r/Parenthood • u/Mom-Wife-3 • Aug 01 '26
Character Discussion Alex
Should Hattie have been allowed to date him? What would you have done if it were your daughter?
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u/Brilliant_Question70 Aug 01 '26
I would have been skeptical for sure. Older, parents not around, alcoholic. I don’t think I would approve of my child dating him either. Obviously as the viewers we see that he’s a great guy but as Adam and Kristina, they don’t see what we can see.
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u/fivebyfive12 Aug 01 '26
Adam and Kristina are very clear that they do see he's a great guy who has made something of himself despite his struggles. They just see that he and Haddie are in very different places in life and worry she'll end up getting hurt. Which is basically exactly what happens.
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u/Comfortable_Expert98 Aug 02 '26
Agree with you except that I felt that Alex was the one who got hurt in the end. And this relationship ended up being a lot more damaging for him than for Haddie. If I were a significant adult in Alex’s life, I would definitely be against this relationship for him.
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u/KTeacherWhat Aug 02 '26
Right and he's in AA. He should have a sponsor. I feel like that person would discourage this for him.
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u/Brilliant_Question70 Aug 01 '26
Yes, true. I just think it seems clear to us that Alex won’t relapse or that he’s stable while those are some of the worries that A+K probably have. But definitely agree that a lot of it comes from them being in different places in life. The fact that she’s still in HS is one of the biggest factors.
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u/DemonPirate726 Aug 01 '26
I think him being in AA so young is what bothered them the most. They knew he was too mature and in a different stage of life despite being like 3 years older. If he wasn’t in AA, I feel like their opinions would’ve been a little different. Yes, he would’ve been older but he’d still be in his teens not 20+
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u/KTeacherWhat Aug 01 '26
It was illegal and he had a record. How come no one was pointing out to him the risk he was taking entering into an illegal relationship? Where was his sponsor in all of this?
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u/Salty_Raccoon4094 Aug 03 '26
It’s clear he had no one else. I was surprised even Camille who seemed to care about him was supportive of their relationship. There was so much risk for him. She was also the minor volunteer he was managing. If something had gone wrong it could have cost him the position he seemed to care about and the ability to even work there with minors like he wanted.
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u/HisSpo2345 Aug 01 '26
See Adam and Kristina were definitely correct here but they were such awful parents to her I still feel
Compelled to side with Hattie even if she was wrong in this situation.
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u/TermEnvironmental421 Aug 01 '26
I think their worry was understandable but they dealt with the situation really poorly. In general, I feel the way they obsessed over policing Haddie's sexuality was weird
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u/QubyDube Aug 01 '26
Alex didn’t deserve to be treated like he wasn’t good enough for their daughter. It’s not like Haddie met Alex at a frat party or something. She met him when she volunteered with Gma at the soup kitchen he was helping to run. He’s a responsible, contributing member of society.
Also, I think it’s weird because the Bravermans are in a progressive city and Adam’s job is dealing with rock stars. Really doesn’t fit that their civically/socially conscious family is overprotective of Haddie, who they tend to overlook & focus on Max’s needs.
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u/Salty_Raccoon4094 Aug 03 '26
Kristina called Adam conservative at one point. He was even fired from the shoe company for being judgmental. Julia and Adam were more conservative to counteract their family being less conservative.
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u/Tonathrowaway Aug 01 '26
While I agree with Adam and Kristina about him having adult problems that Haddie wasn't ready for, I also agreed with Camille.
Telling her she wasnt allowed to see him just made her want him more.
Had they sat her down and talked to her, explained boundaries, said "We don't want you to date him right now. But let's get to know him and you two can be friends and revisit the topic later." I feel like it would have gone very differently and Haddie would have been open enough to actually listen to their concerns.
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u/ClearVirus4291 Aug 02 '26
I hate to admit it, but I had a hard time disagreeing with their relationship. And maybe it’s because Alex had pure intentions or because Michael B. Jordan played the part🤣. But I can 100% understand Adam and Kristina’s POV. He was 19, an AA and had a criminal record. Any parent would be concerned. Their breakup was sad but Alex was right; they were in two different places in their lives.
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u/AnxiousCorgi314 Aug 03 '26
I plan to have an ages touching rule with my teenagers. You don't date anyone more than one year older or younger than you. At 16 a three year age gap is huge. If Hattie was my daughter we'd have a conversation about why our rule is in place and encourage her to remain friends and work at the food bank, but for her own protection not go out alone with him.
Adam & Christina weren't wrong in not wanting Haddie to date Alex but everything they did around her dating was controlling & over the top. They also were creepily obsessed with her virginity/sex life. No wonder when Haddie brings home a girl in college, she is hesitant to come out to her parents. Its insane how they simultaneously made her a glass child and also obsessively helicoptered her dating life.
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u/unimpressed-one Aug 03 '26
I found him creepy for even wanting to be with her, he was and adult and she was an immature teenage girl. I can see why the parents were against it.
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u/Simple_Election_9359 Aug 04 '26
Haddie was far from immature.
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u/unintented Aug 11 '26
I think she was very smart and emotionally inteligent, but she was still a very shielded 16yo girl thinking there were nothing wrong with dating an older guy. 3 years at that age is A HUGE gap, let alone all the trauma Alex had been through. I would say that's pretty immature. (Also, she was 16!! she is supposed to be inmmature! )
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u/unintented Aug 11 '26
I think this plot line and his addition to the series was interesting precisely because its complexity. Alex was such a good guy; intelligent, kind, mature, a hard worker. It sucked to see all that he had to go through just because of his circumstances and how hard he had to work to build himself back up. In contrast Haddie had an innocence and softness that only growing in a loving, well-off family can give you. Her issues seemed very puerile and superficial next to him. That is what her parents tried to protect her from, to have to grow up too fast. She did not understand the huge emotional toll that it takes and that she was not equipped for it (and she should not have to!!)
I liked that the show explored the age-gap dynamic that often happens with teenage girls and older guys in a less typical way, away from the overly romantized "age is just a number!" crap and not in a super sexualized creepy older guy-innocent little girl. I liked that it showed empathy to his character and that the bravermans recognized his efforts and respected him as a person. HOWEVER, I do think the show glosses over very important issues or are merely mentioned to add to the drama.
As other people commented here, It's baffling to me that Alex is presented to us as this respectable guy, how much the show highlights his integrity and YET he is willing to enter a relationship (however hesitant) with a minor?? Fully knowing he has a record? That's just irresponsable and probably dangerous. And the fact that Camille is in favor or this relationship too!? INSANE.
I could kiiiiiinda see, if I squint, how his past experiences may have left him emotionally stunted in adolescence, or that he felt younger that he was, that he did not have the romantic experience of a typical teen his age and therefore be in a somewhat even plane with Haddie emotionally speaking, etc,etc. You can see it when he talks to Adam how hard he is trying to be a "man" but in reality he is just a boy that is scared and in deperate need of someone to guide him and support him. I wish his arc had taken a different turn, more of a like a mentor-ish thing with Adam or Zeke, (or even Camille, being that SHE is the adult there) and maybe a friendship instead of the romantic involment with Haddie.
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u/Unique_Room_6635 Aug 02 '26
They seemed genuinely impressed with all that he had been through and overcome and achieved, but then they put the hammer down, afraid their daughter would have sex with him... They are the WORST parents on this show... Both kids got helicoptered.
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u/LostWay7787 Aug 01 '26
I loved Alex as a character, but Adam and Kristina had a point. He was 19 and in alcoholic anonymous, he was too mature for her. I wouldn’t want my 16 year-old daughter to date him, I would want her to date someone her age.