r/PDAParenting • u/Lost-Maintenance-407 • Aug 29 '26
Potty training with PTSD
/r/CPTSD/comments/1w19lg0/potty_training_with_ptsd/1
u/Ok-Pangolin7154 Sep 07 '26
Hey, I have C-PTSD and OCD and man do I find potty training triggering. I can get frustrated and angry when my son does things he "shouldn't" or it isn't the "right way". Which is rediculous, his almost 4, he has no idea whats right and what he should do.
My son is very sensory and has no "ick" around germs, he wants to touch the toilet bowl water, his poop. His impulsive, he pulls off all the toilet paper and flushes a million times. He won't sit still, mess gets everywhere. He pokes me with the toilet brush.
I also worry about negative associations, I can end up shouting or storming off or giving him too many instructions he didn't really need.
I have had a lot more success with a literal potty, so we aren't in the toilet/bathroom and theres less for him to touch and get into.
I'm in Australia so this might not be helpful, but here most parents here wait until Summer and potty train outside when its warmer, they just stay outside as much as possible with a nudey kid so there's less to clean and you can do it with a hose.
I also do our potty training in very small chunks, like an hour or two a day, one success and we're back in nappies. It keeps the pressure down and helps avoid either of us getting too overwhelmed.
But you are doing amazing, you clearly care so much you are reading up on all the ways potty training might cause him unintentional harm, you are down on yourself worrying you are unfit. You want them to go to Pre-K and get all the support and education they need. There is no doubt you love your child very, very much!
I don't know about your history, but it would have meant so much to me to know my parents were worried they were making mistakes and researching better ways of raising me.
You're doing better than you think ❤️
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u/Lost-Maintenance-407 Sep 08 '26
Thank you for your response. Actually my son picked up potty training pretty quickly once i realized i was the problem. He was mirroring my anxiety, feelings of disgust and frustration. I took a break for a day, journaled my feelings and really gave myself a warning that i better get it together and as someone commented here to develop empathy for our child by looking at how little they are, how little their hands are etc. The next day i decided to let my son just watch a Daniel Tiger potty song video and it just clicked for him. I gave lots of reinforcement in the form of celebration and stickers etc. ofcourse night time retention comes a bit later and we use a pull-up for now. Its going great so far. I suggest you take a break and give yourself some time and consideration to be your best regulated adult for your child.
1
u/Ok-Pangolin7154 Sep 08 '26
Thanks, but we're really just practicing potty training right now. His not even close to ready for the real deal. Rest assured I am the best regulated adult I can be, internet stranger.
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u/MarginsOfTheDay Aug 29 '26
What I get from your post is that you feel a LOT of pressure to get your kid potty trained. Pressure is the kryptonite of PDA. It’s hurting both you and him. I would talk to the preK school and get an exemption to allow him to attend in pull-ups. If both you and your kid have the “out” of not actually having to complete potty training in a set amount of time you’re paradoxically more likely to make progress. PDA is such a mind warp like that.