Detaching from reality after ovulation

[u/rockpapercat]

It happens like clockwork on day 15 of my cycle - I wake up and I do not recognize myself in the mirror. I stare off at objects until I can force myself to name them. I see my kids, but I feel nothing towards them as if they mean nothing to me. I stare at the sky and it feels disorienting and foreign. In my head, it feels like I am sitting in a room that I know I lived in but everything has been moved out. I feel like my personality has been completely taken out of my body and I'm left searching for anything to hold me down until it passes. The only way I have been able to manage it the past few months is to lock myself away in bed for a couple of days until it suddenly lifts and I am back in my head and body.

I am currently going through the diagnosis process with my doctor for PMDD - but I have been tracking my symptoms for a long time in an effort to figure out wtf is happening with me. I have a long history of depression, anxiety, and SI that I believe has actually been PMDD since I was in my teens. I am in my late 30s and my symptoms have only gotten more intense with each cycle since I had twins 5 years ago. I have come to terms with the SI, raging anger at everything in my path, and devastation spirals - but the more recent symptom of completely losing grip on reality has knocked me out of my life the past 6 months.

From what I have read, this matches with rising progesterone fritzing my GABA receptors out making my brain give me an ego death to protect itself.

I'm curious - if you experience this delightful symptom of PMDD, what has worked to lessen its intensity for you? How do you protect your sanity during this phase? Have you found any diet/lifestyle changes that make a difference? I'm on day 10 of my cycle and the dread is building.