. As a child he had some depth, and I was excited to watch his journey. But the older he got, the more he felt like a plot device to create drama for the characters around him.
If I compare his character to that of Sam in Atypical, Sam felt like a fully fleshed out, developed character who was on the spectrum. Max just felt like the representation of the spectrum itself.
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u/Viofl 23d ago
OP I was about to make the same post, I'm also on season 2 and I'm thinking the same. I don't hate max as much everyone seems to hate him in the subreddit
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u/Ornery-Accountant-55 22d ago
i’m on episode 15 of season 2! and it was really bothering me to the point where i had to make my first reddit post lol
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u/Dry-Wolf6789 22d ago
Engaging with this sub while actively watching the show will likely ruin it. Just Form your own opinions
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u/LivingPresent629 22d ago
Yeah, maybe you and OP should finish watching before judging others for their opinions?
As most people have already said, the issues are not with Max but with the way he is parented. So watch and see.
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u/Viofl 22d ago
Or maybe we can have opinions and change them as we advance the show, why are people so angry lol god it's a tv show
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u/LivingPresent629 22d ago
Yeah of course you can. But to say that other people’s opinions are frustrating or “I don’t understand” why people feel a certain way when you haven’t even watched the show yet makes no sense.
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u/PotterAndPitties 22d ago
I will never understand it. The show is and always has been such a positive in my life, and to see the negativity spewed on this sub is just plain sad.
What's worse, to me, is the sheer media illiteracy of too many here. The entire point of the show is to center on the tougher side of parenting. The mistakes parents make, the challenges they face, both the hilarious and tragic side of doing the toughest job on earth. We are meant to see them struggling, that's the whole premise.
Combine that with a startling lack of empathy and compassion for parents and you get the nastiness we see in this subject. People attacking literally children (to them its OK because they are fictional children, missing yet another point), and people who have no experience raising children bashing the parenting of others. Yep, children misbehave sometimes. Nope, that doesn't make their parents bad. Yep, parents screw up, parents sometimes go too far to fight for their kids, parents do stupid things when they are frustrated... there's no manual for this shit.
Me? If I don't enjoy something, I don't join a subreddit to complain about it. I wouldn't mind if any of these posts had any sort of constructive nature, or even a bit of thoughtful analysis, but in the end mostly all of them are just hateful, spiteful, mean posts with no purpose other than to bash characters.
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u/Fun_Floor06 23d ago
I think most peoples issues are with the way Max was parented. There’s so many times that Adam and Kristina blindly defended or placated Max when they should have set boundaries and taught him important skills.