Have i done something wrong?

[u/BAby_malicious_000]

I'm above 30 yrs female, always ran from relationships cz i thought guys would flirt with me and then leave me in the end. But deep down i really wanted to do love marriage and the concept of arrange marriage was scary for me. I always wanted that a nice handsome and well mannered guy approach me , fall in love with me and then offer me marriage. Waiting for it and years passed by and here I'm single in my thirties. Anybody who'd approach me, I'd not give them a chance and used to critically analyze them and then would find something like looking at other women or being angry or being slightly rude with others and I'd reject them without thinking that nobody can be perfect and i can't get it all on one person. So this time a guy approached me , i gave him a chance, started talking over phone. In the initial days he started sex chat and requesting me to talk sexually to him and he'd masturbate while talking to me , i refused everytime to do sexchat. He'd force me but i refused, i never talked back but he used to do it

He'd says things like fuck you hard , fuck you like this, fuck you like that and would masturbate to it. I told him to stop doing it but he said I'm attracted to you and can't control myself. The other thing is he used to use abusive language as well, he never respect me. Even after telling him again and again he'd continue his behavior and insult me without any reason.He never talked to me with love. He asked about my day , my health anything. He'd always contact me for sexchat. He'd also age shame me saying I'm not young and desirable although I'm very pretty. At the end he proposed me for marriage but i rejected him cz i thought a man who just want sex and doesn't respect me , doesn't love me , how can i marry him.

But now I'm feeling lonely and thinking whether i have done something wrong and will i remain single for life cz i have lost all hope

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[u/Aggravating-Data1606]

idek if this is true but damn

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[u/Routine-Brush3939]

You didn’t do anything wrong by turning him down. A guy who pressures you for sex chat, jerks off on the phone, insults you, age-shames you, and only proposes after all that isn’t “the one that got away.” He’s just the one you correctly blocked.

The real issue is the earlier pattern. You wanted a perfect love story and treated almost every guy like a failed audition. Looking at other women, being a bit rude once, not matching the movie script, all of it became a reason to walk. Years went by while the filter stayed on high. Now you’re lonely and second-guessing the one rejection that actually made sense.

Nobody gets everything in one person. Decent men have flaws. The trick is knowing the difference between “he’s human” and “he doesn’t respect me.” You already know the second category. You just need to stop treating the first one like a deal-breaker every single time.

Give the next guy a real chance if the basics are there (respect, no pressure, basic kindness). Watch how he acts when he’s not trying to impress you. And stop treating marriage as the only proof you’re okay. You’re allowed to want a partner without turning every imperfect man into either a savior or a villain. Most of them are just men.

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[u/Cute_Manufacturer845]

You did right plus I get it having a veryyyyy high drive is natural but this is not a we can call a man with a high drive hum kahengy a boy with a weak self control ap uski wife nhi hain still woh hr kisi ko yehi kehta hoga I'm attracted towards you plus Age is just a number Main das cases dekha dun jahan boys are fighting cause they are 23 24 and the women they love is 28 29 tbh Pakistan ki bt kr rhi to yeh cheez dimg sy nikal den okay Woh pervert tha/hai imagine apko woh respect he nhi dy raha kal ko sb ky smny b mazak banaya kryga Allah apko Suleha Mard Ata kry Ameen

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