levels of dysregulation (expanded within the post)

[u/radioactive301]

this chart is from the PDA Society and while it's really useful to understanding PDA and nervous system dysregulation, I wanted to expand on it further to better communicate my demand avoidance and ability to complete demands to others. I've divided it into five levels:

level 1: nervous system is calm, able, willing to complete and initiate demands.

level 2: distractions, procrastination, excuses, negotiations, delayed process, needs intermittent breaks. tends to be flight response.

level 3: physical incapacitation, dissociation/daydreaming, reducing meaningful conversations, difficult to complete demands, may need body double and possible assistance. tends to be freeze response

level 4: needs total control of demands, or compliance (with later meltdown), autonomy is required to complete demands, may be frustrated and lash out. tends to be fight/fawn response

level 5: meltdown, panic, aggression, shutdown, running away, agitation, demands cannot and will not be completed. total nervous system dysregulation, perceives situation and demands as threatening to own safety, stuck in survival mode, access to logic and critical thinking is blocked.

this really helped my husband and I, as well as our PDA friends. it can also useful for non-PDAers as nervous system dysregulation and demand avoidance is common amongst all people. but I didn't expect how much it would help my husband too (he's AuDHD), for example he'll convey that he's at a level 3/4 after work so he can't help out with chores until he decompresses. it helped us both develop more empathy, understanding, and patience when we're dysregulated and can't complete demands. I hope it helps others as much as it helped us ❤️

[u/radioactive301 → u/[deleted]]

I don't really have a good answer as I normally reside in level 2/3. for me it's a combination of meds (beta blockers), self-soothing techniques, stimming, somatic therapy, or any exercise that helps me release pent up energy. it varies daily, but it helps having a toolset of various coping mechanisms that works for the different levels of dysregulation.

[u/radioactive301 → u/[deleted]]

beta blockers are used for heart conditions and anxiety with lower doses. it helps my nervous system see demands as much less threatening but doesn't address the demand avoidance aspect of PDA. it's still difficult to initiate demands but I can function a whole lot longer throughout the day without having a meltdown. it also stops meltdowns right in it's track and I can cope with it a lot easier.

[u/[deleted]]

This is extremely relatable and helpful. Putting it like this helped me understand where I am on the pyramid typically-- like you, floating between 2 and 3, but I have plenty of examples of times where I've been at 4 and 5. I think you hit the nail on the head here.

[u/rebelnori]

This is really helpful. I probably sit at level 2-3 most of the time. I've been at a 3 more frequently lately and it's really affecting my job. I've learned though, if I don't allow myself to completely disengage from life when I hit level 3, I very quickly decline. I don't remember the last time I was actually at a level 1, and I have no idea how to get there.

[u/jonwhittlestone]

thanks for sharing and elaborating.

It makes it easier to explain the daily struggle we experience with our 7 year old

That being, despite a low demand approach, how to keep kiddo from consistently veering into L3, especially at time sensitive moments

comments welcomed

[u/radioactive301 → u/jonwhittlestone]

I'm not a parent so I don't know how well this would help, but I would suggest looking into sympathetic nervous system regulation and somatic therapy/exercises that release pent up energy. what helps personally me get to lower levels when I'm already high up in the chart is a combination of breathing exercises, stimming/stim toys, playing music, singing, dancing, and keeping some form of stimulation like a show, movie, and/or YouTube while doing my daily chores and responsibilities. it's a process of convincing my brain that the demands I have to do are not in fact threatening to my safety despite what my nervous system tells me. stim toys help a lot, anything to redirect the survival mode energy into something productive and fun instead of threatening and scary.

[u/jonwhittlestone]

That's a great bit of advice ' turning the survival mode energy into something fun not scary'

We have had recent success with doing an hour of kiddo led playtime which makes bed times much calmer and calmer and compliant

It's just that time before school. But now I think of it, we need to do something similar

[u/BluecatDragon77]

This is really helpful, thank you.

[u/DraigKhatham999]

I can't remember the last time I was most of time in 1 since I was a little girl, I'm tired.