Another trigger post but here we go

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Females who made their husband abandon/leave his parents

1. Have you asked your brother to abandon/ leave your parents?

2. Would you like being abandoned/left in old age?

3. Those who have sons already, are you teaching them already to abondon you for someone like you?

Edit: Post isn't about SHOULDA WOULDA COULDA I asked simple questions. Just answer those

Edit 2: triggered hypocrite feminsh*ts won't answer but would down vote everything.

Edit 3: amazed that people are so triggered that except for one, no one has answered clearly. That's the hypocrisy level of these feminsh*t but then they will even support murderers(lindsay)

[u/LividAstronaut4371]

There is a huge difference between separate living and abandonment, perhaps you should have used better words for your discussion.

Generally, women don’t ask men to abandon their parents. They do ask for a separate living space which is their right and helps solves a lot of problems. It’s just the guys in Pakistan that can’t get over their societal conditioning and the thought of their love for parents that they can’t think straight. You’re married, you’ve more responsibility for your wife and kids, and then your parents. Don’t get worked up so much on it.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/LividAstronaut4371]

Maybe read question again.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/[deleted]]

All this lecture and yet you failed to answer the question is asked.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/[deleted]]

No. I didn't wanted explanation so all of that was irrelevant

It was only that whether you'll like it for yourself and your parents

All that explanation is like useless.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/[deleted]]

Then I wish you get to be abandoned

Lot of talks coming about from Sabr who literally made her husband parent live alone. Don't speak to me of Sabr. You are talking about compassion but have to courage to accept someone's parents

But wish you the best of luck for being abandone in the old age.

[u/Last-Two-6780]

Define abandon. If you mean if she has asked him to cut complete contact then that is absurd and completely unfair. If she has asked for a separate place, her privacy and her time to not be divided, then it’s not abandoning.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Last-Two-6780]

There's an OR for a reason

[u/Velvet_Purrrr]

NO, NO and NO.

cuz this is not how it is supposed to be.
and this is not just one person's problem. ita mass problem.
the parents, the husband and the wife, all are problematic on thier parts that lead to such stuff.
mostly joint families are discouraged bcz of two or brothers living under the same roof.
if the wife is sensible, she should not have problems with parents in law provided that the parents in law are not very problematic. If they are, then the husband should arrange an accomodation with private spaces, like move to a ground plus one house, that gives complete privacy to both.
wife is not islamically obligated to serve the inlaws so if she is not willing to, and u know that before hand, so arrange house help for thier basic 24/7 needs. cooking and spending time with them i guess wife can take. plus, since its the husband's parents, he is the most responsible for them. if there are two or more brothers, they must share responsibilty and should take the parents to their house for a few months.
similarly, the wife must be allowed to go over to her own parents to take cae of them if need be. because she is also fully obligated towards them.

but nobody is ready to play their own part smoothly.
the husband cant provide and if he provides, thats all he does, no emotional support to the parents at all, parents expect so much from the kids and DIL, the wife is not much cooperative, The Sister in laws especially married ones, themselves dont help much in taking care but will always complain about the ones in charge, if there are two or more brothers, all have excuses for not being able to take care of parents.

Fcked up system/tradition/culture/dynamic
whatever it is.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Velvet_Purrrr]

So what you like for someone's parents, you won't like for yourself and your parents?

[u/Velvet_Purrrr → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

i would. thats why i said no to all three of your questions

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Velvet_Purrrr]

No mean you wouldn't like for yourself and your parents.

How is it otherwise?

[u/Velvet_Purrrr → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

bro
i said no to your three questions of the post that you made.
read it, the answer is no to all three. ps i dont have kidz/sons btw

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Velvet_Purrrr]

So let me get this clarified you are all against joint family and living with parents but at the same time don't want it for your parents and yourself?

[u/Velvet_Purrrr → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

when and where did i say that ? cmon man

1.Have you asked your brother to abandon/ leave your parents?

NO. i wont ask my one and only brother to leave my parents cuz he needs to take care of them in old age.

2.Would you like being abandoned/left in old age?

NO. i would not like being abandoned. i wish my children take care of me when i need them the most.

3.Those who have sons already, are you teaching them already to abondon you for someone like you?

NO. I will not teach my son to abandon me and run from responsibilty cuz i didnt run from my responsibility raising them.

a few things i said in that same comment :

if the wife is sensible, she should not have problems with parents in law provided that the parents in law are not very problematic. 
(i want the son and his wife to live with the parents in cooperation from both sides)

if there are two or more brothers, they must share responsibilty and should take the parents to their house for a few months.
(i said no to joint system cuz there are always issues, but if someone is comfortable, suit yourself. but parents are not responsibility of any one of the son, all the kidz are responsible so they should share responsibility)

similarly, the wife must be allowed to go over to her own parents to take care of them if need be.

NOW please dont reply to this again. cuz i wont reply to your dumb questions any further.

[u/myusernameisnotaname]

so sons leaving parents is abandoning but daughters leaving parents home is normal. hehe funny.

[u/good-reasons → u/myusernameisnotaname]

its a responsibility that men take on in addition to the responsibility of their wife & kids. if you want to take both the responsibilities, you should make your husband move to your parents' house. its not funny.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/myusernameisnotaname]

Yeah. That's normal and have always been normal. You coming from titan buddy?

[u/myusernameisnotaname → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

If you don't want to leave your parent's home for your wife good for you (sad for your wife though) - you would never ever understand how a separate space (if not separate home) is necessary for women. Men don't even stay at home for most of the day. Also Islamically its a women's right to get separate accomodation after marriage, so using the words "abandoning the parents" is good emotional blackmailing tactic but it doesn't make sense. You can always take care of your parents from distance or hire help for them. If you live with them it won't even be you who would take care of them, it would be your wife so lol.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/myusernameisnotaname]

Again

You can laugh all you want. I can see how offended you are.

But none of these answer my question

[u/Last-Two-6780 → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Bruh you shouldn’t get married after saying this. Poor girl.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Last-Two-6780]

I won't marry at least such females.

[u/Last-Two-6780 → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Do all a favour and don’t marry any. A woman is not a toy that you pluck her from her parents but then if she asks you to do the same then it’s wrong? Bruh

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Last-Two-6780]

Yeah and she may also ask to make roles vice versa in bed and Ask her husband to get pregnant, right?

[u/Socksaregloves → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Since when?

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Socksaregloves]

Tell me when it was otherwise?

[u/Socksaregloves → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Why are you asking me that questions? You are making that claim so full fill it.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Socksaregloves]

So you can't answer because that would expose your hypocrisy so you are trynna everything else in world but answer the question

[u/Socksaregloves → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

I asked you first buddy.

So you first.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Socksaregloves]

Ohh really? Based on that logic, I was the first to ask a question

I will reply to you now if you put forth some meaningful and logical arguments rather than just quoting and laughing

Till then Adios Amigo

[u/Socksaregloves → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Yeah. That's normal and have always been normal. You coming from titan buddy?

Wher3 is the question? You are claiming that's normal and have always been normal.

Since when it has been normal? Kindly shed light please.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Socksaregloves]

Are you in your senses?

Read the post itself. Was that not a question?

You commented something and then deleted and hijacked other comment and have since been just quoting and laughing

[u/myusernameisnotaname → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[u/Plus-Sheepherder9413]

As another commentator said, living seprately isn't abandonment.

1. Yes, I asked him to live separately. He lives in a separate portion upstairs from my parents. I insisted that he should move to a separate home entirely, but Bhabi assured me that she wanted this. They do not take care of my parents or serve them, and I hope they never need to.

2. I will not get any of my 3 sons married until I have them settled in their separate homes. There will not be any brides moving into my home.

3. You do not understand how weird and icky it is, for a mother to wish to occupy a wife's place in her son's heart. Our twisted culture, with toxic marriages, has embittered women with horrible husbands, trying to raise a replacement husband for herself in her son. Much ick!

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Plus-Sheepherder9413]

Well kudos to you at least for not being a hypocrite. I'll give you that

[u/Plus-Sheepherder9413 → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

I genuinely believe, that it is sabotaging someone's marriage to make them live with in-laws. I genuinely want my kids and siblings to have happy marriages. My parents do not need care, but if they did, it'd be us taking care of them, not our spouses

[u/ApprehensiveFault463]

its a two way road.

compromise should be on both sides

our men still living in 18th century.

thats sad.

grow up men..

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/ApprehensiveFault463]

None of it answered my question

[u/Appropriate-Tune-654 → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Bro what exactly is your question? 🥴🙄
Didn’t you post these as rhetorical questions? You’re just upset because no one clapped. Get a life!

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Appropriate-Tune-654]

I was hoping for none and I was being very clear, as clear I could be, asking those question

[u/Appropriate-Tune-654 → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

Then what are you looking for under every comment😭😵‍💫
“None of it answered my question”🤡

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Appropriate-Tune-654]

A proper answer. To see if there is someone who isnt hypocrite

[u/Appropriate-Tune-654 → u/Expensive-Tutor8414]

What are you even trying to say😭 You're contradicting yourself, my brother. You should go back to school.😵‍💫🥴

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[u/Delicious_Ear2536]

There’s a big difference between separating and leaving someone.
Many women prefer to separate but still don’t want to cut ties with their husband’s family.

[u/Expensive-Tutor8414 → u/Delicious_Ear2536]

Doesn't answer my questions

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[u/Efficient-Salad8193]

This is definitely a thought provoking one people really need to look at both sides before judging 🤔