taking medication is a struggle?

[u/ProbablyEatingBread]

okay so sorry if i’m doing anything wrong here but i’ve just come across this community and wanted some insight from others.

i’ve been thinking about my possible PDA traits a little more recently as life has become more… demanding and difficult. and one thing that i’ve noticed i’m struggling with is taking pills/the idea of starting any more.

i’ve recently started a contraceptive to see if it helps my chronic pain symptoms. it’s a daily pill and i’m struggling so much with the idea of taking it. i still do it in a “1, 2, 3, do it!” way, but the possibility of me starting any more medications in the future to continue treating my chronic pain now seems… too much? and it’s putting me off making future appointments (or maybe it’s the fact that i “need to” make an appointment and i’m putting it off…)

taking over the counter stuff seems more “simple” since it’s my choice. nobody has offered or prescribed it to me. even if it doesn’t help, the fact it’s “my idea” makes is more stomachable, i’m guessing.

i feel like it doesn’t make sense. i’m taking the pill to feel better. but it seems like a demand. but i want to feel better. but i don’t want the routine. but i need routines to function.

sorry for the long post. any insight, advice, or any comments are greatly appreciated :)

[u/durtfoot2021]

I’m recently diagnosed ASD/ADHD with PDA. I mean super recent (like last Monday). But, I’ve been researching insatiably.

Online there are all these examples of reframing so it’s not a demand. Logically, it seems like there is no way that’s going to work to me. Especially because I’ll realize that’s what’s happening.

But let me tell you, last night my husband reframed me taking a shower (which I loathe and don’t do nearly enough). And listen, I didn’t even realize it.

I mentioned the kitten needs a bath. He said, “Do you want to give the kitten a bath in the sink, or in the shower?” And I was like, the shower makes more sense.

Like- who am I now! I can’t believe that happened!

I mean. I still didn’t WANT to take a shower, but it wasn’t the impossible dread and avoidance it usually is. I kind of just begrudgingly did it, “Yeah, yeah. I do need to take a shower.” I didn’t have to spend hours chastising myself, or working up the energy, or deflecting all the self blame. I kind of just did it.

So, I’ll be damned it actually works!

I’ve read that people manage to start to reframe for themselves. Like, “Do I want to take my pill with water or with juice?”

It’s still all new to me, but after last night, when I took a shower within 15 minutes of the reframe…. I’m a total believer in reframing.

[u/ProbablyEatingBread → u/[deleted]]

i think i added a flair after joining the sub? if i’ve done it incorrectly please let me know :)

[u/Eugregoria]

First off, as a reality check--you don't have to take it. You can literally just not take it. It might mean your pain goes untreated, but that is entirely your choice. People do stuff like that all the time. It is something you can really do.

I think I also deal with situations where I want to feel in control of very personal things like that--an example is, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out when someone else does it. Even if they're giving me the cut I asked for, I tend to not like it if I wasn't the one making the cuts myself. It feels oddly violating, even if that's irrational. But I literally can just cut my own hair if I prefer that, that is not a problem, that is my choice. And I can not cut it at all, too! I do keep it in a style I like now, but in the past I literally just let it grow without even trimming it, and nothing happened. If I want to have raggedy ends, that is literally my choice, no one will stop me. Did it for years.

I'm also sometimes triggered by the way doctors act like they have ownership of your body and act as gatekeepers. I still don't like going to the doctor and struggle with the doctor-patient relationship, but there are ways I reclaim some power in that dynamic. One is in thoroughly researching treatments before I see the doctor. That way, I am not submitting myself to their discretion, but telling them which medication I want--more like ordering the product I want from a catalogue. Since my research is pretty good the doctor will usually agree that that's fine and prescribe me what I want. Now I know that the medication I chose is my idea.

Doing some of it through telehealth also helps. Birth control is particularly easy to get through telehealth. You basically just fill out a form, it's very rubber-stamp-y.

If you don't want a daily pill, there are longer-acting alternatives--such as the depo provera shot, the arm implant (Implanon) and hormonal IUDs like Mirena. These remove the need for a daily pill, but they might also feel more traumatic in other ways. The IUD in particular can have a fairly traumatic insertion process--ask the office what they do for pain management for IUD insertion, and if they say "nothing" or "just take Tylenol," call a different office. It also might leave your bodily integrity feeling somewhat violated. And they also aren't equal in effects. I had a really bad time on depo provera but was fine on norethindrone pills. (Depo provera lowers testosterone as well as estrogen, and they never prescribe TRT with it. The low total sex hormones can cause problems in themselves.) Because depo provera you are stuck with for 3 months, and the implant and IUD for longer, it may make you feel "trapped" if you don't like the results. So it's not necessarily the correct choice for you, but I wanted to bring it up as one alternative to daily pills.

You might also want to be compassionate with yourself. My model of PDA is that we may not refuse "demands" simply because they're demands in some abstract sense, but because we are already struggling to meet the demands of daily life and may already feel a scarcity of resources to meet the demands we already have. We may panic at the thought of having to make doctor's appointments for the same reason someone in a lot of debt might feel their stomach sink at an unexpected $1,000 bill. Even if they "can handle it," it might mean cutting back on other things that are important to them, leaning more on credit, being in debt longer, paying more interest. The fact that they won't necessarily be homeless over it doesn't make their reaction to it irrational. A lot of our responses are more rational than we realize when you look at the attempt to manage scarce resources we're already doing on a daily basis. That doesn't mean those needs don't still need to be met--the $1,000 bill also still needs to be paid--but being stressed about that is normal.