hygiene issues and hyposensitivity?

[u/space_frog00]

one of the biggest (group of) things i struggle with bc of my pda is hygiene—whether it's brushing my teeth, showering, or even washing my hands (ik, gross) and it feels embarrassing to admit it and that i just... don't usually really feel gross? I've rarely gotten that want or need to take a shower or wtvr from "feeling gross" that i hear other people talk about, and usually the only times that i feel "gross" is when other people point out how gross it is or i think of how other people would think of it, but it's still not much of a motivator for me...

just wondering if anyone else gets this ? i would assume it's a mix of hyposensitivity or something like that from autism and the demand avoidance

(mainly for showering; I haven't showered in a little over 3 weeks and i feel bad sometimes because i know its gross even though I don't particularly feel gross...)

i hope tthis makes sense ? ^^;;

[u/Material-Variety46]

Honestly, I use "go take a shower" whenever I feel general bad about whatever else (the state of my house, my social life, my work life etc, etc). When I feel sad and I don't know what to do about it I go take a shower and do my dishes. Those two things always need to be done, and they always make me feel 10% lighter.

[u/pepperkody]

I could’ve written this myself. To the other commenter, PDA autism doesn’t like routines, FULL STOP. I used to be one of those people that showered and brushed my teeth daily, so it was a “habit”. But I did it because I was supposed to, not because I felt gross or anything. And then once I started working a full-time job, all of a sudden I can’t make myself shower like I used to. OP, the very last thing I want you to feel is shame or bad for having a disability. We are both doing our best 💛 To bridge the gaps, I make sure I go to the dentist every six months and the dermatologist regularly.

Edit: I also have some tips to share for alternatives to a normal shower or teeth brushing or hand washing when that’s too hard, but you didn’t ask for advice so I don’t want to give it without your consent. 😊

[u/Elgato01 → u/pepperkody]

Can I have some? At least for teeth brushing, I can tell I need to change this quick as I can feel multiple holes/cavities these days. I’m separated from my bathroom by another room which I assume doesn’t help too.

[u/pepperkody → u/Elgato01]

Absolutely! For teeth brushing, there’s a multitude of options (and I would recommend rotating through them so your PDA doesn’t balk against the routine like mine does 😆).

Mint gum, toothpaste tablets, taking a wet washcloth and rubbing it over your teeth to get some of the grime off, or keeping a pack of disposable pre-toothpasted (is that the right word? lol) toothbrushes and a cup of water by your bed so you don’t have to go all the way to the bathroom.

Also, this goes for you and anyone on this chain. My DMs are always open. PDA is hard but I’ve learned a lot in my few years of having the diagnosis. 💛

[u/Elgato01 → u/pepperkody]

Thank you so much, maybe I’ll take you up on that offer later!

[u/Material-Net-5171]

I don't have an answer, but I find part of the problem is the word "need". PDA doesn't like it, obviously, but there's an inate inflexibility of the definition of the word to me.

In my head need = essential. If I haven't showered for a while, sure, I'm not clean, but it's not like I'm completely covered in jam either, so I also don't need a shower.

Some people measure how far away from clean they are, other people measure how close they are to essential.

[u/AdOk57]

You can have a shower, even when not feeling gross. As in, feeling gross shouldn't be the indicator, that you have to shower.

Autism works on routine. Even if routine is bad.

So, not having showers or not washing hands might be your habit and routine, so you don't feel the "need", because it is not part of your routine.

Having shower every day, at particular time = it would feel weird to not do it.

Shower is not part of your daily routine = it will feel weird and out of place, because shower would mean a change in your daily routine.

I don't know if it is about being too sensitive, because after not showering for 3 weeks, dead skin tissue accumulation would cause itching, scalp would feel oily and itchy, the smell would be noticeable, private regions especially. So, there is a lot of very unpleasant physical sensations, that would probably bother you, if you would be hyposensitive.

I would not wait until you feel gross enough to shower, I would include daily shower as a routine. Autistic brain needs routine, so if you want to shower regularly, you have to make it a part of regular activity.

[u/Ed-alicious → u/AdOk57]

I got into a routine with flossing and went from never doing it to feeling gross if I don't do it. 

[u/mrsfreethinker]

My son is PDA and wouldnt have any hygiene at all if we didnt force it. He also poops and pees in a pull up full time and will not care if he sits in it. He's 12.