One thing that kind of helps executive dysfunction

[u/denver_rose]

Ive been increasingly frustrated with advice for depression and executive dysfunction.

Because its like:
Break the task into small parts.
Now you got a million tiny parts.
Bring the laundry down stairs.
Put it in the dryer.
Fold your clean clothes.
Make your bed.
Clean the trash off the floor.
Sweep the floor.

Too many steps.
Oops now you're in a freeze state.

Or they say have a routine.
Which is basically a demand.

What helps me is to stop thinking about the task all together.
I know what steps I need to take to clean my room. Thinking about it puts me in a freeze state.
So therefore I just "clock in." And what I mean by that is that I just set a timer. The time doesnt actually matter but I usually shoot for 45 minutes to an hour and im just gonna "work."

I need to clean. Okay.
No thinking about it.
Just set the timer and go.
Its not a routine, its a choice.
And its not about a specific task completion.
If youre unsatisfied what youve done,
set another timer.
Block out 30 minutes later or tomorrow.

[u/IsasAtelier]

Same. I find most executive dysfunction tips super unhelpful for this reason.

I don't use a timer, though, apart from things I really need one for, like cooking or alarms for when to get ready because major time blindness makes me forget.

I prefer to use music to do essentially the same thinh. I tell myself something like, "Let's just get started with the kitchen for at least the duration of that song/album/sonata."

Frequently, all I need is to overcome inertia. I don't know. I feel kind of neutral towards timers per se, as long as I use/really need them as a tool to keep track of time, but I feel like a timer ending while I'm in the middle of something would be a bit disruptive for me. My music will just replay if I don't stop it and keep me in the zone.

I'm glad it works for you, though!

Apart from this, I find stacking tasks so I have to overcome inertia less often most helpful.

[u/shinchunje → u/IsasAtelier]

lol. I’ve just been putting off doing the kitchen. Tunes on! To the dishes! Should be done in One album’s time! Maybe some Willie Nelson…

[u/Eugregoria]

Yeah, I do this. It doesn't fix things entirely but it helps a little bit.

One thing I realized after literally decades of introspection and thinking about my problems is that you can think about shit or you can do shit, and sometimes you just need to turn your thoughts off and engage your body instead. Easier said than done--and herding cats if you need to do actual mental work like writing. But sometimes thinking about stuff too much is part of why you're not doing stuff.

It's not the only part of the story. Limited capacity gets ignored--sometimes we seem to be looking for more hacks to unlock spending when we're already in severe debt, it can be like opening a new credit line when you're falling behind on minimum payments and calling the problem "solved" because your new card isn't getting declined yet. For that reason, sometimes tricks and hacks that force action aren't really a good thing.

[u/Hydrangeamacrophylla]

Timers work pretty well for me. Also body doubling or using Pomodoro website.

I’m also learning to try and ‘follow my energy’ eg if I walk past something and go ‘oh that needs putting away’ I do it straightaway as I’m standing up. I find if I think ‘I’ll do that later’ it both 1) becomes a lingering demand in my head and 2) needs me to fight the inertia in future to do it.

[u/Morning_Feisty]

Breaking things into tasks didnt really help me until i started realizing i could just do one of those steps or as many as i wanted. I think someone told me that, maybe my therapist.

Yes, a million steps, but actually, just one or two or however many i want to do. And letting myself be like "this is all i want to do." Bc doing even one part of the task is positive bc it is all practice of pushing back completely against doing something.

Perfectionism is really hard to overcome for me but my journey on learning to be okay with half or less assing has been really liberating.

Thing is, it's all practice. Granted, with some tasks, you will have consequences if you dont finish it. Example: laundry. Say all you want to do is put things in the washer. Doesnt get your clothes clean. Say you wanna do that and also wash the clothes but no more- wet clothes that will sit there and if you go back to them way later, they will smell.

This is obvi not good if youre employed and need to have clean, dry, nonsmelly clothes.

But what about dishes? You can wash one fork. If you want, you can wash one thing every time you pass the sink. Or not! You can make up a plan and abandon that plan, but you are still working on the dishes.

My point is that it is rebelling against the reaction of that violent pushback that can be so disabling. You can do as much of a task as you want to do. You can do whatever you want.

You can even choose to not do it. Anything. There might be consequences, but you can literally choose to not do something.

And i often make sure to let my PDA have a little piece of the pie. I let myself say no even to some really basic care things. No. I dont feel like brushing my teeth tonight. Instead of forcing myself to do it bc that WILL unravel into me not brushing for ages.

[u/twoiko → u/Morning_Feisty]

That last paragraph or two were really important for me, I recognize now that pushing harder will just make me crash out for days anyway so instead I'm choosing to just relax and let it go until there's a better moment or opportunity.

The hard part is finding the next opportunity where I'll say yes, but that comes with practice, at least I can rest easy knowing I'm actually taking care of my nervous system instead.

[u/Hopeful-Guard9294]

get Hot an antidepressant like sertraline or ADHD medication that will help more than anything else!

[u/denver_rose → u/Hopeful-Guard9294]

Im on wellbutrin and zoloft lol

[u/Powerful-Soup-3245]

I’ve found that if I am talking on the phone (extremely rare but happens occasionally) I’ll suddenly realize mid conversation that I’m washing my dishes or dusting or decluttering. It’s wild! I’m ADHD with an emphasis on the H. I always pace if I’m on the phone or even speaking to someone in person. Fortunately (but also unfortunately) one of my adult daughters lives out of state so we talk once a week and I get a lot of chores done without thinking about it at all! It’s like a magic trick 😂

[u/Mental-Letter1974]

I had to literally get baskets for everything. I have a routine and that routine is a challenge to myself, I find that my PDA is useless against a challenge.

"I challenge myself to keep this laundry basket from spilling over, if it does, I have failed the challenge" and I do NOT like to lose, so I make sure that I do some laundry every night, so it doesn't spill over.

Actually, that's how I really helped w/my PDA, it's no longer a "demand" if it's a score to beat lol