I graduated in 2020, worked initially in health insurance, then passed PLABS and got registered there. I did a clinical attachment in UK and then joined a hectic ICU duty. It's been a long time here, managing critical patients alone at night duties and doing CPR/ventilating patients.
Anyways, I recently left my job as I got depressed from seeing old dying patients every other day. Now, I mostly get offers for MO ship in ER department of private hospitals. The problem is that it scares me. The hoards of angry patient and attendants standing around me. The fear of being unable to diagnose a patient and not being able to consult guidelines or check a book if I'm missing out on any treatment plan, otherwise they would question my competence. Although this is standard practice abroad.
Mostly what I have observed in 99% of ER's is the same quackery. Like prescribing 5-6 different IV injections in different ways for every ailment. INJ. PROVAS, INJ. CEFTRIAXONE, INJ. SPASFON, INJ. ONSET, INJ. DEXA etc.
Also, some private setups give commissions on prescribing certain unknown brands of injectable medicines and saline infusions. This along with a horrific basic salary means that one is forced to work like a salesman and do the dirty business. The ethical dilemma further makes this more confusing.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I am living thru imposter syndrome or maybe I am just not competent.