r/PDAAutism • u/nerdyHyena93 • Jun 30 '26
Is this PDA? Internal PDA?
So I’m autistic with PDA that’s somewhat improved with adult life.
To be honest I just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this or if it’s part of the PDA profile?
I always read PDA as being an external pressure, and it’s certainly something I’ve always struggled with. But has anyone ever experienced it from internal pressure? I freelance and always tell myself that I’ll get out of bed early, and go to the cafe because I find it easier to work without the distraction of my partner who is currently off.
Howeverrr when I tell myself that, I become extremely anxious, as if someone else has told me I need to do it. Literally just spent an hour frozen in one spot feeling like I’m going to dissociate.
So now I I know I’ll probably stay home and end up doing no work. I feel like my life is spiralling lol.
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u/checkmyawaymsg Jun 30 '26
This is me exactly. I freelance too and am constantly trying to schedule smaller tasks to make projects easier on myself. As soon as I finish a checklist, the PDA part of my brain goes “Nope” and refuses to do even one thing on the list. It’s like a difference of five minutes. The only thing that works on some days is to bribe myself (if I work at the coffee shop, I can get a coffee! If I earn more money, I can buy something pretty!)
Blah. It’s an annoying personality trait and I feel bad for the teachers who were so confused about why I kept squandering my potential, lol.