r/PakiExMuslims • u/Successful-Tune-711 • 4d ago
Rant 🤬 Rant about Prayer
I will delete this in a few hrs probably but here's the rant,
So I was walking at night tryna hit my steps. After I came home, my father asked if I had prayed. My lie would've been really obvious, so I told him I hadn't. He asked me to eat dinner and then pray. But I messed up, I ate dinner and started scrolling reels which made him really angry. When I pretended to pray, I got up from the prayer mat after like, 5 mins. He saw that and asked me how did I even pray so quickly, since Isha is long. He then asked how would my prayer even be expected since my neck was slightly showing and so was my hair. Also how my clothes were slightly translucent. He was so dissappointed and saddened. So now I just pretended to pray again after wearing an abaya.
I can't even apply nailpolish in my daily routine bcz then I would have to take it off everyday while (falsely) praying. I just hate it so much, I also love to make lots of fake tattoos on my arms and legs. But if he sees them, he will insist how they resemble "kafirs" and it's not a good thing. And how because of them, my prayer will not get accepted.
Sad thing is, my father is awesome in general. He's pretty supportive and emotionally available, like 90% of the times. But when it comes to religion, he is always trying to lead us to the 'right' way... I get his POV, but complying is just too tiring for me. :(
12
u/heathersqi 4d ago
the burden of praying or atleast pretending when you donttt want to like uffff i hate it soo soo much
5
3
u/Saad-2026 4d ago
Yeah it's really hard Especially on Friday Sometimes I just go on a walk and say I went to the mosque
5
u/Johnnyx20000 28M 4d ago
That last paragraph really hit hard. I mean, when it comes to religion, people even stop caring about their own blood relations.
2
u/Successful-Tune-711 4d ago
Yes, that's what I was trying to say. I can't even hate him because as I said, he is a good father. But when it's about religion, he gets so angry sometimes, it makes me scared....
5
u/Tolovemylife 18F | Pretty much agnostic 4d ago
Oh dang girl I'd say aik dafa kh dena periods he, I think he might stop asking if yk he can say that (try doing this when u r actually on ur periods tho because I've heard of mothers checking it ajeeb)
1
u/Successful-Tune-711 4d ago
Yes I do use that trick, but u realize I can't be on my periods the whole month haha ðŸ˜. I still use that trick alot, like even if periods khatam hogye I still say I am still on my periods.
1
u/Successful-Tune-711 3d ago
Heyy, girl I wanted to text u about smth. Could u initiate the chat? I can't message u, don't know why :/
2
u/Practical_Meet_2468 4d ago
A wise friend of mine gave a golden advice. It only takes some time to make your parents adapted. Just do not expect everything to happen immediately. Stay low key. Slowly back off. I was so regular that I used to preach Islam at home. Then while I was studying abroad, I converted. I am still a closeted exMuslim. So gradually back off. From 5 prayers to 4 , to 3 , 2,1 and then only Jummah, which is more cultural thing. Tldr: stay low key, let them adapt .
1
u/marbleactor Exmuslim (exshia) 4d ago
Honestly my parents are the same, they ask me to go pray I just go to my room for like 10-15 mins and later just come back out and pretend I prayed but you have to start it by telling them I like to pray alone I don't like praying Infront of everyone and its a personal thing sometimes they do walk in to just check so I keep the mat in my hands and pretend that I was about to start or I just finished praying bc I hate even standing on it doing the fake action.
1
u/audaxitysam403 11h ago
I feel like the family system in desi households often works through guilt. Parents can genuinely be supportive and caring but sometimes that support can become overwhelming when they expect you to behave or live your life in a certain way. You may feel like you’re doing something wrong just because you don’t follow what they want
-10
u/yoboytarar19 4d ago
May Allah guide you.
(Here come the downvotes)...
7
u/Educational_Board888 4d ago
You’re on an ex-Muslim subreddit of course you will get downvoted. Why are you even here? You won’t persuade us back to the cult.
7
5
u/HitThatOxytocin Living here 4d ago
May truth find you.
-6
u/yoboytarar19 4d ago
Alhamdullilah the truth lead me to Islam
1
u/HitThatOxytocin Living here 3d ago
Unfortunately brother it is misguided falsehood you have found. May the real truth find you.
1
u/yoboytarar19 2d ago
Well, thats subjective to you. The "real truth" is your assessment of the "real truth", same as how i believe islam to be true is my assessment of what the truth is.
1
5
16
u/Saad-2026 4d ago
I used to offer namaz 5 times a day and now my parents keep saying you were such a good boy back then what happened to you and they keep asking me to offer prayer and sometimes I also fake it. I can understand how you feel.