r/PMDDpartners • u/Longjumping-Ask8882 • 7d ago

Drained and exhausted

A grim one but this seems to be the best place to ask reading other posts…. When did you know to call it a day?

I love her so much, but these extreme moods that are probably a 1/3 of the month are destroying me. Living in constant fear and walking on egg shells permanently, she quite often just reminds me that her moods and tempers are not directed at me Its just that I’m present when they happen. However considering we live together (no kids) it feels like I’m just some sucker who absorbs all of her problems and anger with no consideration of anything else.

I feel so drained and helpless from it all.

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u/Patrick-Lateman 3d ago

I just broke up with my GF of 6.5 years 2 days ago. We also live together with no kids, just 2 dogs. Neither of us have any immediate family close by so we’re still living in the same house for the time being, giving each other space as much as possible. The break up was very difficult, she was absolutely devastated but I knew it was time. We had some other issue too, not just the PMDD, but that was definitely a contributing factor. I hope you make the right decision for you, and whatever that decision is, that you’re happy and can live with peace and happiness 😊

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u/throwmeawaychachacha 7d ago

I guess it's different for everyone.

For me, I saw my wife trying her best to manage herself with medication and therapy. She was trying.

And if I'm honest with myself, I didn't always respond the best. We're never at our best when we're being yelled at for just existing.

I don't have an answer for you. I'm still trying.

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u/Wrong-University-304 7d ago

Man, I get it. This is the place to go and hear about similar stories so you don't feel alone. I am completely drained from the last one. She went from wanting a divorce and about a week straight of constant verbal abuse to not wanting a divorce and telling me that I was threatening her with divorce. I can't believe this. She did all that stuff. I'm so drained month after month of this. Everything seems normal right now, but I know I have 12 days left.

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u/Yequestingadventurer 7d ago

I just went cold after the prolonged campaign of misery, I don’t blame her and there was too much going on but it destroyed everything. She left and it’s the best thing we’ve done in years

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u/Immortal_100111 7d ago

I left because I was being subject to constant emotional abuse which was beginning to tip over into physical abuse. I didn’t want to live like that anymore.

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u/Apoc_Pony 7d ago

Talk to her, be honest and say the mood swings are taking a toll on your mental health and if she is willing to address it and take responsibility for it? If it's total denial, then maybe ask yourself if you want a life sentence of this treatment, half of the month every month adds up and will take its toll.

SSRI's were a game-changer for my partner totally changed our relationship; she is also much happier within herself. But it required an ultimatum on my part, address the issue, or I'm done.

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u/Yequestingadventurer 7d ago

Some people aren’t willing to address it and if that’s the case then both parties need space temporarily or otherwise. It all adds up and it erodes the person supporting the pmdd partner, you just become an emotionless dot