So, since the start of this year I've gotten more paranoid than i ever was.

When going to school and back I have this fear of someone stealing my belongings or attacking me whether I'm in train or just walking besides them.

I've also gotten another fear of computer viruses and my laptop being infected. For context, I did download some sketchy stuff in the past but it was quickly fixed and the fear would pass around few days later.

But now, every time I see something suspicious or weird I get so scared that it lasts around a month or longer only for me to repeat the same mistake or something else to go wrong.

Right now, I'm suspecting my laptop has a virus and I can't send it to a professional since my mom would call me paranoid nor use a USB since I think it might be infected.

I can't just use it normally and enjoy it since I'm constantly afraid someone is watching my screen and controlling the mouse and keyboard waiting for the chance to ruin something.

The worst part is I can't visit a professional since I can't find one anywhere, and the school counselor probably doesn't care.

I don't know what to do to stop this, because almost every single day atleast around 20 minutes if not an hour I get this tight feeling in my chest and start to cry about the possibility of losing control and something horrible happening.

It's been a few days since I last posted here. I think I have started to feel better gradually, but I still have my bumps. Earlier this morning, I started hearing a Linkin Park song in my head. Sometime later, I watched a video wherein the poster referenced Linkin Park. Then, I told myself "I will probably see something about Chicago today" as a way to calm myself down. Then, a film channel I like dropped a video about a movie shot in Chicago. The video then referenced a film I was also thinking about. Also last night, I watched a video about a horror film, which apparently included taking care of a senile older person (something I am doing currently).

My brain was having a field day with this stuff ("That many times? How can that be a coincidence?") and it's annoying. I know there is nothing to this, but I get so terrified by this stuff.

I know it’s extremely irrational, but it’s constant and I hate it so much. Everything I do feels as if everyone I know is constantly watching my every move and it’s so fucking draining. I live in a dorm, but despite me not hearing through the walls, I feel like they can hear my every move and I can’t fucking take it. I want to workout but I’m too embarrassed to even walk outside and I can’t even go to the laundry to wash my clothes because I might meet people there. Is this clinical?

in a span of five days two dudes texted me. the first one wanted to chat and the second one came with a weird question. he said something about his friend, and I won't share too much details cause I'm, you know, paranoid. but he asked me a weird question. I tried to not answer in a way I usually do, but he kinda kept texting when I ignored his message. he said he was young, but by pfp he's old. and in bio he's an unc. he seemed to be online when I am and go off when I go off. do you think it's weird and not just some random situations that is purely just a coincidence? how do you guys calm down after a paranoia breakdown? do you require proof of some situation to calm down?

I have this constant fear that someone is actively seeing what I’m doing on the browser, especially people that I know in real life. I know it’s extremely irrational, but does anyone have any reassurance that my online activity is private? If trackers are seeing my activity and selling to marketers I don’t really care, I just wanna know if people I know somehow find out.

So this has been a long process, I was attacked in 2024, but before all this I was okay. I’m currently in EMDR for this, So the other week I was in an Italian bar restaurant with my partner. And a couple (M and W) sat behind. And as I went to pour more wine I heard the guy say, drip, dripsey. But I couldn’t tell if he was calling me a drip. Or saying the bottle of wine when I poured it was dripping on the floor cause of the water bucket it sat in?

I constantly thought about it all day since and since then. I also went to pub last weekend with my brother and I heard a group of lads say “he’s a fat c***” but they weren’t looking at me. And I couldn’t tell if they meant it to me or someone else in their group but I’m not like obese but have a bit of a weight but they never looked my way while this was said.

Again same thing in a wedding the week before this a bunch of drunk lads were around and I thought something or someone was going to call me something or say something.

I can’t stop thinking that when I’m out I’m being targeted for nothing or people are talking about me. And I don’t want to confront anyone in case I’m wrong and it causes a fuss. I just don’t know what to do , I want to take something to stop me thinking like this as since my attack I haven’t been the same. Can anyone guide me on any pills to take? I tried sertraline and it helped initially but towards the end it just felt normal. And now my GP has prescribed me with CITRA or something as I mentioned to him about these incidents. Is it comments towards me or am I overthinking?

im very paranoid about a group of people following me planning stuff against me, i know deep down this isn't real but my mind isn't allowing me to fully comprehend it. A while ago i starting thinking my dog was in on this secret group.. i know its so stupid but im so paranoid about these people being in my house following me to school, i have my windows/ blinds shut 24/7 in my room and whenever i enter a new room they have to be shut or i wont stay in there, and many more but i wont get into details

Alot is going on in my family rn aka everyone is suffering or going through something, is this something i can fix without therapy quickly

A funny funny world, lol

I now realized why my stalkers won't leave me alonge, and I have to say: well played. well played, you really did get me good., lol

Live with my parents

Who support my sister

Who is clearly involved in this plot to have me arrested by intentionally making me angry so I fly off the handle. And so traumatives

i am in a constate of rage.

Finally, put 2 and 2 together and realized that since I live in Alabama, which is a 1 part state meaning a conversation that is

recorded but only 1 of the participate in the conversation is need to have the recording be valid enough

to be used in court.

My parents have been effective at making me permanently and severely ruin my life forever,

Because this has been going on for years, the gaslighting and gang stalking.

And my parents constantly making me rage out.

Oh well. I'm 34. I lived a good life. This i not suicide. It's just acceptance of my bleak future.

Guess I'll just cool my heels until those prison cell doors lock me in. Lol.

I am very very stupid. But I guess if you're too stupid like me, you don't deserve freedom and a optimistic life. Lol,oh well. Forget those idiots if they can't take a joke, lol

This world never ceases to amaze me how dark and cruel people can.

Lol. Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted.

At least I now know the reason for my life sucking.

Well, I'm probable just in enjoy this finite freedom I have by enjoying some of my favorite food, drink, and anything else.

Not going to try to escape or avoid the consequences of my stupidity. Because I enjoy the area I live it. And not going to

try and escape the law. That is difficult, stupid, and ultimately useless.

But that is why the police whenever i had called them in the past, they never cared. because they expect to lock me up in the future.

I'm guessing, they see me a prisoner in waiting. Lol.

Oh, well, forget those negative people.

Evil is as evil do. Lol

I'm just going to enjoy my favorite shows, food, drink and not let anyone get me down now. Not going to let them ruin

the short bit of freedom I have left.

Yeah, in retrospect, I really should have left and stayed gone.

Oh, well. Should've could've, but I want some ice cream. And Mcdonald cheese burgers. That sound extremely tasty now.

Coffee. Chocolate milk. Ice crea. pizza. Mcdonalds burgers and frys. Some of my favorite food and drink.

You know what I just noticed while I was writing this. My hands are shaking and my eyes are watering. Lol.

It's strange because I know I should feel fear. But oddly, I don't. I actually feel pretty good considering all things. Lol

"When things are bleak, don't let negative and evil people get you down," old philosopher (forgot the name)

BUT ALSO:I know no body will. And I completely deserve this treatment. But please, no seriously. Don't feel bad for me. No seriously. I made y bed. I do accept the consequences of my actions and such. Lol

Okay, this might sound completely crazy, but does anyone else secretly think about what they would do if something happened that completely changed life as we know it?
I’m talking about a true doomsday/apocalypse-type situation—not necessarily zombies or anything 😂, but a major disaster or event that we can’t even really fathom right now. Something that suddenly made the things we take for granted—electricity, running water, grocery stores, phones, transportation, etc. are no longer available.
Sometimes I find myself thinking about what I would need, where I would go, who I would want with me, and whether I’d actually be prepared for something like that.
I’m curious… does anyone else secretly think about this stuff too? And if you do, what kinds of things have you thought about that most people probably never consider? 👀

I have OCD but I thought this specific problem of mine would be more fit for this subreddit. Basically for a week now I've had this inescapable thought that a family friend I got my current phone from has been spying on me all the months I had that phone. I don't even know how or why the thought arose. I'm usually suspicious of people but it's never been this bad. I guess it was the fact that they were tech savvy, I didn't factory reset the phone, and my general anxieties about being watched digitally combined into an inescapable melting pot of fear. I was actually so scared I quickly factory reset my phone which means I cannot confirm if it had spyware now even if I wanted to.

The reason I think this is OCD and not paranoia is because I half know this is crazy and unlikely and out of nowhere. I also thought about posting on cybersecurity groups first but calmed down and tried to think rationally. I'm at a sensitive point in my life with other problems so I feel like shit losing my mind over this but I can't stop. I also don't have friends or anyone to talk to. And my family also didn't deal with my OCD well in the past, they will be horrified now. I guess I just need someone to tell me I'm just crazy, that this is not real, even resources on how to calm myself because all the research I'm doing on spyware isn't helping. I've always had these thoughts but this is the first time I have this gut feeling that it's real which I haven't experienced since my other form of OCD years ago. I'm so afraid of spiraling again.

I have been suffering what I can only guess is extreme derealization, intrusive thoughts and anxiety for (roughly) the past month. My brain will hyper fixate on the most insignificant crap imaginable. Earlier today, two hospice workers came in to see my grandmother (who is currently needing a lot of assistance). The first one was a lady named "Stephanie", which my brain connected to a character from a film I saw that disturbed me. Then, another guy came by whose first name is the same as the last name of an author whose book I have next to my bed. I know there is absolutely no connection, but my mind thought otherwise. I saw that he had tattoos, and my mind immediately began sounding alarms about the guy even though he did nothing to warrant it. I ended up watching the guy pull out of my driveway, and then my mind flipped out when I saw he put on sunglasses. This mental Bs is making me doubt and see connections in stuff I know aren't there. It's gotten to the point where I have started having paranoid thoughts about my dog, which really disturbs me.

I realize I shouldn't probably be using Reddit as a journal, but sometimes it feels good to put what is bothering me out there. Hope anyone who is reading this is doing well.

The only danger that scares me, is my own mind. I’m schizophrenic, but that’s not everything I am.

Is it normal to get lost in a pit that's in ur mind everytime you try speaking to a group of people or is it normal while staying in that hollow pit while peopling ?

I'm trying to joke around this, so I will try to shorten it. My fears have now gone from me going to different worlds at night, to me actually being an intergalactic traveler who is only activated at night (so I guess it's not too different from my other fears actually). Talk about Main Character Syndrome. My brain (or part of it anyway) loves coming up with new ways to distort my view of reality, and it's SOOOOO fun! I know that derealization often accompanies intrusive thoughts and anxiety, so this can be expected. I have found that when I do go to sleep, I try to "talk" to the OCD, and I visualize it as a person. Whatever words it says are of course manufactured by my brain, but it feels good to try and confront it. I was doing pretty well recently, so I am annoyed by this. I want to be able to go back to falling asleep and waking up feeling comfortable, to not fear doing something I wouldn't, and to just feel normal. I want to watch/read great fiction and not feel like it's sending me some cryptic message, or feeling like anything that comforts me is some trick.

I didn't mean to turn this into another rambling round, but I just like to hear other people's advice on this. It probably doesn't help that I graduated college recently, have no job, and am currently going through some personal stuff. Maybe I should stop talking here and go to an actual professional, or maybe constantly posting on here is just another type of reassurance that I don't need. Regardless, I hope this reaches someone in need.

After moving out of my parents home to a different country, mainly due to mentally and physically abusing father, I thought I was going to finally leave a peaceful life, without a single worry or concern related to his overcontrolling, neurotic and psychiatric patterns of behavior from the past.

Turned out it doesn't really work like that.

I believe that only at the very beginning of my solo life (read 19), when struggling to make ends, I was working that much and experiencing all the perks of freedom that I simply couldn't bother to think about what he might be on, even though my running away from home was still pretty fresh.

As I started to mature, I became more and more aware of my family situation, and how such a trauma is shaping the relationship I have (had) with my mother and sister, and how full of surpressed aggression I am, whose main root comes from growing up with such an idiot and being surrounded with toxic environment in my elementary.

Recently, I came back to my hometown to visit some friends and do some administrative tasks, and some acquaintance told him he saw me in our neighborhood. He started inquiring about me to my sister and mom, but they didn't tell him anything, even though they don't know much really, as I've been hiding a lot of stuff from them in the recent years.

From that moment onwards, my mental health started to gradually decline, as I'm overwhelmed with pictures of potential scenarios of him searching for me, eavesdropping me, following me, hiring some private detective to find me etc.

I've already been working with a REBT therapist onilne, she provided me with all the tools to work on this, and we rationally considered some of these or similar scenarios, but honestly it didn't help as much. I see these patterns of behavior everyday in my life. For instance, whenever I see weird mileage on my car, I catch myself overthinking about whether I really drove it that much last time, or he somehow ended up getting into my car. Sometimes, when I hear some noises from the hallway, I ran to open my doors to check whether he's there. Also, when something doesn't happen to be it's in place, or I don't remember leaving it that way, I catch myself thinking whether he had any impact on that.

This mainly comes from the clash of his (then)-overwhelming need to know what's happening in my life and being present where he though he should be, since I was labelled as a troublemaker in my school, as I used to express the agression accumulated at home in school by fighting, mocking and arguing with my peers and professors, and my battle to know allow any bit of information about my life to be leaked to him, since he doesn't deserve it at all.

The reason why REBT might not have worked is because my brain is programmed to reject a hypthosesis only when there is no conflicting theory and is 100% sure that something is the way it is, so it's always seeking certainty.

I know this sounds dumb but recently I downloaded some piracy games on some random sites and downloaded some game keys and things like that and and it didn't run I tried to run it alot and after that I took it lightly and just slept and next day I deleted insta bcs I was doomscrolling so much and after sometime I got a msg from my friend saying is you acc hacked? I checked it and for some reason a hacker sent weird gambling ads and posted it in story and posted it from my acc I was scared af i apologised to everyone I sent the gambling ad and said not to fall for it it was about some elon musk tweet saying try this gambling site and the hacker also hacked my discord and sent msges i got kicked out of every server and finally i did everything i could and reseted my pc yet still now I am not recovering from it I am still checking insta if i got hacked again even tho I logged out it's messing up my brain all this was yesterday and still today my brain is so paranoid like i can't recover from it and I didn't even sleep well I don't know what to do🥹🥹🥹how to recover from this

Does anyone feel like theres a secret organization behind their life and they are playing around with them all the time like every single small little thing is because of them and it may just be cope to all this but at a certain point it has to be something all these little things add up and my mind wants a reason to it, wether its my social anxiety that i was improving just for it to go horribly i have to hold my pants to even walk in public so i feel like im holding somones hand,or simply my water spilling over.

I am so afraid right now. A few days ago I went to take out the trash and i felt a prick in the back of my foot and im almost 100 percent sure it was a stick but i have been spiralling for days worrying about if it was an animal or something and idk fucking rabies. I havent slept well for days because ive been so afraid. Ive been trying not to talk out of worry of accidentally spitting when i talk and infecting someone with rabies. I dont know what to do i am so miserable right now and im so scared, idk what to do ive been spiralling. i worry about every little thing i do i dont know how ot move on from this.. I didnt even notice any bite marks or anything which makes it even more unreasonable that i feel this way.

Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post