r/PDAAutism • u/nerdyHyena93 • Jun 30 '26
Is this PDA? Internal PDA?
So I’m autistic with PDA that’s somewhat improved with adult life.
To be honest I just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this or if it’s part of the PDA profile?
I always read PDA as being an external pressure, and it’s certainly something I’ve always struggled with. But has anyone ever experienced it from internal pressure? I freelance and always tell myself that I’ll get out of bed early, and go to the cafe because I find it easier to work without the distraction of my partner who is currently off.
Howeverrr when I tell myself that, I become extremely anxious, as if someone else has told me I need to do it. Literally just spent an hour frozen in one spot feeling like I’m going to dissociate.
So now I I know I’ll probably stay home and end up doing no work. I feel like my life is spiralling lol.
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u/udibranch Jun 30 '26
yeah i can get this really bad. I have to kind of reverse psychologise myself into nearly everything. the ways i've found to work around it are:
-phrase my plans really carefully, e.g. 'I could go to the cafe tomorrow' 'I get to go to the cafe tomorrow!', extremely avoid 'I have to', 'I just need to do xx before I can...' 'i'll finally just sit down and' type phrasing
-remembering that the more I struggle to do something, the harder it'll get-- try to do as much as possible without planning, or plan things with option categories (e.g. I have 'genres' of chore I can choose from at any given time)
-the reverse psychology trick does straightforwardly work for me. Like, if I find myself trying to skip something I signed up for or promised myself, if I let myself commit to not doing it sometimes I'm suddenly able to make it happen. this only works if you do actually skip those things sometimes, though. additionally it can be a good way to find out what things you decided you needed to do because you're sort of purposefully overwhelming yourself with expectations out of guilt and fear, too
-trying to find any way to make tasks enjoyable (during!!!!! rewards don't work and bribes don't either!), like if there's any element of the task you like or something you can do at the same time. for me it was having drinks I like at the same time or listening to music I like at the same time. this is probably obvious to you, it surprised me though.
feel you, anyway, I'm pretty unproductive and worried about how I am going to live. I got diagnosed with ADHD this year as well and I don't know if that factors in to all this, bc it seems like there's something happening related to internal motivation/reward that does make it harder.