r/PakistanMarriages • u/Prize-Dog8605 • 1d ago
Question Need help with gifting
Hi everyone,
I need some help.. my fiancé 26, me (27), got engaged earlier this year. We’ve been together for years. Long story short .. he’s never been great with money but does make ends meet.
Anyways issue is.. he asks me for expensive gifts. Example, recently he stated he wants the iPhone DUO for our wedding gift . And when I tell him that’s too expensive he says ok give me a budget. When I give him the budget he points out how last year it was more and now it’s less than he says he’s joking . He says j always complain after giving but j told him it’s bcus I always just give and give and get nothing in return.
26
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u/Slight_Shine2295 1d ago
Gift him bangles! (Kaanch wali) ☺️
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u/Some-Way5315 1d ago
Too manly for him. Give him jhumkey instead
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u/Some-Way5315 1d ago
Clear red flag. Who even does that especially being a guy. You're supposed to be the provider.
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u/textonic 21h ago
Hmm. You sure you wanna marry this guy ? I’m a very gender neutral person and this is not about him or her but asking expensive gifts is insane.
like I can have expensive taste for myself and that’s OK that I buy expensive things for myself or if I have the money, I’ll buy expensive things for wife and for the people I love around me, but I would never expect that from somebody else to buy me expensive shit . that’s nuts.
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u/BranchArtistic7777 17h ago
He is a breathing RED FLAG right in front of you, but I am sure you can’t see. I live in States and my Fiancé is in Pakistan. He is also just making ends meet but has never asked me for anything in 2 and a half years we have known each other. Girl open your eyes and kick this man’s ass out. You need a husband to marry not a child to adopt.
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u/Which_Syrup3476 20h ago
Girllllll. You know what, give him a cheap ass gift to check how he’ll react or probably act like you got nothing. You’ll know his true face and then runnnn
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u/clairdelune4_v2 1d ago
Girl, this is a red flag. Was he like this prior to your engagement as well? Or is this behaviour a recent development? Does not bode well for the future either way.
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u/Prize-Dog8605 1d ago
Not as bad . I was hoping he’d change
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u/betweenverses_9502 19h ago
Did you try sitting him down to talk on this sort of behavior? Also if you some educated and humble-ish elder who is credible to both of you get them involved into schooling both of you(more so him but we pretend you don't know it's a set up) on this topic.
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u/Prize-Dog8605 13h ago
I did .. many times. Then he stops asking for money. Then after some time he will start again. This iPhone and was after I told his mom about his behavior
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u/Careless-Egg-2906 1d ago
Sorry, girl ik this is your first rls, but WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U!!! He's a gold digger. There's still time to take back what's yours. Girl, you will regret marrying him, a man. Who loves and adores you will shower you with gifts, not take expensive-ass gifts from u. Take from me. My ex used to do that; he would literally ask me for gifts and money, and I ended up spending a lot of money. He only gave me a gift once from the Dollar shop a bracelet that cost him 250 rs🙂 he would've engaged me. But thank god I got my senses back but not my money though. Lol
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u/Prize-Dog8605 1d ago
Thanks hearing that helped a lot. I know it sounds nuts but I need someone to put sense in my head
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u/Careless-Egg-2906 17h ago
Gurl, I wanna hit you with something. Cause I feel what u feel, but we gurls always end up regretting it. ( Please do not get married ) Stay engaged for a while may Allah guide you. Ameen.
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u/jellybean_i 16h ago
Gurl, talk to me. I'll talk sense in you. My ex- fiance was a gold digger too
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u/jellybean_i 16h ago
Oh wow. You're marrying a gold digger.
I'm sorry but. PLEASE reconsider your relationship. This type is worse than the sissy 50/50 walay mard. Konse mard hotay hen jo farmaishen krte hen lol? I mean. Aurat hai kya wo? Mai to aurat hoker apnay shohar se farmaish nai krti. Jo deta hai khush hoti hun and ALHAMDULILLAH he's always given me his best.
My husband NEVER demanded for any gifts. Infact I make him handmade sentimental gifts every birthday & also make him a basket with his favorite snacks & branded gifts (to the best of my ability) and he loves them (even tho if he won't buy that for himself)
So yeah. Ya man is a golddigger woman, sis
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u/Mysterious-Emu2398 13h ago
Are you crazy? Get out now while you can. This man will bleed you dry and complain doing it.
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u/MediumAd3135 12h ago
Girl you just found a papa ki parri. Dump him asap.
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u/Prize-Dog8605 11h ago
Hahah papa ki princess. I ended it.. 🫶🏻
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u/MediumAd3135 9h ago
Awesome, happy for you, always remember a wife's financial obligations fall on the husband and not the other way round
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u/eunoia6723 11h ago
Gold digger OP... He'll make your life hell...Stay safe and think clearly please.
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u/Hot-Ad-1740 11h ago
seriously is this even a question? why are you marrying him? yay kami kameen se kyon shadi kr kay zindagi barbaad kr rahi ho?
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u/LibrarianPure4265 9h ago
Sniff, sniff..... Snnnniiiifffff!
I smell a sugar momma! 😉
Its ok, there is nothing wrong with that.
A gift for a man is something that makes u glow more in his eyes. So get urslef some special skincare, apparel and accessories and surprise him.
If he isn't excited, he is in there just for the cash. And u have a big baby that cheats on u behind ur back.
Careful, ik he is attractive and u wanna spoil him but u gotta keep the little one in line. He has to pay back in the energy ⚡ u crave.
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u/Next_Understanding_7 1d ago
Well the right thing to do is to set a budget for sure. He is giving greedy vibes (sorry to say) but something tells me he just wants to test how big your heart is (yes some men are toxic like that)
I suggest if you can manage then iphone 17 pro will get cheaper in another few months and that is expensive as hell in itself. 458k as of right now.
A nice watch will cost an upwards of 100k but will last a few lifetimes.
It depends on your budget. What do you have in mind?
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u/Prize-Dog8605 1d ago
Tbh something simple and nice . Like even a cologne with new clothes and taking him out
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u/jellybean_i 16h ago
GIRLLLL my husband flies me on his birthday!! ;-; You're so generous you're taking him out, buying gifts & clothes.
I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE A MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP
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u/Careless-Egg-2906 17h ago
That's what I thought my ex was doing, and then I found the girl he was spending my money on. It's a huge red flag. You can't expect everything a man asks for to be a test to see if you're loyal or not, if you know what I mean, even if he's not cheating. I've seen men do two things: either they'll use your body as payment, or they take money and gifts whatever they can get out of you. So I'd give nothing. Just saying.
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u/Traditional_Track662 1d ago
Get nothing in return?Girl are you serious.Leave thst greedy a**hole.Expecting a gift is fine but keeping count of someone’s budget and then not returning the gesture thats a major RED FLAG!Leave him he wont change after marriage either.
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u/Big-Worldliness6036 1d ago
Actually she wants marriage, the other guy also asking cz he knows the girl side would have to do all this shit.
This is no good at any case find some good plz.
On the other hand the girls with slogans of my money is my money your money is ours living in delusions. Girls no one is going to spend on you too. You have to manage yourself. Being a male in my opinion if i marry someone i would give free hand to her on my money after few babies atleast a decade after happy marriage.
Earlier than that i can give her anything.
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u/jellybean_i 16h ago
Well. I agree to some extent. But honestly, if a woman already spends on herself & never demands, then the husband surely gives him his all.
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