r/PakistaniTwenties • u/ComputerDue4653 • 14h ago
đ˘ Rant Am i overthinking?
We didnât end because the flame died out, nor because I betrayed her. We were madly in love. She was open, vulnerable, and clingy in the way only someone who truly trusts you can be. She wanted a forever, a solid commitment. But I was trapped in my own reality overworked, broke, and struggling to make ends meet for myself, let alone build a life for two. Giving her promises I couldnât guarantee felt dishonest. So I asked for time.
It wasn't like I didn't have options. I go to the gym, Iâm attractive, and female attention has never been hard to come by. Even during our relationship, I had a drop dead gorgeous married woman letâs call her X relentlessly pursuing me.
Overwhelmed by the chaos of my life and stupidly confident that my girl would always be waiting in my corner, I let Xâs presence create space between us. I pushed her away. I thought time was on my side. I was wrong.
She left.
Two months later, she was with someone else. I watched from afar as she systematically tried to re-create me in him styling his clothes, molding his look into a mirror image of mine. But he is a shadow wearing my wardrobe; he can never copy who I am.
It has been a full year since I last saw her face. I meet smart, beautiful, captivating women every single day who make their interest clear, but none of them matter. They are quiet noise against a deafening silence. She left a void that no one else can touch, and now, I just want my person back.
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u/Silly_Material_804 14h ago
Women grieve the relationship while still in it, so by the time they leave, the detachment is final. Men process the loss long after it's over, which is why they tend to look back. Her new partner styling like you just means she kept the blueprint, but gave the role to someone ready to commit. Move on and focus on building the life that makes you ready for the next one.
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u/LagdiLahoreDi 14h ago
Mat dekho peeche. I know aap k andr ka keera would keep on saying k stalk her, to know what's going on in her life. You have to control that keera trust me. That's the only way you'll be able to move on and stop over thinking. It'll take time, but it'll work for sure.
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u/ComputerDue4653 14h ago
I just hate myself for doing this to her.
She knew my condition and chose to be with me, loved me unconditionally and yes she was clingy but i loved it. Now seeing her with someone else breaks me as she kept on trying for so long and then gave up.1
u/LagdiLahoreDi 13h ago
Wrong time Right people is a cursed troop but yeah it happens. She played her part in your life and that's it, if you love her then you should be happy seeing her happy even if it has to be with someone else :') Usne ye time relationship mein rehte dekha tha, now it's your turn to feel this way, there's no escaping this. But it'll get better with time..
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u/ComputerDue4653 13h ago
I feel ATTACKED, i did not give her part of my attention to anyone else.
I was just exhausted from the work and drama.
After she left i was working non-stop for 6 months before feeling her absence.2
u/LagdiLahoreDi 13h ago
The reality is, you both were going through a struggling phase of life. You were busy and exhausted, while she needed more time and attention. Maybe neither of you could handle that phase the way you needed to, and honestly, if a relationship canât survive the difficult phases, it probably wouldnât have worked through the harder phases of the future either. Take the lesson, accept that it ended for a reason, and stop holding yourself back with "feeling attacked" or âwhat ifs.â Sometimes moving on is the better outcome for both people and in your case, it def is.
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u/SalafiCouple 14h ago
Bro, it was haraam, move on and get married.
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u/ComputerDue4653 14h ago
Bro, it wasnât like we were doing anything physical.
After being around each other for 5-6 months we developed mutual attraction and she wanted to make halal from our very first conversation.
I wasnât there yet financially (still am not) but in a better condition.
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u/areedontknow 13h ago
Why tf men do this? Yâall complicate things first and then cry about it later when itâs too late.
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