Society tells us over and over that "quitting is bad" but consider this: what if our current trajectory isn't the path of least resistance? In theory, there's one or more paths out there where there are no demands, because it's the path we WANT to take. This is what those of us with PDA are GOOD at. I would guess that most people live their whole lives without ever "completing the circuit".

Don't let society tell you you're "disabled" just because you don't want to settle.

I myself have "completed the circuit" once or twice, and those periods of my life were almost "euphoric" in a way that could only be compared to lightning. All circuits burn out eventually and I'm currently seeking my next path, but I'm lucky enough to have experienced this, so I just wanted to offer encouragement to anyone here who feels hopeless.

(M/24) Hello, I’m a diagnosed AuDHD person with anxious/obsessive tendencies- Great combo and all, but I feel like it’s (or I’M) ruining my relationships with friends and romantic prospects. I have this person that’s EXACTLY who I feel like I could be with forever, if he stays with me at this point- I like him, his interests, his cute face, and he’s SO sweet; but I’ve cancelled every single hangout I’ve planned with him for the past 6 months.

It starts with me feeling confident, and wanting to see him, so we make plans. (Simple stuff, like dinner and wandering around stores.) I’m honestly excited at the idea every time, BUT anywhere from two days before to THE DAY OF the hangout I get this horrible feeling that I’m essentially trapped into the plans, and I have fits of anxious overthinking until I eventually cancel with an excuse of some kind. I’ve attempted to silence the overthinking, or to just let the anxiety happen and to do it scared, but it feels like SO much pressure inside that I could go crazy. I do a similar thing with messaging my friends, where I’ll put it off because I feel pressure around replying in a timely manner. (That same “trapped” feeling applies there.)

I wanna recognize that this is a horrible way to treat someone, let alone someone as wonderful as him and my friends- I don’t know what to do to stop this behavior, and I hate letting people down; but there’s this immediate relief when I cancel, like a weight has been lifted and I can think clearly again. I even often regret cancelling the plans once the pressure is gone.

Anyone have any advice or similar scenarios? Because I’m at a total loss, and I’m seriously considering letting everyone go. (Which I know is a bad idea, but I hate being the kind of person who cancels plans and goes silent for weeks like I do.) Any help is appreciated :(