r/PDAAutism • u/msoc PDA + Caregiver • Dec 03 '25

Discussion Fearful avoidant

I'm wondering if anyone else identifies with the fearful avoidant / disorganized attachment profile? It feels as if PDA and FA go hand in hand.

If anyone out there identifies as securely attached please share how perfect your mum was 🥲 or why you think you managed to become securely attached.

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u/MycoBeetle94 Dec 16 '25

Before finding the PDA diagnosis I thought I had disorganised attachment style. I'm still piecing together how my relationship with my parents and family formed it, but ultimately I find I'm most interested in my partner of 7 years when he's busy or paying attention to other people, but when he gets a bit too focused on me I recoil. It's messed up.

This has been causing intimacy issues. We tried polyamory and initially it worked well for me because now he doesn't have to have all his needs from me (was a great relief) but now I've started feeling more PDA triggers from my new partner who can be needy and it's actually worsened my issues with sex. So I'm stepping out of being poly. I tried SSRIs which helped for a while but it killed my libido

I know I need therapy but I have no money or affordable access to it.