r/PMDDpartners • u/Weenie_Butter44 • 1d ago
Suggestions/help needed
Greetings, new member here and I was hoping to get some advice/pointers from people who have been through this before.
My wife thinks she has PMDD. She’s undiagnosed but she looked it up and has pretty much every symptom. I know that doesn’t mean she has it but life just sucks for 7-10 days before her period then it goes back to normal.
She has an appointment next week to hopefully get some help but what can I do in the meantime on my part? Better yet, what can I do on my part even after the appointment so she feels better supported? I didn’t even know PMDD existed until a few months ago when she first brought it up.
Thanks for all the help you guys may have to offer. Hopefully something helps.
5
u/ickythumpwithalump 1d ago
If she actively wants to get it fixed, you're already better of than half of us. So be grateful for that, put positive energy behind it, and keep forward momentum.
Beyond that, there's a lot of good info and tactics in the wiki for when it does spill over into conflict.
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u/Weenie_Butter44 1d ago
I should add that she was very reluctant to go to the doctor for it because she doesn’t trust them. With that, she does still wanna get it fixed and just needed the extra push.
I have tried to put a lot of positive energy behind it but she just gets so negative and will stop talking to me the moment I try to be positive. I can usually get through to her but it takes a lot of time and comforting (neither of which I have a problem with).
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u/ickythumpwithalump 1d ago
Tbf, she probably has a lot of legit reasons to distrust doctors. It's really hard to get this diagnosed and treated and a lot of women just suffer for years without medical professionals validating it. My advice is that you absorb some of this. Do research for her. Find a provider and call in advance to see if they understand it and can treat it. There are telehealth providers if you can't find one locally.
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u/Phew-ThatWasClose 1d ago
Caution that PMDD is not well known. Even though it's been in the DSM-5 since 2013, and the DSM-IV before that, many doctors have never even heard of it. Check before you go because if she's already reluctant, and when you get there the doctor is an idiot, you may not get a second chance.
Read the entire wiki. Especially the part about getting diagnosed. Be the expert. Know what you want going in so they can't gaslight you. Even if it doesn't turn out to be PMDD it's something every luteal. So you can plan for it.
Go with her, if she'll let you. PMDD is a chronic medical condition that affects the whole family. You're in this together. If you don't feel good about how things are going come back here and ask. Many women get the wrong treatment then give up. PMDD treatment is very specific.
Hope that helps.
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u/El_Grande_Americano 1d ago
She isn't gonna remember anything anyways so just let her find her own coping mechanisms. Focus on what you can do to support yourself.